Metro Weekly

Horoscope

August 30 - September 5, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: In the heart of all those details lies a mystery. At the bottom of the hassle resides a profound truth. Beyond the myriad necessities rests an eternal ”yes.” Give yourself to the ecstasies–but get there through your chores and obligations. Throw yourself into the non-essentials, in order to better appreciate all that you do to keep body and soul together. The triumph of the weak and the victory of the incapable points the way to new definitions and interpretations.

Aries: What you see and what you get turn out not to be the same thing. Your desires undergo a sea change as they rise to the surface of your consciousness. Your beliefs are augmented by the radical reinterpretation thrust upon you by Saturday. Witness events.

Taurus: If it were easy, the satisfaction would be lessened. You had no idea it would be so very difficult, but you have a community upon whom you can count. You have a grand design that holds up under unforeseen stresses and pressures. Use your patience to win your way.

Gemini: All that culmination had to have a denouement buried in it somewhere. You’ve found the slope down and the path away from the heart of all that ordered sound and fury. You’ve stopped looking for meaning—now you only want a solution. Use your information access.

Cancer: Are all your heart’s desires thrown back in your face? Are you being mocked by the ineffable? As a matter of fact, you need to reframe until you can find the good, celebrate the serendipitous and release your expectations so that the real blessings may manifest Monday.

Leo: You’ve been through more than you can remember, more than you care to think of–and yet you know you’re only gearing up for rest that’s yet to come. Rally your troops and marshal your forces. You’re headed back to the front of the line, and you’ve got what it takes.

Virgo: Is it a radical transformation? Is it a subtle shift in perspective? Is it the inevitable out come of so many tangled threads bound together? Give it up for the great Cosmic Yes and get on with the new opportunities you’ve got on your plate. Ask a Pisces for directions.

Libra: It’s been touch and go. It’s been up and down. It’s been neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring. Usually, you prefer that life isn’t handed to you predefined and shrink-wrapped; now you want some boundaries defined, rules enforced. You’ll be good and bad cop alike.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Call ’em in the air. Call ’em like you see ’em. Call back promptly. Get the word out, and be as honest, direct and effective as you wanna’ be. It’s time to step up to the plate and make good on your intimations of capability. Give your all and make your name all over again

Sagittarius: Are you singing in the rain? Are you too bemused to come in out of the inter-personal showers and storms falling and raging all around? Shake the sparkles from your hair and rub the fairy dust from your eyes. It’s time to get down to brass tacks and make good.

Capricorn: You’ve worked till you dropped. You’ve labored and slaved and pressed and gone up the road and down the road carrying more water than Gunga Din. It may be time to pass the baton and let this last be your stretch of the relay. Can you relax, slow down, kick back?

Aquarius: This is it. This could be the big time. You’ll want to meditate on how you require your dearest wishes to manifest—carelessness now will only bring regrets at the end of the rainbow. Stay focused, but loose. Stay calm, but energized. Stay late, but help clear up.

Pisces: You’ve seen the heart of darkness—and it was only a soul overwhelmed by the many little tasks and actions that add up to a finished reality. You won’t give in to the easy way out. You won’t put by your hopes and aspirations. You have too much at stake on Saturday.

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Horoscope

August 16-22, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: They do it with smoke and mirrors — or that’s what you hope to prove with all your extra efforts searching for the man behind the curtain you’re supposed to be ignoring. What if these are real, if miniature, miracles? What if there is a safe and easy way out that anyone could use? What if all you had to do was open yourself to the myriad possibilities vectoring off into infinity all around you? It might be easier than you can suppose to achieve your heart’s desire.

Aries: Look, and look well, but don’t touch. There’s some trouble associated with the matter, though it’s no end fascinating and requires that your bravery be in abstaining and your courage in preventing others from doing the same stupid thing. Let a game give you direction.

Taurus: It’s not the end of the world, but you can’t understand how everything was simple right up to the point that it got hopelessly complicated. You have the patience to undo that which ought not to have been done. The question is, do you have the time? Wear periwinkle.

Gemini: You could go on forever, and will at the least provocation. Somehow, you know that you’re in the right—even though you haven’t figured out how to prove it conclusively. If you decide to go for the compromise, you might be surprised at the augmentation of your status.

