Metro Weekly

Horoscope

March 29-April 4, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: Are you dispensing justice, or dispensing with it? Be aware of your criteria, and watch your motives — everything suffers a sea-change this cycle. Will the pure become tainted? Could the damned be saved? Are the selfish sacrificing? Do the selfless have an agenda? All these can be true, and the speed at which events will proceed is past reckoning. Once the extremes of the scale have been plumbed, bring yourself back to center with a cool drink and a hot yoga class.

Aries: Is it time? Are you ready to show the world what you’ve been holding in reserve? You know you haven’t been out-maneuvered. But your strategy may fool the less perceptive into seeing your weaknesses and not your present strengths. Play your last card with panache.

Taurus: Let your life speak? The damned thing’s been talking and it won’t shut up. You have every right to be pleased and proud with the advances you’ve made. You have every right to consider how you could be more pleasantly remunerated for all your Brobdingnagian efforts.

Gemini: It’s show time, folks! Go to the mats to entertain, distract and dissimulate: it’s what you’re best at. But in your heart of hearts, you’ll be weighing out the price of your soul no matter how wide the smile on your face or bright the twinkle in your eyes. Decide carefully.

Cancer: If you call it a judgment, that’s what it will be. If you use the word decision, you’ll have more room for your other baggage — if you get what I mean. Release your expectations and you’ll find that you don’t spend much time in the Dead Letter Office of your conscience.

Leo: Get down to it, or get over it. There’s not much to choose between at this point. You’ve drunk from the cup to the very bottom, and you have all the moral ascendancy you can stand or stomach. I wonder what will keep you warm at night? Being right can be so very lonely.

Virgo: Look around you — as the landscape been changed by the chthonic shifts in your self-perceptions? It was an inner earthquake that has shaken loose the cornerstone of your ambition and exposed the hollowness of certain hallowed structures in your life. Retrench.

Libra: If you had to decide right this very minute, what would you do? And why doesn’t anyone but you care what the answer is? Do they lack faith in your follow through? Do you? Call ’em like you see ’em: You may not like the outcome, but you’ll still have your integrity.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Yeah, yeah, you have bad dreams. It’s a pity. But if you’re all that innocent, they shouldn’t be more than you can manage. What? There’re real skeletons in that closet? Color us all surprised! Clear your soul by confession, oblivion or even righteous indignation. Work.

Sagittarius: You had no idea you could rally that kind of support from your community, right? That would explain why it’s taken you so long to get such a short distance. But the lessons along the way have been more than appropriate. Don’t regret, pick yourself up and reach out.

Capricorn: If it were fair, it wouldn’t be the workplace you’ve come to know and survive. If it made sense, it wouldn’t be policy. If they were knowledgeable, they wouldn’t be your co-workers, n’est-ce pas? Still, paste a smile on your face and be productive anyway.

Aquarius: Look around you. Is this how you want the world to be and your life to proceed? You have more freedom and more self-determination than either you, or the culture around you, is comfortable admitting. Go the distance. Require that your own performance be super.

Pisces: Listening carefully reveals more than you might have imagined. Looking carefully shows you everything you need to know that isn’t easily verbalized. You’ve got the antennae to sense enough to avoid the hidden traps and pitfalls. Proceed with caution and a light heart.

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Horoscope

March 22-28, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: Disorientation often accompanies a severe change in barometric pressure — whether the pressures of the deep or a warm front encroaching from the south. If you’re confused or at a loss, you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to air your concerns: a problem shared is a problem halved. You’ll have a better sense of how to get through these stressful, yet liberating, changes with external support. Don’t make new commitments before Monday morning as you don’t have all the facts.

Aries: There will be peace on your house, but not just yet. Now’s the time to fight the good fight and lay the foundations for a present you can sustain into the future. You’re all juiced up and ready to go. Let the fresh weather take you past spring fever into a new beginning.

Taurus: You could try to focus, but everything remains in so much flux, you’d likely only give yourself a headache. Relax instead, and let the impressions wash over you. There’s good information out there, but it will take a subtle filter to extract what you require. Give extra.

