Horoscope

November 30 - December 6, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: It’s funny how quickly tasks, activities, obligations and other things pile up this time of year. You started with a handicap, remember? Don’t beat yourself up if you’re still not quite up to par. Santa has a method to his madness, learn from him: Make a list, check it twice, jettison naughty or save it for nice. Since there are more things in heaven and earth than your budget has dreamt of, set extra aside. A shopping buddy helps keep resolutions.

Aries: There’s greatness in disaster. There’s nobility in failure. Often it’s only a matter of perspective. If everything gets to be too much, try reframing for radical relief of your stress symptoms. Dissonant notes may not be welcome, but they add depth to the experience.

Taurus: You’re charged up to work out the difference between ”thine” and ”mine.” You’re a little obsessed with understanding the machinations of the big picture. You’re waking up with dream imagery that would make a Freudian analyst salivate. Own this profound truth.

Gemini: It’s like those old-fashioned dances where you start at the top and work your way down the line, again and again. You’re winding through the figures once more. You know what’s coming and where to put your foot so that you don’t step on your partner’s. Is it still fun?

Cancer: So what do you intend to do about that? It’s the same complaint from a different quarter. Is it something you can fix through ingenuity and imagination? Is there an example from history you might use? You have the resources, but you’ll have to commit to using them.

Leo: You’re stuck in slo-mo whilst the world zips around you in bullet-time. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Trim your do-list to your ”absolutely must” list. Excuse yourself from the extraneous. Schedule in time to frivol and frolic. These are integral qualities of the times.

Virgo: You’re ready to learn from your mistakes, which is lucky because they came home to roost just now. In fact, you’ll find that what you were told was wrong has become a fabulous innovation. Now that you’ve tamed the unicorn, have you begun making holiday plans yet?

Libra: Yes, there’s a sticky wicket ahead. But you’ve got your eye on the ball and you’re holding to a long-range strategy that may be as brilliant as it is dependant on the knocking of Opportunity — like Uncle Ned at the séance. Consider the lilies of the field and chill out early.



Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You kind of like the idea of everything getting much bigger than you’d expected and going much farther than you’d anticipated. Sometimes you like not knowing how the plot will twist its way out to resolution. Once you recover from your surprise, get holiday cards mailed.

Sagittarius: You’re boldly going where you ordinarily wouldn’t tread without permission. If you insist on dancing with angels on the head of a pin, remember that your perspective may be a little out of scale when you get back from the heavenly rave. Bring a needle and thread.

Capricorn: If a piece of news could change so much, would you let it? Pretend you’ve heard from the cosmos and that you now have the whole world in your hands. It’s time to break through the crystalline structure and reveal yourself as a butterfly of the first water. Initiate.

Aquarius: You’ll remember that you made a number of commitments to the community. They remember, and they wonder where you’ve been hiding. Step forth from your isolation. They love you. They really love you. Even your peers think you’re bomb-diggetty. Go the distance.

Pisces: Call on your household gods to witness your transformation into a brand new you with a whole new raison d’etre and a brand new look to go with it. If you don’t have either of these, you’ll want to get off the dime and onto the band wagon before the circus passes by.

Horoscope

November 23-29, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: We live in times as interesting as they are potentially lucky. How can you access the serendipitous while avoiding the compellingly intense parts? They’re blended together such that you can’t have the one without the other. But you may remember that there’s nothing out there that can do you more harm than good for the duration. Bring your self-esteem to the holiday table. You’ll be protected from the slings and arrows of outrageous relatives and/or strangers. Overdo everything on Thursday.

Aries: It’s funny how you can feel so full of life when the world around you is putting itself down for the winter. Revel in the season. Take joy in each dull or glowing moment. There’s a deep magic here that whispers to you in the secret corners of your soul. Learn from a child.

Taurus: You want to be better at sharing than you are, but it’s hard to know where to draw the line in the sand between thine and mine. If you take more than that to which you are entitled, does that make you an imperialist in your heart of hearts? Ask your question Monday.

Gemini: You’ve been talking the talk, but are you ready to pull your socks up and walk the walk? Moral dilemmas pop up like infernal gophers in a bad video game. Can you manage them and honor yourself, too? Honestly, you may as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb.