Cancer: Nothing’s easy, though you were sure you were promised smooth sailing. But there’s no weather witch who can control your interior climate—not even yourself. Give yourself to a hurricane season within. Live to find the assessing eye. Live to see what the storm brings.

Leo: You’re walking tall, but you’re not sure that anyone can see you from those odd vantage points. You’re not losing an audience; you’re gaining a fresh perspective on solitude. It comes in handy, because there isn’t much more of that scarce commodity coming up for a while.

Virgo: What would you see if you lifted your eyes from the precarious load you’re pushing in front of you everywhere that you go? What would happen if you abandoned the intent and went for the immeasurable freedoms just beyond the line of the horizon? Break for it Monday.

Libra: If you’re all that sensible, you’ll just keep your mouth shut and let the chips fall where they may. If you’re all that smart, you’ll leave it to others to figure out what happened whilst you stay productive and well out of the center of the fray. If not, batten down the hatches.

Scorpio: It’s one of those time and tide things: you can’t control it and you’ll just have to wait for the favorable conditions your enterprise requires from the start. Since you’re cooling your heels, exhibit some of that famous compassion and ease the suffering of those around you.

Sagittarius: It’s more fun than you’d expected. It’s more fun than you’ll ever admit to anyone but your pillow. It’s the kind of project that only a fiend like yourself can truly appreciate. Give your best and you’ll have the satisfaction of watching success bloom before Christmas.

Capricorn: You can look both ways before you cross, but you might also shift your vantage point so that you can see oncoming on at least two of the three possible axes in play. If not, then let go of caution and go with streaming hair and eyes fully on the lap of intuition.

Aquarius: You’re going to have to sing for this version of supper. You agreed to play, and now you’re being held to playing by rules that others know better than you do yourself. It’s not easy being the puppet instead of the puppet master. Don’t run off with any jack asses.

Pisces: Find the good and you’ll be the one leading the charge. It’s not your usual position, but sometimes the natural order needs shaking up in order to reveal it’s continual evolution and it’s endless array of options. Share your optimism and give as good as you get on Friday.

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Horoscope

July 9-15, 2007

Heavenly Round Up: You’re lying in the bed you made and you wonder why it’s not a more restful arrangement. Happily, you have more than two clues to rub together and the more you focus on how things could be better or different, the more true those aspirations can become. Use your charisma to smooth over the rough edges of the things you’ve left undone. Use your sincerity to clean up after the things you’ve already done. There’s chaos, and light alike, at the end of the tunnel. Dance ’til dawn.

Aries: You’re all that, but you can’t help wondering if it isn’t too much sometimes. If you could only become more anonymous. Will you resist the urge to try blending in? Will you nurture that blaze of glory in case it’s something you need for later? Follow your impulse.

Taurus: You want what you want, and since you don’t want it all that often, it’s not out of line to want it now. But there are misunderstandings, delays, and just plain ball dropping. In the end, you’ll get something for all of this nothing—and the delay will prove to be an asset.

Gemini: Stand tall. Stand proud. Stand at the back and try to blend in. There’s chaos under heaven and the situation is excellent, but you don’t want to draw attention to yourself until the folks upstream have worked out their differences. Keep your nose clean, your eyes shut.

Cancer: The great symphony of life seems to have lost your reservations. You’re standing in the lobby of your own soul, trying to catch those deathless strains playing in the distance. You’re not the Little Match Girl—get back in the game and demand the satisfaction you want.

Leo: All those chickens are coming home to roost. Is the hen house refurbished yet? You’ve got the materials in for making it all good and fox-tight—but did you follow through? You have a second chance this very cycle to make amends and make good. You’ll make the right choice.

Virgo: Whether the weather breaks or not, you’re ready for the worst the season can bring. Surprisingly, some of your preparation will have been in vain. You have more on the ball than you counted on — and more folks in your corner than you can count, period. Wear stripes.

Libra: It’s not as hard as you’d feared. It may not be as fulfilling as you’d always dreamed. You’ve closed a door so that you can open an entire vista on the world you’d like to share. Grow your dreams with the fertilizer of rest, right eating habits and plenty of leisure activity.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You’re sliding backwards as you struggle forward. You’re losing the ground you’d thought you’d gained, but it’s not you that’s moving backward. Don’t hold yourself culpable for the impossible. It may not be your dream, but you can make it come true if you want to.

