Metro Weekly

Horoscope

January 1-7, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: You want to be good, but you’re dreading the dreary and grim circumstances that wreath appropriate behavior patterns. Resolve to be firm in your resolutions, but don’t forget to resolve to have affordable, calorie-free fun as a chaser. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and allow yourself to choose to do your utmost with a will and no mealy-mouthed whining. Once you’ve got your designated targets in your sights, keep a steady hand at the tiller with moderation in all things. This, of course, includes all forms of moderation!

Aries: You’re ready for the hard hits in the new year. You don’t expect a free pass, and you’re not afraid to work for what you want and need. In addition, you have a fresh vision of the way you want your future to take shape. Celebrate early victories.

Taurus: You can see what needs to be done, and you have the tools at hand. You may not be the most popular person at the office, but you’re probably the most prepared. Is it worth your while to exert yourself to make an indelible imprint on the new year-

Gemini: Call ’em like you see ’em. Call ’em in the air. Call ’em before they’re fully awake. You can take the worm home if you make the effort to be the early bird. You can get more from every moment by focusing. Who knew it was as easy as that-

Cancer: You can be a part of the solution, but it might take keeping your lip zipped. You perceive more than those around you, and it’s not easy to not over-share. You mean well, but acts may trump faith this cycle. Use compassion to get the message out.

Leo: If it were too easy, you wouldn’t appreciate it. And you wouldn’t be appreciated properly for your contribution to the solution. You’re good to go for the long haul, and you can back the dark horse with impunity, since you have the courage of your convictions.

Virgo: Give yourself a pat on the back. There’s lots to do, but you prepared properly and you’ve got an ace in the hole. In addition to all that, you’re at a biorhythmic peak for attractiveness, if you’ll only let your charisma out of its cage to shine for all it’s worth.

Libra: What you want and what you can have may become separated by a tiny choice that turns into a gaping chasm. It’s not something you’ll do on purpose, so don’t beat yourself up when the evidence of the trial comes to light. Call an Aquarius for better perspective.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You can remember when, but you still have to live in the present. Wrap yourself in your hopes and tie yourself securely in your commitments to the present. You’ll get through this grey patch by giving yourself enough rope to make macramé plant hangers. Give generously.

Sagittarius: You can see the big picture better than anyone. You can grasp the essentials before others have read the brief. You can take action before events overtake you. So why are you sitting in the corner sulking- Get over it and make an effort to help the less fortunate.

Capricorn: Once upon a time you were going to live happily ever after. That time can be now, but you still have a lot of work to do to make your future a garden of delights. Your faith in the present translates into success in all you do for this new year.

Aquarius: Let your inner light shine with a vengeance. You have the breadth of vision to take the lemons in front of you and turn them into lemonade. You could still be a contender if you only wanted to get back into serious training. Tip off a Gemini Monday.

Pisces: Walking the talk may be boring, but it’s not as difficult as you’d been led to believe. Give yourself a pat on the back for braving the chill business climate to get her done. Rely on your larger community to give you an unexpected boost when you need it most.

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Horoscope

December 18-24, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: A magnet pulls you to your own hearth and home. Regardless of your obligations, do-lists and social engagements there’s just no place like home. But should you choose to curl up in your shell, you may find yourself brooding over imperfections in the infrastructure and flaws in the presentation. What a conundrum! Challenge yourself to make merry outside your usual comfort levels. Do more, do other, do new. It’s time you brought yourself into the promise of the season with your whole heart.

Aries: If it were easy, you wouldn’t want to be a part of the process. If it were simple, it wouldn’t keep your complex mind engaged. If it were less than what it is, so would you be. Step up to the plate and make yourself proud of who you are. Listen.

Taurus: You’ve got that all-over glow, which goes with everything. You’re ready to have a better time-starting right now and extending into the future full-throttle. You’re prepared to do what needs doing if it means putting your objectives within reach. Call Sunday.

Gemini: You’ve seen the future, and it has a lot more detail-oriented work than you’d been planning on. Now is the time to get ready to mind your Ps and Qs, dot your ”i”s and cross your ”t”s. Bring your game face, but only if you can produce a jolly one. Hope.

