Metro Weekly

Horoscope

June 23-29, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: The world slides into normal, churning up so much dust the outcome is uncertain for longer than the situation merits. Daily life valiantly regroups and prepares to outflank the anomalies and accidents of daily living. But the past chaos we innocently created comes home to roost like a good, persistent chicken; and events progress both suddenly and without the comfort of foreshadowing. Still, expecting the unexpected isn’t difficult in our interesting times. And there’s a freedom of response that calls on courage and imagination alike.

Aries: You’re on fire and you’re ready to make the most of this burst of opportunity. You’re all lit up and you’ve got energy to burn. You’re going to do yourself a favor if you can engage in acts of creative aggression this cycle: weeding, tai chi, volunteering, cooking.

Taurus: Is this restlessness brought on by the heat? Or is it only the shifts in barometric pressure intensified by the constant of humidity? You’ll sleep better if you get more exercise and eat a lighter dinner with fresh berries for dessert. Keep shaking your booty.

Gemini: You’re emotionally shaken, but your consciousness hasn’t yet been stirred into action. You’re between the horns of dilemma and in love with the view from right there. You’re contemplating all that is and has been, but you’re not ready to make any vows of commitment.

Cancer: It’s a wide, weird world out there. The more of it you see, the less you’re convinced you understand. You’re on the edge of a great breakthrough, but you still need that little cosmic push to send you over your personal tipping point. Fly like an eagle.

Leo: Everything’s been rendered in Technicolor and you’re having trouble adjusting your eyes to the brilliance of it all. Don’t fall back in confusion. Slip on some shades and take the time to create a place for yourself in this bright new world. Call on Tuesday.

Virgo: Was it that envelope? Was it that memo? Was it that innocuous want ad? There’s a vital piece of the code missing. There’s a clue you’ve yet to track to authenticity. There’s a pattern broken in the unraveling. You’ll find what you need in the last place you look.

Libra: Pain and pleasure march hand in hand from time to time. Is this one of those times where you’re raw and the world is abrasive? Is this concurrently one of those times where you’re alert and the world is wonderful? Reconcile the paradox for extra credit.

Scorpio: Swing from tree to tree using Tarzan’s vines and your own enhanced musculature. You’ve worked hard for your physique and ought to take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. You’re still a long, long way from your goal, so eat your Wheaties.

Sagittarius: Place yourself in an imaginary circle. Draw around you the circles of your friends and acquaintances. Admire the ripples and unexpected overlaps. You really are connected. Now find a way to harness all that linkage to your aims and ends.

Capricorn: Wisdom takes time to ripen, like a good handcrafted cheese. And like a cheese, it needs to be exposed to moldy old ideas and values to become fully expressive. Expose yourself to the slightly unclean in your environment to forward your vision.

Aquarius: The damage may be done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wipe up all the spilled milk to keep others from slipping in it. Assert your place in the community and work to clean up the mess you didn’t make. You’ll gain valuable insights after Friday night.

Pisces: What half-forgotten baby step did you take in the dark to bring you to this very nearly alternate reality? Would you make the same mistake all over again, given the chance? Don’t hang on to the error – admire the serendipity instead. Call Aries for inspiration.

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Horoscope

June 16-22, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You can if you need to, but wanting is not enough. You’ll have to stop whatever else you’re up to and put your whole focus on working your way out of your current conundrum. It’s a lot to invest in what you don’t want to be true, but you have both the strength of character and the sheer willpower to get from here to there. Keep your calendar tight and your attitude loose to make the most of the week.

Aries: You’ve been in a ”look but don’t touch” mode for long enough. Now you’ve reached the hands-on part of your life practicum. If you’re serious about your goals and ambitious for your own betterment, you’ll go the distance to see your ideals realized. Work harder.

Taurus: There’s more going on than meets the eye. You’ll have to reach out and touch someone to get the whole picture. But you may want to wash your hands before you get all touchy-feely with the world, since they’ve been anywhere and everywhere as of late.

Gemini: You’re primed to call for all hands on deck. It’s good to rally the troops. It’s good to build morale with common projects. It’s good to get everyone on the same page and pointed in the same direction. But you have to give people some room for interpretation.

