With the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays looming large, I can already feel myself getting down in the dumps. Every year, I just get overwhelmed by it all — the gifts, the stress, the pressure to do huge gatherings and act like I’m enjoying myself when I’m not. Our holiday family get-togethers when I was growing up were generally awful, and I don’t even have any family now worth trying to celebrate with. I appreciate the friends I have who want me to join in with them, but I usually feel even worse when all their happy-smiley-supportive relatives show up as well. Is it wrong for me to want to lock myself away from all this goddamned holiday happiness?
— Bah, Humbug!
If the holidays get you down, perhaps you should think about going away. It’s not wrong to want to be alone for the holidays, but locking yourself away sounds like a form of escapism that’s not much fun. Also, if the holidays hold such bad memories for you, eventually you need to deal with that so as to not live that language for the rest of your life. If you confront the specific instances from your past that are such a drag, you can put them to rest forever, and the heart of this holiday problem will finally be fixed. Honey, I know, I never got Malibu Barbie either. Damned G.I. Joe — you know how hard that bitch was to dress up for tea parties?
Is it true that eating yogurt can make a person’s “love juices” taste better?
— Dairy Queen
Honestly, I’ve never heard that. Come to think of it, though, I once had an acquaintance who dated a manager of a Baskin-Robbins, and it seems he was always bringing home ice cream from work. I never did quite understand why his nickname was “33 Flavors,” so maybe you’re on to something. Then again, it could be like oysters — if you believe it’ll work, it just may. Personally, I’d rather rim my mother than eat a container of yogurt, but if it works for you, have at it.
I’m 23, just moved here from California, and I don’t know anybody. I would really like to get to know people, but I’m really not at home in clubs. Where can I go to meet guys my own age? I am single and really feel lonely and out of place. Please help if you can.
— New and Lonely in Alexandria
Okay, everyone, all together now: Awwwwwww! Most of us have been exactly where you are at some point — new to the Washington area and a little intimidated by it all. You can meet people in a variety of places — the gym, at church, in social groups and organizations, and yes, even clubs. You just have to put on a brave face, take the first step, and get out of the house. Start, perhaps, with a particular hobby you enjoy and seek out others into the same thing. This is one of those places where no matter how obscure your interests are, there’s a group for it. Although I did recently hear that the local chapter of Gays Who Like to Crochet While Listening to Hall and Oates Records (GWLCWLH&OR) had to disband after a particularly harsh membership slump. You know, the economy and all. Sorry, sugar. But rest assured, the only person you’ll ever meet by staying home is the postman. And trust me, he doesn’t always ring twice.
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