Cancer: If you decide to go off the reservation and take a walk on the wild side, you may be delighted with the new friends you make and the company you keep along the way. It could be all that, minus your fearful prognostications. Dance with a Pisces.

Leo: You’re no sissy, but you’re afraid of that dark place in your heart. Find your courage and light a single candle as you make your way to the center of your labyrinth. Within, you’ll discover new forms of compassion and unexpected founts of joy. Wear red Tuesday.

Virgo: Sing with your whole self to release the latent pleasure you might take if you weren’t so preoccupied with fulfilling your preconceptions. Recalibrate your attentions and rediscover what it is you like best about the most wonderful time of the year.

Libra: Discipline will get you from here to there, if that’s the route you want to take. But you might use a more friendly form of incentive and get where you need to be just as quickly. Really, give the carrot another try. It won’t be the only good thing if you can commit. Laugh.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: It’s not the company you keep; it’s the ones you let get away that weigh on your soul. Even so, you have more potential in your little pinky and more actual capability in your possession than you can readily believe. Open yourself to the possibilities and share.

Sagittarius: You’re all charged up and you have more than your fair share of holiday cheer to spread around. Go easy on the making of merry; you don’t want to be burned out before you even get to the main event. Spend time with loved ones to even yourself out.

Capricorn: You can accomplish anything you want. You can maneuver into any desirable position. You can include the ones who will contribute the most. You have the drive. You have the flexibility. You have the charisma. Now go believe in yourself to make it all true.

Aquarius: You’ve seen it all before, as in a dream or a flashback. You can’t change the full trajectory of events, but you can interpret them creatively to find meaning which will make the experience more useful and more beautiful to everyone involved. Use the force for good.

Pisces: Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone were having a good time. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the beauty in your heart could be spread at plague-speed all over the world? Each smile, each wave, each cheerful word may be a catalyst toward a monumental happily-ever-after. Go there.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

December 11-17, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: Take a good, hard look at where you are and where you want to be when the dust settles. There’s been chaos under Heaven, but you can still choose how you want to play the hand you’ve been dealt and whether you have enough to share in good conscience and good faith. Since you’re all geared up, you might as well see if you can’t get a little extra done with all that unchanneled energy. Is it time to rearrange the furniture?

Aries: You’ve been here before, and you’ve been less than thrilled with what you’ve found. Will you let it control you, or are you big enough to keep on growing past the benchmarks of dissatisfaction? You’ll hear more on Monday about the matter at hand. Breathe.

Taurus: You can’t remember when you were offered more fun, or when it came at a more inconvenient time. If you take advantage of the frivolity, plan to pay it sideways, so that those around you also have a shot at loosening up and finding a modicum of holiday cheer.

Gemini: You have an excellent memory — some of the time anyway. It’s tied to your desire to be connected. When you want to escape, you simply let the surplus data flow through you without accreting to your synapses. Is amnesia what you want in your stocking?

Cancer: Pretend Santa is real. Pretend there will be snow, all the presents will be wrapped (and will have arrived), everyone will get what they most desire, and peace on earth will suffuse all the nations. Because if enough people pretend, it might become real.

Leo: You can change the atmosphere around you from grim to groovy with a few well-placed words and the occasional flash of your charismatic smile. You can become a part of the solution, and bring lightness of heart to those whose lives you touch. Give it a try.

Virgo: You’ve made your lists. You’ve checked them twice. You know where you’ve been naughty, and to whom you’ve been nice. You’re ready to share the spirit of the season, to light the candles, to say a blessing in your heart. Give with both hands open.

Libra: It’s not always easy being Mr. Nice Guy. But you have the wherewithal, and though you know where the bodies are buried and who has the shovel, now is the time to decorate the headstones and sing till your thorax is warm. Toast absent companions on Sunday.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You can’t believe the waste and fuss flowing out the door. You have a hard time compassing the excuses for less than stellar accomplishments. Will you play the Grinch this year too? Will you let it go and pour forth the compassion of the forgiven?