Cancer: You’ve been stretching yourself, trying to get your hands all the way around the issues confronting you in the hope that you’ll be able to contain what you can grasp. This might not be a realistic assumption. You may have to release that which you wish to control.

Leo: Is it time for a hand-off? You can’t do this all yourself. You can’t do more than you are right now — but there’s more than that on the slate and it won’t be wait-listed, either. Develop your delegation skills with practice, lots of practice. Then take a fresh look around.

Virgo: You’re not the only one who’s had a hand in the proverbial cookie jar lately. Will you rat the others out to gain immunity for yourself? Will you hold your hush and let the chips fall where they may? Will you develop a distraction broad enough to cover everybody? Decide.

Libra: It’s not as though you’re looking for a handout. But you do need some help, and you’d do even better with some usable answers. What have you got to barter or trade in order to take possession of the information in question? What is this really worth to you? Call first.

Scorpio: Hand-me-downs are often more comfortable than new things. And they carry the patina of personal history — even if it’s not yours. Don’t be too proud to take those secondhand treasures and make them your own. You’ll score eclectic style points for this move.

Sagittarius: You’re handier than you know, but you still need some training in how to make the most of your skill sets. If you really want to develop your chops, you’ll even sign up for formal lessons. It’s not too late to learn this new trade. And the benefits are a real plus.

Capricorn: Hands down, you’re the person with the most to gain by finding the middle ground in this scenario. Hand up if you’re completely convinced you’ve exerted yourself to the utmost trying to find the compromise in this polarizing situation. Don’t give up before Sunday.

Aquarius: Does it seem like your hands are all thumbs lately? You’ll have to slow down and take a sharp focus if you want to get your grasp of reality back to front and center. There’s an underlying meaning to all the dropsy you’ve been going through. Pick yourself up!

Pisces: You wish you could hand over the valuables and walk away. But this time it’s intellectual, not to mention creative, property you’re being relieved of. And you’re just not okay with letting someone else take all the credit for your baby. Hold your ground steadily.

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Horoscope

June 9-15, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: There’s definitely tension in the air. It’s not just your imagination causing the hair to stand up on your arms. You’re experiencing a bona fide, Scooby-Doo grade chill of anticipation and nerves. So what are you doing about it? Are you meeting the challenge with your gear strapped on? Are you embracing meditation to put you back in touch with your still, small voice? Are you undergoing a sea change in how you present to the world, and what you share? Don’t just sit there. Act.

Aries: You’re on a roll, but you’re not sure when it started being so very steeply downhill. You’re on a tear, but you still can’t quite believe the length of the fabric in question. You’re in a bind, and it’s getting tighter as you struggle. Feel your inner James Bond Friday.

Taurus: You have the patience to wear through a pair of iron shoes walking to meet your destiny. Don’t stop in dismay now. You’re closer than you think to the end of the Yellow Brick Road, and your real adventures are just beginning. Get grounded. Get going.

Gemini: You like what you like when you like it. And you like changing your mind. It’s complicated, but not past understanding. What’s past understanding is where you go when you drive yourself as you have. You’re not made of kryptonite. Draw a breath.

Cancer: You’re in a dream where you swim through coral canyons chased by unseen shadowed monsters. You’re in a dream where the monsters turn out to be friendly tortoises come to teach you new games. You’re in a dream, and you get to choose how it goes.

Leo: Look around you. Seldom have you possessed such clarity of perception, such focus, such understanding of your vista. Grasp the big picture. Admire the many methods by which the details connect themselves to each other to form a greater whole. Step back.

Virgo: You know as much as you need to know if you’re not going to be the one in charge this time. If, on the other hand, you’re going to be running the show, then go ahead and interrogate all and sundry to your heart’s content. It’s a simple matter of definitions.

Libra: You can still back out. You can still walk away. You can still call a time out. You have so many delaying tactics and options open to you even now. Take a deep breath. Remember to exhale. Repeat the cycle. It’s time to look forward instead of back. Leave early.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Once upon a time, you were all alone. Now you’re not, though nothing’s ideal by any means. Luckily, you wouldn’t have it any other way. You love the challenge. You revel in the sweat of the struggle. You delight in all your daily battles. Sing as you reap victory.

