Metro Weekly

Horoscope

November 27-December 3, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re in the trenches, but blue skies are overhead. You’re with difficult people, but your best friends are on speed-dial. You’re conjoined to a feeling of anomie, but you’re doing better than you can ever remember. It’s all good. You have the needed tools to make the most of your situation — just don’t fall into the trap of self-pity and martyrdom. Stand up for your right to have a pleasant experience. Stand up for your right to be your best self.

Aries: Fun! It’s still not illegal, so now’s the time to focus on getting your fix of flat-out good times. However, take care of your obligations before you consign yourself to the revelries. Once you’re in the clear, the sky’s the limit. Wear wool for warmth, strength.

Taurus: Since you can’t avoid the intensity, you certainly can try to contain it — or control it. Reality is what you make of it. If at first you don’t knock ’em dead, don’t worry: You have more than one course planned and you’re the best at follow-up and persistence. Center.

Gemini: ‘Tis the season to be flexible, amenable and (if at all possible) useful. You’ve got what it takes to cover yourself with honor in a surprise flanking move that dazzles your supporters and leaves your detractors gnashing their teeth. Go twice Friday.

Cancer: You used to have compassion for all humanity, then you got to know them better. Will you let the chips fall where they may? Will you intervene, as you have the perceptual ability to see the trouble coming and the will to head it off? Feel it.

Leo: You could be a bombastic bore. You could be the life of the party. You could be the first to leave, or the one on the couch in the morning. It’s your call. You may wish to honor your best self with bringing cheer and leaving extra as a hostess gift. Leave early.

Virgo: Was it something you ate? Was it something someone said? Was it the timing? You could post-mortem this from here ’til hell wouldn’t have it again, but sometimes it is what it is. Don’t fret. You have the world before you, and a silver lining in the wings. Let go.

Libra: You can have what you want, but there will be a price tag attached. Is it within your current means? Would you be willing to put your soul in hock to get from here to there? Don’t be too eager to forfeit the present for never-never to come. Loosen up.

Scorpio: Consideration will take you but so far. You may also be required to participate in a whole-hearted manner. Let a smile be your umbrella, and a positive attitude can provide you shelter from the cold of the times. Listen to the cranky Capricorn Friday.

Sagittarius: Consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but it helps when you’re trying to get the timing right. If you can’t take responsibility for getting from one end of the hour to the next, designate someone better-grounded to the task. Rejoice Sunday.

Capricorn: You’ve had better, there’s no question. But you’d do well to honor the effort on the part of those who have gone out of their way to make you so comfortable. Share your happiest memories without editing and you’ll find an unexpected wonderland. Relax.

Aquarius: It isn’t beyond the realm of possibility, though it wasn’t on your radar. It isn’t a miracle in the strictest sense of the word. But there’s something going on here so far beyond your expectations as to make your heart sing and your spine tingle. Penetrate.

Pisces: Wherever you go, there you are. Will you jump in and tell your stories? Will you hide in the kitchen and help with the dishes? Will you escape early to the most diametrically opposed environment you can locate? You have more choices than you can imagine. Commit.

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Horoscope

November 20-26, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: Once upon a time, you were ready to get deep into the nitty gritty and do your damnedest to see justice and mercy applied equally. When did everything get so out of sync with your intentions? When did you lose control of your own perspective? When did you decide the whole world was at fault, and you blameless? If you look within, will you be shocked into catatonia by what you find? Will you be lost in the buried wonders of your psyche? Decide.

Aries: It’s not on you to handle every last little thing. But it’s also not your business to decide to let it all swing in the breeze and the devil take the hindermost. You’re much more capable than your average bear. Could you also become more compassionate? Consult Capricorn.

Taurus: You’ve got a grip on things; but they have a hammerlock on you. Will you wrestle your conscience to the ground and shake it like a terrier with a fresh rat? Will you moo obsequies in desolation? You have more choices, and more backbone than that. Listen carefully.

Gemini: Get your hands dirty. Throw yourself into your necessary endeavors with good grace and lots of humor. You can’t make others do it, or refrain from doing; but you can set a damned good example. At the end of the day, you know you want to. Try again.