Sagittarius: You looked, but you couldn’t not touch. Now you may be in for the added expenses you hadn’t anticipated and weren’t accounting for in your budget. It’s not the end of the world, though you may choose to heed warnings more carefully in the future.

Capricorn: You’ve got a lot to prepare, and more miles left on your itinerary than old Santa himself. But you’re not counting yourself out just yet. You’ve got a long-range plan and you’re not afraid to implement it. Use your understanding to build a larger framework.

Aquarius: There may be peace on earth, but it won’t come without a price. Are you ready to chip in and add your two cents, every single time you’re asked? Give ’til it hurts, but give in a meaningful, thoughtful and premeditated way. Pay everywhere with cash.

Pisces: Joy wars with expectations to claim the greater share of your attention. You have an infinite capacity to find what there is to celebrate. Make that your gift to the world and spread the joy thickly, and right to the edges of your circles of support. Call Cancer on Friday.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

December 4-10, 2008

Heavenly Round-Up: There’s a soft spot that’s still sore — you bump it and it flares up again. You may avoid it for a while, but then you forget, and you’re right back where you started. Is there another way to deal with this vulnerability? Another solution available within your pre-existing framework? Think outside the box to keep safe that which is still within the box. You might have a piece of luck leading to your answer. You might be able to talk it out with friends.

Aries: Simplicity is all well and good, but it’s not as simple as it sounds. Strip your life down to its most basic components. Decide what you need, what you want, and what you can do without. Work your suppositions over. Do they stay the same? Should they?

Taurus: Knowing what you want, and knowing how to get from here to there are not at all the same thing. You may have to apply yourself, way outside your comfort zone. Are you up for this fresh challenge? Can you psyche yourself into being that winner?

Gemini: You’re out of your element, and you don’t mind a bit. The spotlight’s been too much with you in any case. Learn to take the backseat, quietly. You’ll gather more information by making yourself inconspicuous. Shield your glee until the timing’s just right.

Cancer: You’ve been here before. It’s not comfortable, but you know what the scene is and you’re prepared to see it through. Now is not the time to rely on the judgment of others. Now is not the time to let old behaviors guide your actions. Renew your faith.

Leo: Get earthbound. Get grounded. Get your head down, and keep your nose to the grindstone while you’re at it. You can have what you want, but there are no shortcuts in the offing. Allow yourself the luxury of desire. Promote the necessity of hope. Work it.

Virgo: Is it a sign of the times? Is it the message you’ve been waiting for? There are still more things in heaven and earth than your philosophies have dreamt of. Trust in the future, but work like a dog to make your dreams come true. Shop early, with thrift.

Libra: If you fall for the hype, you may set yourself up for disappointments on several levels. Don’t put all your eggs in the one basket. Don’t blow your paycheck on lottery tickets. Don’t take wooden nickels in change. You can have your dreams come true, just try.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: If you have a dream you’ve been deferring, you may wish to reassess your relationship to it. Is it still what you want? Is the price still acceptable? Are the ethics still in line with yours? If you can answer yes, you may be ready to move forward. Consider.

Sagittarius: Once upon a time it was a kinder, gentler world — or so you told yourself. You’re too honest to go that route anymore. Toughen up to move on with reality. Drive yourself to the top of your bent and you’ll see you can still touch the end of the rainbow.

Capricorn: Good fortune comes in clumps. You’ve had a batch of it, enough to set you to rights with yourself for some time to come. Is there enough to share? Is there any reason? Use your powers of discernment to make a meaningful choice for the future.

Aquarius: You’ve been a good sport. You’ve played by the rules. You’ve given 110 percent. Why aren’t you gaining ground? Well, there’s a spot of stagnation all around you, and you’re an island of productivity. Can you punt out of there?

Pisces: It is what it is. Can you choose it with your eyes open, now that you know? Can you trust in the unknown and give it a chance to show you the alternatives? Can you stand ignoring the options? You have choices not yet fully explored. Debate.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!