Metro Weekly

Horoscope

December 30-January 5, 2010

Heavenly Roundup: Here at the heel-end of the year, you find yourself refocused, revitalized and refreshed. You’re ready to pick up the pieces of your current state of affairs and transform them – like making beach glass into a mosaic. Are you still looking over your shoulder? It didn’t work for Orpheus and it might not work for you either. Keep your eyes set on where you’re going and don’t forget to aim high. You have the ambition, but you’ll need some technique before you’re ready to go.

Aries: You could let your disillusionment poison the well of hope on which you depend for your fundamental strength. You could let your disappointment send you back to your tent for an extended sulk. Or you could call it a lesson learned and get on with living your dream.

Taurus: Are you ready to burst onto the scene of the new year ahead? Are you ready to make your mark and leave a lasting impression on every witness? Are you ready to go the distance in refining your aesthetic expression? Buckle up; you may be in for a bumpy ride.

Gemini: Think it over before you act. Think it through before you commit. Think it in parallel to see the alternative scenarios for which you may wish to be prepared. If you take a little time now, you’ll save yourself a world of pain down the road. Wear a joyous pattern.

Cancer: You’ve been around the block on your tricycle so many times it’s a wonder you’re not permanently dizzy. What can you do to shift the pattern? How can your input change the outcomes? When will you decide to stop holding back and bring your ”A” game? Dazzle.

Leo: You weren’t asking for a miracle, just a sustaining break. You weren’t looking for a handout, just a hand up. You weren’t standing around with your thumb up your parts, though you were in a state of reflective contemplation. Make your execution match your motives.

Virgo: Are you ready to let go of the old paradigm, to abandon it, to release it to the wild? Are you wholehearted in your desire for life change at profound levels? If you can say yes to the above, then hold onto your hat. Everything will get exciting and different real soon.

Libra: Is it time? Are you there yet? Could this be the break for which you’ve been waiting? Possibly to all the preceding questions, the real source of the answer rests within you. If you’re ready, everything else will have no choice but to fall into place. The Zen of now is calling.

Scorpio: Puh-lease. You’ve had nothing but time, resources and energy to get ‘er done. You’ve had nothing but support and admiration to bolster your effectiveness. You’ve had nothing but the feedback you need the most to see you through. So stop whining and start doing.

Sagittarius: Look under the cabbage leaf. What is that? You’ve given birth in a traditional – though unorthodox ­– fashion to something new under the sun. You’ve become a catalyst for the change you most desire. You’ve become a voice for those who long to be heard. Rejoice.

Capricorn: Don’t hide from your desire. Don’t run from your ambition. Don’t deny your lust. You have a real knack, and it’s time you got down to exploiting it instead of moaning about all the dreams you have that won’t come true. Give yourself a hand for being tenacious.

Aquarius: You were right all along, and now the cat is out of the bag. Will you be detailed to the sweep crew in order to see just how effective you can be at managing the mismanagement of others? Will you have the intestinal fortitude to take up the challenge? Ask early.

Pisces: You’re the gingerbread individual, and you’re not easy to catch once you get going. Use your wiles and your craft and your elusiveness to evade capture by the mundane and the logical and the nay-sayers. Make your heart big enough to contain the whole of your dream.

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Horoscope

December 23-30, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: However hard you plan, however much you may take into account, there’s always one thing more you haven’t considered or acted on. Does this make you incompetent or sub-par? Does this make you less than you otherwise might be? No, it makes you human. Act on the assumption that it is better to be flawed and human than perfect and nonexistent. You will need to choose your strategy by Monday, but you don’t act alone. Consult with a friend over a snack.

Aries: This is not the best of all possible worlds. You don’t have the option of the best of all possible outcomes. But you do have enough perspective to choose from the realities in front of you. You also have the resources available such that you may act on your choice.

Taurus: You have seen and heard more than you might have supposed. It’s clear that others imagine you are still in the dark on certain essential points. Do you come clean and reveal your knowledge and the source? Do you play your cards close to your chest? Ask a Pisces.

Gemini: You’re walking the line. You’re making a living. You’re on auto-pilot a fair amount of the time. Is this what you really want? Is this the best you can think of? What would you have to put at risk if you were to get what really makes your head spin and your smile widen?

Cancer: You’re conflicted. You’re in a state. You’re not wholly aware of the nature of your fuss, but it may have to do with unprocessed material from your past. Are you doomed to repeat your personal history? Are you selecting that option as your default posture?

Leo: Is it better the devil you know, or would you be better served finding out what’s really behind door No. 3? You don’t have any easy answers in front of you. You don’t have any clean solutions lying around. You do have good sense and decisiveness.

Virgo: You get to choose what you do with what you have. You don’t have to make your final selection based on what others imagine would suit you best. You don’t have to listen to the whispering campaign seemingly designed to increase your dissatisfaction. Wear stripes.

Libra: It’s not all about you, but you’re still the focus of attention. You didn’t seek to lead, but others insist on following. You weren’t agitating for change, but the change is coming and you can see it from where you stand. Use your reach to enhance your grasp on Friday.