Cancer: Simplicity has its merits, but you’ve been complicating an already complicated situation. Now you’re the proverbial kitten in the archetypal snarl of yarn. Use your claws to slash your way free from the illusion of trapped powerlessness. Offense is the best defense.

Leo: What you desire may be out of reach. What fulfills you may be more illusory than a mirage in the desert. Free your heart of extraneous, outmoded, ego-driven matter. Soon you’ll see a shining, single path that may lead to great victory. Rejoice with an Aries.

Virgo: Certainly it’s not your baby. But you agreed to look after things whilst those responsible were away. Now it’s lots more than you signed up for and there’s all manner of waste matter interacting with the fan. Face the music, win accolades and respect. Spend a penny.

Libra: Cynicism may be warranted, but that doesn’t make it attractive-and it doesn’t go with your dimples at all. Let go and let the powers that be have their turn at running the show. Once you don’t have to judge it, you may be able to enjoy it (just a little). Engage.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: It’s probably not your turn anymore, but you haven’t finished what you started and you hardly ever back away when you’ve promised to stay put. Let your determination have free rein and you’ll see rewards even you never anticipated. Wear white shoes.

Sagittarius: There’s a gaping chasm at your feet where the floor used to be. Will you take the dare? You could rappel down into the chthonic unknown. You could leap heroically across. Or you could stand there whining and whimpering. Choose again on Saturday.

Capricorn: Sincerity will take you further than you’d imagined. Complacency will betray you at every turn. If you’re not ready to change, the world will mutate beyond recognition all around you. If you can lean into the future with abandon, you’ll be rewarded. Reboot.

Aquarius: Heaven helps those who lend a hand to smooth the narrow path for the less able. This is your chance to show what you’re made of and to prove your mettle. Don’t rest on your laurels, you have too much to do to make your gratitude plain. Give thanks.

Pisces: You came, you saw, you sat down to consider at length. You still haven’t made up your heart, but you have a good idea of what’s at stake and who might be a valuable resource. Plug in those missing links by asking around freely. You’ll know the truth by Monday.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

November 13-19, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: It was beautiful, alluring and full of all the deep promises that only forever can carry out. Sudden eruptions have sent you back to the drawing board of your psyche to decide if you can live with the choice you made, or if you need to choose anew. Acting in haste may cause you to repent in leisure. Delaying your choice indefinitely can only breed bitterness for the decision and contempt for yourself. Do what you must to make yourself more whole.

Aries: You can talk out of both sides of your mouth at once, if necessary. You can explode with anger in righteousness — more comfortable, but still not always optimal. You can reposition yourself for victory by deciding it’s high time to leave the tent and get doing.

Taurus: So much to choose from, and so little time. So much you want for the long run, and so much lacking in the here and now. So much to do, and so few resources not already allocated. Find the good and take a giant step in the right direction.

Gemini: You can’t help it if you’re smarter than your average bear. You’re not your brother’s keeper — or anyone else’s for that matter. You could still be a contender, if you can only bend the rules a little further. If you have to, go ahead. Consider carefully.

Cancer: It doesn’t have to be a look-but-don’t-touch situation. It doesn’t have to be a matter of letting go in order to receive. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world as you know it. But it could still be a brand new day — if you have the huevos to let go.

Leo: Once upon a time, you were the answer to the question. You were the solution to the equation. You were the sprinkles on top. It wasn’t even all that long ago. But now duty calls, and it’s a loud, shrill voice that won’t be put off. Answer with your heart.

Virgo: It’s one of those come-to-Jesus moments. It’s one of those crossroads of necessity. It’s one of those ring-pass-not situations. And you’re ready enough for change that you don’t care to stand around steeping in nostalgia. Reach with both hands Monday.

Libra: Call ’em like you see ’em. There’s no honor in trying to please all of the people all of the time. And realistically, it just can’t be done. Don’t compromise. You have too much to gain, and even more to lose if you let your integrity slip a millimeter too far.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: How does it feel? You’ll recover the ground you’ve lost. You’ll be surprised when you’d thought you were too world-weary, jaded and cynical for anything new to crawl into the sun. Gird up your loins; you’ll need the buffer to do it just right. Reflect.