Sagittarius: Time and tide have washed more random people up onto the shores of your consciousness. You weren’t looking for an expansion, but you don’t have any more room without one ­– and that doesn’t seem to be an alternative. Shop with a buddy for support.

Capricorn: You’re a winner, but you kind of hate the person you had to be to get what it was that you thought you wanted. Now you’re not as sure of your choices, though you loathe regret and refuse to grieve. Okay, your understanding and compassion both have deepened.

Aquarius: Pensive is as pensive does. You can think all the deep thoughts in the world, but it’s not the same as taking action and making all that knowing manifest and useful. Externals count in this round, so plan how you’ll be using your energy with foresight and contingency.

Pisces: Peace in your time; peace with honor. It’s what you want, but you may be as far out of luck as old Chamberlain was when he thought he’d achieved his ends. It’s time to put down diplomacy and start taking your targets by any means necessary. Call again.

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Horoscope

June 2-8, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re a dancing, shooting star. You’re a dolphin in a merry riptide. You’re an eagle soaring on a lofting, gale force wind. If you’re the right one at the right time, an otherwise hostile environment may suit you just fine. Look around to see what you can see about making the most of a situation that might not sit well with just anyone. The seeds of your plans laid now will germinate and sprout with abundance. Your challenge is follow through. Stay focused Saturday.

Aries: You’re abuzz with the possibilities. You had no idea your neighborhood had so much going on just under the surface. You don’t have to travel to exotic locations; your home just made the list of places where the exotic is a mere commonplace. Learn with a buddy.

Taurus: You’re working hard, and you’re watching the monies fall through a little hole in your budgetary pocket. How will you mend your condition? How will you manage the flow of your resources such that you have them available when needed? Wear cotton.

Gemini: You can’t hold still. You can’t keep your hands to yourself. You can’t buckle down and git ‘er done. But you can do eight things at once — and see them all done to performance expectations. You can keep your eye on the ball and a half dozen other things. Celebrate.

Cancer: You’re walking the line, but you’re not sure how you got there or why it’s important. Your sense of dissociation pulls you from your experience of the present and places you squarely in the land of postulation. Bring more juice to being here now. Call on Thursday.

Leo: You have enough to do at work. You have more than enough to do just to keep up. And now there’s some random educational module, just the thing you didn’t really want this minute. Bear up, there are some great connections to be made this summer. Smile.

Virgo: Are you or aren’t you? There’s not a lot of room for a gray area of perception. You need to pick a side and work it. Take a deep breath and make your choice. No, there aren’t any really shiny options in front of you. But some have tons of potential, literally.

Libra: Fortune favors the brave, so gird up your loins and get on with your quest. Yes, you were hoping to relax. Yes, you were sure it wasn’t still your turn. Yes, in a sense you were right. Happily, the universe is neither fair nor under mortal constraints. Enjoy.

Scorpio: Walking the talk has left your throat hoarse and your feet sore. But if you look around, you’ll see you’ve made some real progress. You’re going the distance, albeit one step at a time. But it worked for Mao, and it can work for you. Think about the long term.

Sagittarius: You’re not a bird. You’re not a plane. And you’re not a caped superhero, either. If you have to rescue someone, take a little energy and time out of your schedule to rescue your own self. It sets a good example and it will ease up the pressure tremendously.

Capricorn: Quality beats quantity every time. You have this engraved on your soul and you’re not wrong. So go ahead and uphold your standards. Go ahead and take enough time to do what needs doing with your personal benchmarks well to the fore. Ask a Taurus.

Aquarius: You’re busy, busy, busy. But that’s what time it is. You’re not too busy to flirt. You’re not too busy to skip the shopping trip. You’re not too busy to hang with your posse. So you don’t have to allow yourself that swamped feeling. Just breathe, and pace yourself.

Pisces: Having been around the block on your tricycle as many times as all that makes you a cottage-industry expert. Will you post a clip to YouTube? Will you start blogging for Huffington Post? Will you hit the motivational speaking circuit with what you know? Share!

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!