Cancer: You might decrease the peace by increasing the quota of chaos in the home. But hadn’t you been feeling that things were a little too much the same, a little too bland lately? Get into the spirit of wildness and maybe even throw pecans into the dressing this time.

Leo: Yes, you can fall in love at first sight. More frightening still is that you can fall in love with someone you’ve known for ages in all kinds of contexts. Watch your step. You’re more than a little vulnerable to letting your heart do the figuring when you do risk assessment.

Virgo: It would be easier if you didn’t hear the disapproving voice of your parents saying, ”I told you so.” Happily, that noise is a self-generated hallucination. Your real family would never say that to you. And if they really would it may be time to cut the cord. Accept the best.

Libra: Isn’t it funny how you turn to what’s familiar when things don’t go exactly right? Chart your compulsions by following your responses to the holiday stress to which all flesh is heir. Once you have a sense of what you do on automatic, call on your peeps to help pull you out.



Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You have the means at your disposal. You have the supply lines necessary to see you through. You are ready to wage a campaign such as has not been seen since Hannibal crossed the Alps. Does it have to be a holy war to justify your excesses? Could it be a picnic?

Sagittarius: No one ever accused you of not being able to find the bright spot in the gloomy day. But your enthusiasms are being subjected to a peculiar quantity of criticism right now, and most is generated internally. Stop picking at yourself like that. The Universe loves you.

Capricorn: You’re not usually so easy to mislead. But this was an intentional act of disinformation, and you weren’t prepared for outright chicanery. In the aftermath, don’t accuse your self or others of naïveté. Set fresh parameters and standards to change future outcomes.

Aquarius: You can come out and play as soon as you’ve finished all those chores on which you’ve been procrastinating for ever so long. Your peers are waiting on you, and you want to be there. Stop cutting yourself off from that to which you’re entitled. Make it easy on Sunday.

Pisces: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the best employee of them all? It might be you, but do you want that dubious distinction? Wouldn’t you rather be the most creative? Or the most original? Or the least involved in office politics? There’s a way through the looking glass — use it.

Horoscope

Novemer 16-22, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: In that darkest-before-the-dawn darkness in which you find yourself, you may be surprised at your view of the stars and the vast uncharted interior landscape of the soul. Use your perspective to reassess your core assumptions. Use your grasp of the essentials to chart your immediate transformation and ultimate survival. Allow yourself to be brutally honest in your decisions. That way, you’ll end up with what your heart desires, not what your culture pushes as ”must have” for now.

Aries: You’re walking through the early evening when a flare suddenly shoots up, grabbing your attention. Do you go on over to see what’s going on and how you can help, or do you stay on task? There are no right answers, only vectoring choices and divergent paths. Act.

Taurus: It could be all about you. But that means you’ll have to let go of some of your laid-back affect and hop to in order to catch this sine wave and ride it to the shores of success and fulfillment. Selfishness will be revealed as thoughtful withholding by the end of Monday.

Gemini: It might be as easy as all that. Can you bear that you have so very much power over what you accept as your daily life? You can shake it up like a kaleidoscope and when it settles and shines again, it will be all the same pieces in a different order. Give yourself awareness.

Cancer: Are you falling deeper in love with the latest mystery in your life? Is it next to impossible to extricate yourself from the ”we” speak into which you’ve fallen? Is your inner dialogue compromised? You never had any objectivity to lose, so don’t cry over spilled milk.

Leo: Once you begin the arduous task of separating your authentic soul from the dross and impurities carried forward in the residual sludge of exposure to your family of origin, you’ll see that the Augean stables aren’t anything like as bad as you’d thought. Rejoice, chill out.

Virgo: You’ve got the will and you’ve seen the way in a vision. Gather your resolve around you and wait for news from a distant sibling to give you the next piece of the puzzle to work through in the scavenger hunt that is your life path. Don’t call ’til Saturday — it’ll work out.

Libra: It’s as though you’ve bought a house with an Olympic lap-pool, and you have a drowning fantasy and don’t know how to swim. It’s as powerful as you let it be — this alien part of your soul that’s calling out for attention now. Integrate it and harness the energy.



Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You’re spelunking in the abyss of your spirit. The sense of vastness, the steady sounds of dampness eroding what is and replacing what was, the coolness of the ages—these things are all around you. Take advantage of the solitude to work out your demons.

Sagittarius: Feel free to poke around in the corners. Give your dreams the space to open their flower-like visions to you. Understand that in the terrarium environment of your enclosed self, strange things flourish. Accept the sports and mutations — they’re evidence of your evolution.

Capricorn: Under all the scrutiny, you’re amused to find that there’s the senseless panic of stampeding dik-diks. You’d had no idea that things had gotten so bad from the one point of view. Yet you’re delighted to realize that the destruction of the edifice equals your freedom.

Aquarius: If it were meant to be forever, it wouldn’t be dependent on carbon-based life forms. Entropy being what it is, accept that the best you can do is to fight the second law of thermodynamics with everything you’ve got. Or tell the boss to stuff it and leave now.

Pisces: Is it time to take a walk on the wild side again? You’ve been so good for so long that you can almost taste the sweet texture of folly every waking minute and more than half your sleeping ones. Once you start dabbling in what’s naughty, how will you keep your story straight?

Horoscope

November 9-15, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: We’re beginning to see the effects of that which grinds slow but exceedingly fine. It seems that God was in the details, but has now been separated out during the refining process. If so, will you take time to reintegrate the holy and essential into your day-to-day self? Or are you so scattered that you’re more worried about finding your car keys than immediate salvation? Courage in the face of the indissoluble stands you in good stead.

Aries: Does it walk like a duck, too? Ordinarily, you’d be safe in the assumption of a duck here, but these are not ordinary times. Proceed with caution, intrepidity and a conscious awareness that you look better in warm-spectrum colors. Wednesday brings a piece of news.

Taurus: If you’re staring into the mouth of the abyss, does that make you dental hygienist to the ineffable concepts? And if you’re in it to win it, will you do what has to be done to make the abyss more comfortable, before you make it less so? Embrace your power in eternity.

Gemini: Some coincidences are more coincidental than others. With close attention, you may find that your life is rife with mildly-to-excessively unbelievable happenstances. Use your ability to find the structural weaknesses in the probability curve. Give it a second chance.

Cancer: You want a happy ending. You want the credits to roll and the feel-good music to wash over you. You have a long way to go to get from here to there. Can you bring yourself to participate in such a way that you move the story along, or are you just in it for the ride?

Leo: Your pride goeth-ing before the fall makes a pretty picture, but once your lions have taken the scenic route, will it be easy for you to get back on the right track for what you want, beyond ego gratification? Who is the focus in this recent conundrum, if it’s not all about you?

Virgo: You’re not afraid of the long, dark tea-time of the soul. It’s not such a bad place to curl up. But could you take that tepid existence and super-charge it into something action packed, or at least visibly active to the naked eye? Yes, you can. Slip into a phone booth to change.

Libra: Is it what you want? Or is it what you have to have, whether you want it or not? You may not derive much comfort from knowing the difference, but at least you’ll be clear on the choice matrix when looking back. If a smile is your umbrella, can you share it with a friend?



Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You’ve got a shot at the metaphysical big-time. You can see the turning of the mechanism that propels the universe, and in the face of all that greatness you can’t help wondering: What’s in it for me? What about selfless service and endless fulfillment? Consider.

Sagittarius: You’ve climbed every mountain and forded every stream, and now you don’t know where to go because the path of most resistance seems to have disappeared without a trace. Take your time. Enjoy being a little lost and at loose ends. Resolution comes suddenly.

Capricorn: Are you growing a little curl right in the middle of your forehead? It looks like you’re intent on being very, very good — or horrid. Possibly, you’ll skunk the odds and manage both at once. Is it time to find a new hobby if you’ve got this kind of free time?

Aquarius: You could go with your instincts and declare jihad on that which is an abomination in your eyes. You could retreat from the imperfect world and pray until your awareness dissolves. You could choose to work from within the system to subvert it. Think carefully.