Scorpio: Why are you still standing there with that look on your face? You had plenty of warning. You even had foreboding; though it’s not as bad as you would like to paint it. Will you move on and perform the work that is in front of you to do? Call an Aries.

Sagittarius: Don’t bother running, there’s nowhere to hide. Don’t bother dissimulating, the truth is out there already. Don’t bother pretending when the reality is so much more dramatic and engaging and useful for promoting the future in all its glory. Sleep in.

Capricorn: Aren’t you the one everybody thinks is so hard-working? If so, why are you choosing to be so drastically under-employed? Granted, there’s troubled times everywhere, but you’ve got more on the ball than to let some little worldwide recession slow you down.

Aquarius: It’s your dream. It’s your ideal. It’s your method. If you want others to embrace your concept wholeheartedly, you may have to step up and set a good example. In fact, if you aren’t seen to be first in line here the whole system may collapse before it kicks in.

Pisces: It isn’t the most trying of times. More like it’s become really, really tedious. No one promised you an unending joyride. No one swore they would hang the moon to suit your view from the window. Buck up and get into manipulating reality to make ends meet.

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Horoscope

December 16-23, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: You can’t help looking ahead even as the past tugs at your shirttails. You’re focused on the yet-to-be, though that which has already passed demands your full attention – and a string of time you haven’t got anymore. How can you mediate between where you’ve been and where you want to go? How can you develop that which you hope to become in light of the baggage behind you, yet inextricably part of you? How can you not understand that the present is the key? Reflect steadily.

Aries: In the once upon a time of your own life, there’s a story you’ve told yourself again and again. Is it time to give the story a new ending? Does it need a fresh middle? Could it do with a different beginning? You’re in a position to choose. Don’t delay, make your change.

Taurus: What if you had the power to control how you earned, what you liked, where you lived and whether you were happy? What if you’re getting to be the last one to know that you have those capabilities? What if you gave up on struggling and went with determination?

Gemini: You still can, if you really want to. It’s a thing onto which you have been holding for so long, you may not remember clearly what it looks like, or what it can really do, or why you collected it in the first place. Are you brave enough to look? Can you change your mind?

Cancer: You don’t so much walk on the wild side as scuttle along the sidelines avidly observing. Can you let go of your binky long enough to find out what it would be like to shed your security and let life lead you by the hand? Dine out with an old crony on Friday to find out more.

Leo: Lift up your eyes to the hills. You will find solace in their majesty. Stare into the depths of the desert. There you will see peace in the struggle for existence. Drift into reverie as you gaze into the ocean. The message there is the timelessness of all passion and action.

Virgo: If it were easy, it wouldn’t be worth your consideration. If it were simple, you wouldn’t find yourself engaged in the process. If it were quick, it would be over before you had begun to internalize the meaning of the cycle. You demand more; you receive more. Rejoice.

Libra: You can’t let it go. You can’t put it behind you. You can’t say you won’t. Now you’ve got your ultimatums out of the way, are you ready to see what can be done? Are you ready to find out how you can grow? Are you ready to allow yourself to get out of whack to become real?

Scorpio: You’re so busy not compromising that you may be leaving the good things out with the less than perfect. Is this really what you want? Is this the best you can do for yourself? You have the capability to do and become so much more. Revisit your objectives Monday.

Sagittarius: Well, there’s the devil over there. And that way lays the deep blue sea. You’re riding toward them, bouncing around between the disagreeable horns of a wild, half-broken dilemma. Couldn’t you find yourself a more pleasant mode of transportation? Release obligation.

Capricorn: You’re as good as it gets when the chips fall where they may. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, it would be an insult to their understanding and your comprehension. You may have to restring the entirety of the project at hand, but you have the vision to do it.

Aquarius: You would if you could, but you’re not sure you ought to allow yourself to go as far as all that. This is more laudable than it is sensible. Plug your brain back in. You won’t get far without it operating at full capacity. Ask a Scorpio for the hard, cold truth.

Pisces: Whether it was what you intended or not, you’re on a kind of a roll. In fact, you’re gathering momentum, though it seems to be carrying you faster and faster uphill. Is this a miracle? Is this the power of individuation? You have more juice than you’d imagined.

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Horoscope

December 9-16, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: The seeds of change have taken root in an unexpected sector. Suddenly, what had been taken for granted is up for grabs. You’d been counting on matters that won’t bear fruit. At the same time, you’ll find other gifts waiting for you where you had thought no growth could be sustained. Were you wrong all along? Does it matter if you can still succeed on your own terms, albeit in a different quarter? Keep the wind at your back and make your decision early. Rewind.

Aries: You are as you have been. But you won’t stay that way for much longer. You are on the cusp of great change, like standing on the edge of a cliff strapped into a hang-glider rig. You have the capability to achieve much, let alone survive all – but attitude is everything.

Taurus: Ask not for whom the gift card arrives – it arrives for thee. You’ll get something in the mail that comes late, and little. But it will show up and it will be what you wanted. You can keep on complaining, or you can get off your duff and make the most of it.