Gemini: You can do more than anyone might have predicted. You’re called on to rally your community to you in order to make the most of this challenging, but productive cycle. Find a companion to walk the path with you, it’s a longer journey than you can suppose. Wear aqua.

Cancer: What started in the dark of the year begins to geminate and sprout and show itself to be other, and yet more, than you’d imagined. This new thing is still tender. Use your skills at nurturing to foster the growth you want in the areas that count most to you. Call a Pisces.

Leo: It’s not poverty of inspiration that’s holding you back. It’s not even a lack of liquid assets. You can’t do this alone, and you’re having trouble getting the assist you need to sink this one cleanly. Reframe your requests and your standards: You might have what you need.

Virgo: Call it a whim — it’ll save sticky explanations. But be clear with yourself that it came from deep within you. And understand that you’ll be settling in the worst possible way if you settle for less that what you want in your heart of hearts. Paradise has many different forms.

Libra: Is that destiny at your doorbell? So why are you hiding in the bathroom? You might have been more careful what you’d prayed for, as you seem to have gotten it in spades. Try to rejoice, and stop looking around for someone else to shoulder the responsibility. Release.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Calling all cars: You’re required to respond to the matter that’s been percolating upward through the stone you call your heart. It’s taken you long enough, now you need to fish or cut bait. Give yourself props for resisting necessity up until the very last moment.

Sagittarius: You had no idea the impossible would be this difficult to accomplish on the timeline you devised so long ago. Yet you’re most of the way to your goal. Don’t give in to the urge to quit, or even turn around. Push a little harder and it will all be downhill from here.

Capricorn: Since the pressure’s not on you, except in a collateral sense, you have the luxury of doing your best with your full focus and a whole heart. Enjoy the sensation, and devote your extra time to the care and feeding of your love life. You get back what you put out.

Aquarius: Is it hype if it turns out to be real? Believe what you choose. Propagate what you value. Extend your circles of acquaintance and you’ll grow your philosophy at the same time. Fight inertia to the top of your bent: There are a finite number of chances to get it right.

Pisces: You have gone with the flow, and you’ve been good at it. Now you’ll want to fight the current and make your way to the quieter waters where you can refresh and restore yourself in order to continue on that long journey to your selfhood. Take a nap. Have milk and cookies.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

March 15-21, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: The changing of seasons brings a certain degree of chaos, anomie and a mood of free-floating anxiety tied to all those tiny little things that remain undone. Give yourself extra time to get organized, and extra space to arrange all those items on your to-do list. Don’t cross anything off until you confirm the results were received on the other end. Schedule time for daydreaming. You’ll get your best answers yet from dreams on Sunday night.

Aries: Are you still running around with your head on fire? Didn’t you commit to getting that conflagration under control? That’s OK, now your brain’s all warmed up for the task of using your intuition to divine the path forward. You won’t need a weatherman to know which way.

Taurus: If you were to build your house on sand, the intensity of your desire to succeed might well turn the land to glass — a brittle, yet stable, foundation. If you were to plumb the depths of your soul, you might find sufficient heat and light to power your wildest dreams.

Gemini: It’s not easy. But you’re enjoying, as it were, the challenge of rising to the occasion and showing off your new steel-alloy spine. Give yourself a pat on your newly bionic back. Then get with the experts and wise-persons to work out a long-range strategy on Monday.

Cancer: Walk tall. You’ve stepped up to the plate, and you’re almost positive you committed to go the distance. You won’t mind facing the music once you become used to that new, syncopated beat. You might even learn to do a new dance before the cycle is finished.

Leo: Once you forgive yourself, you’ll have all compassion for others, but it begins in your heart of hearts. Judge yourself more lightly, if you can. Allow others to intercede for you with yourself. If you’ve hit bottom, you’ll having something against which to push off to go up.

Virgo: If you could only convince yourself that you don’t have to understand, you just have to give yourself up to the moment entirely. Sure, Zen koans are tough, but doing without this piece of wisdom won’t make the journey forward more joyful. Find your inner rhythm.