Pisces: Is it contumely if it’s true? The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune can be ranged on your side of the battle for the road less traveled. But you’ll have to show some leadership, or at least discover some internecine solution that equalizes the contest. Wear glitter, gauze.

Horoscope

November 2-8, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: You live in ideologically dangerous times. Are you choosing to live in a state of internal lock-down? Are you resigned to letting the revolution pass you by because it’s not flawless in polemic and execution? If you can resolve the dialectic between intensity and perfection, then you will find that thread of compassion that can liberate you from the labyrinth of your terrors. If you get caught up in walking the talk, be certain that you have the right shoes.

Aries: You’re looking over your shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who can blame you? There’s a distant rumbling of drums in the hinterlands of your consciousness. It may be time for you to get back to basics and revisit your core choices. Bring an open mind Tuesday.

Taurus: You’re walking a mile in somebody’s moccasins, but it’s not clear whose or how you got hold of them. Enjoy the scenery whilst you consider your options for finding the original owner of your borrowed foot-gear. Is this the Cinderella myth come back to life?

Gemini: Is it a dance if you feel this frightened? Can it be a celebration if everything you hold dear is at stake? Is it an orgy if no one takes their clothes off? You’ll be handling conundrums of this ilk all week. The answers have to do with the level of openness you have to your fears.

Cancer: You can see farther than most. You are less afraid of the spectrum of outcomes than you have been in some time. You’re ready to bring your best self to the table, and you feel that you’re okay with the guaranteed delay on the delivery of the psychological pay-off. Jump.

Leo: If you were to look in the heavens, would there be signs and wonders? A new balance is in your life and it’s as precarious as it is challenging. Yet you wouldn’t trade this quality of experience for a lesser, safer alternative. Draw lots for the assignment — you’ll get lucky.

Virgo: If you could pack it all away and throw it into the attic with the holiday tchotchkes, would you release this cycle? Try to embrace that which is as dark and difficult as it is necessary. You’ll have a hand from one of those helpful animals — if you can recognize it.

Libra: Sense and sensibility go to war in your overactive brain. You have such delicacy of mind and taste that it’s not easy for the world to live up to your standards. Can you alter your demands sufficiently that you allow for some possibility of their fulfillment? Travel west.



Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: If it were easy, or pretty, you wouldn’t want any. You’re in the mood for that which is as inaccessible and precious as aluminum before electrostatic processing. Yet, once you have possession, will your acquisition seem as common as tin foil? Bring your attitude.

Sagittarius: You have seen the glory of the world passing and know that the new world order will have all the resonance of the old one. So don’t cry for what’s gone, but set your sights on the next big adventure. You have some time to recuperate and get your game back on.

Capricorn: If you weren’t so short of funds, you wouldn’t drive yourself like a runaway freight train in your efforts to get back on an even keel. But if you keep on running yourself into the ground, how are you going to enjoy the fruits of your labors when it comes time to harvest?

Aquarius: You’ve looked way before you, and you’ve looked way behind you. Can you look around at the present with the same degree of attention? Set your mind to solving the riddle of the ages. You’ll find a reward in the satisfaction you derive from knowing the answers.

Pisces: Relax and let yourself float on the morass of dank and unlovely materials that surface without cease or pity. You can’t contain the leak, and it’s not your baby in any case. Refuse to get drawn into the fray, and you’ll find you’re the referee of choice — since you’re impartial.

Join Our Email List!

Our daily emails are personally curated by our editors and feature a wide range of news, features, reviews and interviews. Don't miss out on any of our award-winning content -- from news to arts, cars to tech, food to fitness, we've got a bit of it all!

  • Breaking News!
  • Feature highlights and reviews!
  • Win DVDs, CDs & Tickets to Shows!
  • Special Ticket Discounts!

Join Our Email List!

Our daily emails are personally curated by our editors and feature a wide range of news, features, reviews and interviews. Don't miss out on any of our award-winning content -- from news to arts, cars to tech, food to fitness, we've got it all!

  • Breaking News!
  • Feature highlights and reviews!
  • Win DVDs, CDs & Tickets to Shows!
  • Special Ticket Discounts!