Sagittarius: It looks like a duck, walks like a duck and leaves some seriously messy droppings in its wake. Make the most of the bonus guano, spread it around wherever you need to fill the cracks, glue the pieces or even gum up the works. Breathe freely on Friday.

Capricorn: It might not be what you came for. It might not even be what you wanted. But it could very well be the solution to problems you didn’t even know you had. Keep your mind open and your strategic responses nimble and you’ll find the other side of the rainbow.

Aquarius: You still have it, and you can prove it in spades. You’re still all that, whether your current valuing on the open market reflects this truth or not. Do you want to brood infinitely about the myriad shortcomings in your actions and the world around? No?

Pisces: It is what it is, and there’s no one who knows that better than you. So go with the flow, and you’ll find not just rest and relaxation, but rejuvenation and refreshed perspective. When it’s time to get back in the fray you’ll be in the front lines with a will!

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

November 6-12, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: What a long, strange trip it will have been — but that’s after lots of hindsight. In the meantime, there’s all kinds of rushing around and shaking things up and getting ‘er done. Start with idealism, and lots of it. Add experiential grounding and temper the whole with plenty of faith and readiness to pitch in. Now you might be on the right road to making the most of what is as flawed as it is inevitable. Give peace a chance on Saturday night.

Aries: You came, you saw, you wanted to know if you could get it in another color. You won’t have buyer’s remorse if you can remember to stay picky. Look for the tiny flaws which might develop into gaping chasms. Look for the quality of crafting, both top and bottom. Listen on Sunday.

Taurus: It’s not your fault, there was nothing particular you might have done, or done differently, or refrained from doing to change the essential nature of what occurred. You’re still pulling your weight, but you might have a different trajectory from here on out. Cry with Pisces.

Gemini: How can you keep from singing? You may not have it the way you want it this second. You may not have it with bells on. You may not have it in pristine condition. But you still have breath in your body and all your systems are go. So celebrate your reality based ascendancy with gusto.

Cancer: Look around in wonder. Keep your spirits up with soul-searching conversations, long walks and reasonable dining expectations. It wasn’t a miracle that got you where you are today. But it might take a miracle to keep you from moving forward. Trust in your vision unreservedly.

Leo: Whom the Gods would support, first they overburden. You don’t have to sink under the weight of your pre-existing commitments, but you might if you don’t get rid of the excess baggage you’ve been toting around. Let go of the garbage, and you’ll find you have wings with which to fly.

Virgo: Sing in the beautiful voice with which you’ve been gifted. Dance with the wonderful body in which you are housed. Pray with the marvelous soul imbuing you with light at every turn. There’s so much for which you need to be thankful. Use your graciousness on Friday.

Libra: It could be more fun, but you don’t remember what’s missing. Your partial amnesia keeps you cheerful and active. Do you really want to rub your own nose in all that might be less than perfect? Do you really want to concentrate on what can’t be helped or mended in reality?

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Funny how loudly some things cry out, although they have no voice. Use your special skills of discernment to determine your next (and best of all possible) courses of action. You can still be anything you like, but you’ll have to admit you’d really like it if you got it.

Sagittarius: Throw yourself into your inspiration with all the innocence and enthusiasm you can muster. It might not be perfect from the get-go, but you can run sweep on the thing once it’s up and running. Stop procrastinating and start producing; you won’t be the only one to notice.

Capricorn: Since when is the whole of existence all about you? Obviously, there have been some stumbling blocks, but they were nothing beyond your range of coping. If it were easy, you would be even less satisfied. Let go of desire for perfection. Concentrate on being present.

Aquarius: If you could turn the dial to 11, the message might come in a little more loudly and clearly. Really, you have the tools at hand to run the assessment necessary to evaluate and proceed with all due alacrity. It’s time to get off your thumbs and get on with the future.

Pisces: It’s a beautiful day somewhere in the world. It’s a perfect moment in lives everywhere. It’s a peerless point in the continuum of time and space-and an irreplaceable one at that. Jump into the joy and splash around a little. Your dreams will provide practical guidance.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!