Libra: Was it something you said? Was it something you ate? Was it something you left behind? By the time you remember, there’ll be something else in play in any case. Just write down everything that occurs to you as you think of it and you’ll have more peace of mind.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Are you living in a fool’s paradise? Are you blind to the limitations of reality? Good for you! It’s never too late to reclaim the immense power of pure imagination coupled to indomitable will. Ignore the Doubting Thomases, you’re on the right track and you know it.

Sagittarius: Feeling distracted? Is the past fiddling with your perceptions of the present? Don’t lock your memories away, face them down and let them have the input they crave. If you have the patience to temper your actions in the crucible of personal history, you’ll win.

Capricorn: It’s a new season. Time for you to dream the outcomes you most desire and get down to putting in the labor required to see those goals to fruition. Don’t sweat the details, right now you need a big picture painted in bold brushstrokes to get you going. Take a walk.

Aquarius: You’re aware that you’re not standing in flattering light, right? As smart as you are, you could easily find a better position to showcase your most appealing features. You may as well decide to turn on the full charm and bluster your way through — it will work.

Pisces: Let the world disintegrate a little. Watch how the pattern breaks down and use those observations to predict how larger systems would respond to the same benign neglect. Once you get the hang of these deteriorating fractals, you’ll have a useful perspective for Sunday.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

March 8-14, 2007

Heavenly Round Up: Is there a snake in the garden? Is there trouble in paradise? Or are you only all worked up over a little smoke and mirrors? It’s time to put on your thinking cap and let logic and reason have their way with you. It’s time to swim up from the murky depths and take a look around in the clear light of the air. It’s time to make a deal with your fears and your worries in order that you can leave your mind free for what’s next.

Aries: Get to work with a vengeance. Move forward with impunity. You’re on the right track, and the proof will be in the pudding soon enough. Let your intuition guide you, and let courage be your watchword. Once you’ve taken the first step, the next will come more easily.

Taurus: You’re gearing up to go into overdrive. You’ve got more on your plate than you knew when you agreed to take it on. But you have the focus, and you’ll have the support you need to see the whole thing through. Give yourself a pat on the back for the early victory. Regroup.

Gemini: Are you where you want to be? Is this what you want to be doing? You don’t have forever to change your mind. Once you get the facts marshaled, you’ll see the path before you more clearly. Use information received on the other side of the weekend with caution.

Cancer: You could frivol the time away from here to the end of the world. But you’re aware that there’s more to be gained from thinking big and acting promptly than letting go and sinking in. Concentrate on short-term objectives, and the long-term will handle themselves.

Leo: Will you rise to the challenge? Will you take on the hag that transforms herself into a princess? Will you fight the monster, and find that it was an enchanted prince all along? It’s hard to know what you’re looking at. Take time and use your intuition to get to the bottom.

Virgo: You’ve been there and you’ve survived that. You’ve done what your people would like, but you’re not sure you can go on like this. If it’s not what you want, you need to take steps to reorder the process. If you can delegate, you’ll go farther with less effort and more reward.

Libra: It comes down to the old ties. These are the ones on which you can count when the chips are down. Call on the resources of your cronies, siblings and good neighbors. You’ll have what you need to get from here to there if you can only ask for help. Wear pastels.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Is it time? Are you ready to burst whole from the flames of your own self-invention? You can take a running start if you like. It might be more advantageous than standing there waiting to see where that falling piano will land. Keep researching before you commit.

Sagittarius: You’ve seen the light; it fell through your bedroom window and woke you up. Now that you’re in a state of receptivity, what will you take in from your surroundings? What will drive you to become that which lives unrealized within you? Who will you call on for help?

Capricorn: Times like these call for long hours in bed. If you can’t sleep, read. If you can’t read, plan. You’ll get your head around what has to be in place in order for you to get to the next level of your goal set. Walk the walk proudly — you’ll find plenty who will walk alongside you.

Aquarius: Sink in and revel in the turn-around. You’ve been under some pressure from unseen sources, but that scrutiny is dissolving and receding. Now you can get back to the important tasks at hand. You’ve been planning long enough. Are you ready to get active?

Pisces: Is it mere temperament? Are you all shagged out after a long squawk? Take your vitamins and get plenty of exercise. Pull yourself out of that rich inner life, as you have more than one obligation in the exterior world. The journey becomes easier after Saturday.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!