Hearsay

The White Party at Velvet, Mark Wolff at Wet

Velvet’s White Party gets a thumbs up from Mother Nature though only the virginal seemed to be wearing white …

Mark Wolff takes a hold of Wet…

Hearsay was in Banana Republic when it heard the news of the weak. "Cookie Buffet was found in a tighter hole and captured." Sometimes Hearsay’s hearing is more amusing than reality, you know? But in Hearsay’s myopic whirling world — and why does "myopic" have a bad connotation anyway? Just a thought — the news of the weak had nothing to do with a rock, a spider hole and white lice. It was the impending sense of powerless doom that only white powder can provoke in this here power-center of the free world. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, ah people, Let it Go! It’s just snow! Don’t let it shut you in for the night. The holiday parties must go on. Hearsay was relieved to find that the good gay people of Washington didn’t let the threat of that very same snow keep them away from Velvet’s White Party last Saturday, December 13. Which is how Hearsay came to be found in la Republica de Platano (not Plaid, people, never plaid). Hearsay’s usual "wish for color" was modified, at the (advertising) order of the Republic, as a "wish for ivory" — and boy if Hearsay didn’t find just the perfect nieve outfit for the evening. Never before has there been a better-timed Velvet White Party than this year’s. Hearsay was seeing white all night. Not everybody wore white, Hearsay’s sorry to report. Where’s your white, Hearsay asked of every cute boy who nevertheless shoulda woulda coulda been left on the other side of the velvet rope, if Velvet had a velvet rope. Nope. "It’s after Labor Day," protested Gregg "Is It 2004 Already?" Roby, as he sauntered away in his gray shirt with — his one concession — a white-number "9" centered on it. Where’s your white? "I’m white," J.T. "Ajax" Powell responded, opting for a sporty sleeveless black shirt instead. Turns out, he didn’t need to wear white to look cute. Where’s your white? No papi: Miguel "From The Islands" Cometa told Hearsay that white is passé. Boring. Velvet’s promoter Ed "Calm ‘n Collected" Bailey did his best to keep boredom at bay and thousands of boys at play. The white cloth banners hanging from the rafters throughout the club added ambiance. And the dynamo DJ duo Rosabel pumped the low-end frequency all night for those addicted to the drumbeat, and there were quite a few in attendance. Still, as much fun as Hearsay had in the club, the best was yet to come, as Hearsay rumbled to the door. Oh my heavens, it’s snowing! Hearsay dares say that late-nighters had it best — especially around 3 a.m. — before it turned into a slushy mess of rain and sleet and anything but whiteÂ…

One week earlier, on Friday, December 5, Hearsay was confronted once again with a mound of white. But Hearsay braved the forecast which called for inches of snow and decided to see inches of another kind. After hearing that Marc "I’m a Physique Model" Wolff was in town Hearsay decided it was a good night to get good and Wet. Before venturing out, however, Hearsay thought it would be nice to warm up with a little something from the Duplex "Thank You Jesse" Diner. A little Vox can go a long way. It seems Hearsay was not the only one excited to hear that a bone-i-fide porn star was in town. A happy patron (sorry no saint here) was proud to display the torn advertisement he was going to have Mark sign. Hearsay wondered where Mr. Wolff was hiding his pen. Hearsay decided to look. Trust Hearsay when Hearsay says: There’s nothing white where that pen was hiding. In any case, according to Mr. Wolff, he has decided to switch positions and says next year he will give up performing and focus his attention behind the camera. Tres pity. For what a performer Mr. Wolff is, with more than enough charisma to keep Hearsay’s tongue drooping, cartoon-like, on the floor. And Hearsay is happy to report, Wet’s floor tastes like Cherry Slurpee — but Hearsay does not recommend you go around licking floors, okay?Â…

Got some dirt for Hearsay? Write Hearsay at hearsay@metroweekly.com.

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