Sagittarius: Since neither the exterior of your current lifestyle nor your present private ruminations matches what it is that folks perceive in your actions, you have a decision to make. Will you match your actions to words? Will you let it be? Will you cut bait or fish?

Capricorn: There are unsuspected dimensions of possibility unfolding in your soul. You had no idea, the depths have been unplumbed for so long. You get to choose what happens next. If you like, you can stay and follow the path you’ve been on. Or you can go way off-road now.

Aquarius: Look around you. If this isn’t what you want to see, you have yourself to take in hand in order to make good on your aspirations. The responsibility of free will is as much a pain in the ass as it is a tarnished virtue. Polish it up, the shine will reflect the unexpected.

Pisces: Heaven help you, the heavens will help you. Fate, destiny, whatever—it’s on your side. You can have it anyway you want it. Only, watch the price tag dangling at the back of your latest emotional investment. It may be more than you really want to pay. Investigate.

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Horoscope

August 2-8, 2007

Heavenly Round-Up: If God’s in Her heaven and all’s right with the world, why are you standing there with that look on your face? It’s not as easy as you’d hoped. It’s taking longer than you’d thought. Tolls, taxes and surcharges are taking you by surprise. Add up your victories and you’ll find that you’re still breaking even, or even doing better than that. Yet you’re behind schedule and your early investments are not turning the values you’d expected. Reformulate to widen the margin.

Aries: It’s a long, long trail a windin’, and you’ve been riding herd on this concept for longer than you’d care to remember. It’s a challenge still. It’s been an adventure most of the way. But will you get the pay off of your dreams? Will you conquer all and take the stage in glory?

Taurus: Your chickens are coming home to roost, and not a minute too soon. You’ll have to let some of your potential move into the manifest (and then some) to pull off this next feat of long-range, hard-core, no-holds-barred life planning. Will you grow up to coach others? Play.

Gemini: Stuck in the mire? Bogged down by reality, and all its myriad limitations? It’s not easy being light-hearted when you’re up against the wall and facing down the challenge of getting through the real world with your hopes and aspirations all in one piece. Travel gently.

Cancer: It walks, talks and poops like a duck—but what about the scale? If that’s a duck, it’s the Trojan Duck. Give yourself props for recognizing the anomaly long before those around you. When you get done playing Cassandra on the walls, come on down and share strategy.

Leo: It’s an uphill row to hoe, and when you get there, you’ll find you’ve garnered the attention of those who would love to make your daily life tougher and more rewarding all at once. Will you accept the accolades—and the responsibility? Will you duck and run for cover?

Virgo: You’re all that, saying so right now might put you in the way of having to go the distance and substantiate your claim. You remember the story of Rumpelstiltskin, right? Spin straw into gold; make love not war; try, try again. You’ll get your reward sooner than thought.

Libra: You didn’t come here to argue, but you’re not going to back down. Not only is it a matter of principle; it’s also a matter of self preservation. You weren’t misled, exactly. But the bottom line is not a pretty sight, and you weren’t prepared. Leave early, stay late, learn more.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: It’s not time to be a superhero. It’s time to be super at the support roles in life. You can be the girlfriend, or the ward, or the faithful cabbie–and all of these will give you the scope you crave for expressing your wiles and practicing subterfuges—and for a good cause.

Sagittarius: You’re on the go, but you’re not going anywhere in a hurry. It’s not your desire, it’s the terrain. You’re in good shape for the challenge, but you won’t make it easier by complaining. And you won’t make others love you more deeply with personal martyrdom.

Capricorn: How do you know when you’re ready? How do you know when the next cycle’s kicked in and all the rules have been upgraded to match your acquired levels of long-term competence? Take a good look around. You’ll see the world is more than ready right now.

Aquarius: You’re not one to quibble, but what started as a good idea: good for the neighbor-hood, good for your ambitions, good for the common weal—may have grown in the dark into something utterly more and utterly beyond your control. Whither goest, Dr. Frankenstein?

Pisces: Surprise! It’s taking longer than you felt it would. It’s exceeding your projections on almost every front. It’s like a rabbit that grew, slowly, into an elephant. Do you enjoy the many privileges conferred on you by this rarity? Do you ride your new acquisition to work?

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!