Gemini: It’s too late to procrastinate any longer. You would be better served by a triage model: Figure out what you can save and work from there. You may be surprised to find a piece of your past embedded in the opportunities of the present. Will you take advantage?

Cancer: You’ve walked the talk, but you didn’t do it with a good attitude. Does this make recent events a success or a failure? Maybe there’s a middle path that allows for some of both in the living of a full and intentional life. Whom will you include now?

Leo: Wind back a few frames and look more closely. You missed something crucial, and now you need every hint and piece of hope you can locate. The answer is hidden in plain sight, in your recent past. You can get here from there. Besides patience, bring humor.

Virgo: You want what you want. You don’t want what other people believe would be best for you. You don’t want what you used to say you wanted. You don’t want to have to explain yourself anymore. You just want to have what you want. Fair enough. Play nicely.

Libra: However much gumption and grit you bring to the table, you may not be able to out-play your opponent. However much strategy and tactical awareness you apply, you may not be able to overcome the odds. However, you may receive a nice door prize.

Scorpio: Don’t sign on the dotted line. Don’t admit to anything under oath. Don’t, whatever you do, step out of character and start playing fair. You’re at your best playing for keeps. You’re at your best playing for high stakes. You’re at your best when readiest to cheat.

Sagittarius: You have been to the mountaintop. You have seen the sights. You even bought a few touristy tchotchkes. Will you apply your new perspective to your daily life? Will you bring your fantastic vision to your workaday world? You could if you were brave!

Capricorn: You’ve been hands-off for long enough. You don’t have to hold yourself back any longer. The period of probation has been completed. You have passed with flying colors and you’re ready to ascend to the dizzying heights of which you hardly dared dream.

Aquarius: Seize the day. Seize the day and hold it for ransom. Make life give you what you deserve. Take what’s owed to you and stop hanging around waiting for all that delayed expression of gratitude and honor. You may have to go underground to get there.

Pisces: Once you had a dream. Now you have a crack at making it real. Are you steady enough on your feet to handle the pressure? Are you sturdy enough in your self-confidence to bring your ”A” game from now to the final measure of time? Do you really want it?

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Horoscope

December 2-9, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: There’s a time and place for everything; this is probably neither. You’re impatient to get it all going. You’re ready to jump in with both feet. You’re hopping around like you can’t hold your water. But this isn’t your best window of opportunity. Instead of focusing on your own needs and improvements, keep an eye on what you can do for others. This is the season of giving, and your generosity will be repaid in full with interest – have no fear on that count!

Aries: Walk tall and hold your head up. You’ve been representing in the best of all possible arenas. Since you’re temporarily afflicted with virtuous conduct, you may as well make the most of it. Choose where you give carefully. Pay attention to what will help the most.

Taurus: You’re confused by the speed at which things are going (some too fast, others too slow). You dislike being confused. This may lead to less than useful knee-jerk reactions on your part. Take a deep breath, clear your head, and sing when the stress begins to build up.

Gemini: You may not have to see the forest, since you’re up close and personal with all of those trees. Resist all the well-meaning advice; they would have to walk a mile in your moccasins to know what really works. Shop early for the gifts you wish to give. Return late.

Cancer: You’re as conscientious as you are contentious. This makes for long ethical exchanges where short pleasantries may have done the job just as well. Release, relax and re-evaluate. You may find you’re not in as dire a condition as you’d been imagining. Ask Libra.

Leo: Not only is it not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome – even if you’d had advance warning. So let go of your fretting and stewing. Rather than seeking the perfect solution, look for the most viable approach. You’ll go far Sunday.

Virgo: Is this long cycle drawing to a close for you? Are you getting over getting through this last rough patch? Can you plot your course into a brand new you? Of course you can. You’ve got good enough rhythm. If you don’t want to dance, you could jump rope instead.

Libra: It’s a morass, no question. You’re in a pickle, and you don’t know how you got there. Don’t let this one sit. Procrastination has often been your friend, but not this cycle. Extricate yourself and get on with achieving forward motion while you can. Call on Friday.

Scorpio: You wouldn’t do a thing differently if you could go back and start over. Which just goes to prove how amazingly stubborn you really are! Fine, be that way. But bend over backward to make things right in the here and now. Your insight will serve you well.

Sagittarius: You’re in a hole you built yourself. You can see the top, but you’re not sure how to get out of how you got in. You could seek assistance. You could come clean. You could continue to cover up, but that really isn’t in your best interests in the long run.

Capricorn: You’re the captain of time and tide alike. You’re rolling through your ”do” lists like someone’s paying you to ”git ‘er done.” You’re as precise as you can stand to be under the circumstances. So why do you feel so becalmed by anomie? Find an honest answer soon.

Aquarius: Once upon a time you were perfect. You strove for perfection. You recognized it when you saw it around you. Now you’re beset by flaws and faced with uncontained cock-ups. It’s not how you want your life to be. What would you give to make it all work again?

Pisces: You’ve long been the queen of all you survey. You’ve long held court from the catbird seat. Your flexibility has played in your favor. Notice all the past tense work going on? It’s time to reshape, reform and recommit to what really matters. Reinvent yourself.

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!