Metro Weekly

Horoscope

July 28-August 3, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re all alone in the dark; what do you do? Do you shout for attention? Do you grope around to familiarize yourself with your environment and develop an exit strategy? Do you try to reason your way through the darkness? Do you sit quietly and enjoy the solitude? Any of these – and combinations of these – are all good answers. So don’t despair. Don’t feel like you’re out of choices. Don’t let go of hope and don’t give up on helping equally lost others find theirs.

Aries: You could be like all the newly enlightened. You could be the flame blown out. What would this mean in daily life? Would you become invisible? Would you become static from stillness? Would you be uninspired in all that eternal calm? Are these just ego fears? Reflect.

Taurus: You’ve been trying to banish certain elements of your early history from the psychological tidal pool of mental health in which you choose to wade. Is your rigorous exclusion worth the effort? Could you do better by including, integrating and accepting these traits?

Gemini: You’re dancing with your inner sibling. Maybe you already are your inner sibling. Could you also open your ears in a spate of active imagination to find out what it is your imaginary sibling might have to share with you? Wear patterns for effective camouflage.

Cancer: Simplicity and austerity have their places and times in every life. This is not one of those in yours. Find what you can adapt to celebration and get on with rejoicing. Release your burdens and accept the possibility of success and satisfaction. Call early Monday.

Leo: Is your life consuming you whole like an ouroborotic snake gone out of control? Can you overcome the counter-productive urge to panic?? You might find your meta-auto-cannibalism solves (X + 1) more problems than it creates. Where X = problems. Think.

Virgo: You’re sleeping heavily, but you’re not well rested when you awaken. You’re troubled by convoluted, over-heated dreams and they all end so finally that you can’t bring yourself to remember them. You’re ready to open your third eye and see a bit more.

Libra: Tempis is a fugit-ing along at quite an astounding rate. You’re hanging on for all you’re worth, but the death grip is getting in the way of your having any control over direction or velocity. Take a few deep breaths and try to root yourself through your feet.

Scorpio: Once upon a time is not now. You would do well to become re-grounded in the present and to accept its strictures as real and binding. Once you’ve gotten that out of the way, you can charge full-steam ahead in whatever direction seems best to you.

Sagittarius: Are you ready to change your inner status? Are you ready to make a new contract with yourself? Are you ready to centaur-up and become that which you have always been destined to be? Commit to being more active on your own behalf before Sunday.

Capricorn: It’s a confusing world, and you’re feeling drained and sore by all the effort you’ve put forth. This is made worse by how little recognition you receive for your undertakings and accomplishments. Or is it? Shift your perspective to find yourself bathed in admiration.

Aquarius: You’ve been made a scapegoat before, and with better justification than now. So what do you think you’re going to do about it? Where does reason say you should go to get with a measure of justice? Can you take the road less travelled on this one? Ask twice.

Pisces: It must be that the landscape is holding still and you’re moving through it, and that’s why everything keeps changing whenever you look around and then back — right? Or have you lost your focus? Either way, it’s not easy to keep your mental eye on the reality ball.

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Horoscope

July 21-28, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re really putting your back into it. In fact, you want to watch out that you don’t strain yourself under the mighty effort. You can get there from here, but you’re not going to like how hard you have to work in this weather to make it all come true. Nonetheless, stifle your (whiney) inner-child for the nonce and get down to brass tacks with your goals and objectives. Have someone with a clear head and an honest heart check the numbers before you commit irrevocably.

Aries: Now more than ever you have a lot on your plate and less motivation than you’re used to. Will you go sulk in your tent? Will you enlist the aid of your favorite sidekicks? Will you revive your flagging interest with a new approach? Honesty may be painful, but necessary.

Taurus: You’re standing on it (and maybe in it) at this point. The big red arrow is aimed right at you. Now that you know where you are, you may want to do something about where you want to be and how you want things to go when you get there. Phone ahead and hold steady.

Gemini: It’s more difficult than it looks. Or maybe you underestimated the effort necessary. Or it could be some processes just take longer than you can determine from an external viewpoint. All the same, you have the chops and you’ve got the training, and you’re on point.

Cancer: If it were easy, everyone would be managing with as much aplomb as you’ve been able to scrape together. If it were quick, you wouldn’t have needed to rally your entire repertoire of stamina producers and your posse of the faithful. Cut yourself some slack Tuesday.

Leo: Don’t lose faith. The times are as they are, and the situation is what it is. All the same, you’re making more progress than you know and you have everyone rooting for you up in the bleachers. Don’t let the glare of their approval blind you to all that still must be done.

Virgo: Ask yourself the hard questions. Challenge yourself to look for the not-obvious answers. Sometimes the best course isn’t the shortest distance between two points. If you’re taking one step backward for every two steps forward, you may already be a salsa dancer.

Libra: The times, they are a changin’ – and with them you may need a new look to enhance your new position. Don’t balk at a makeover; you’ve owed yourself a freshening-up for some time now. Keep your diet healthy, your exercise regimen realistic and your nose clean.

Scorpio: On the off chance you take a minute and stop pointing the finger at the other guy, you may notice you’ve had some serious influence on the situation so far. Develop new tolerance, humility and an appreciation for the literal and physical. Drop your defenses, right?

Sagittarius: You’re as open as you can be to all that might be and all that could happen. Will you be able to take up the challenge of relating to the present as it currently registers? Reality bites, but it may also serve as a vaccination against a larger issue looming now!

Capricorn: You can’t help it. You want better for yourself. You want choices again. You want beauty to go hand-in-hand with function. This is no fault. This may even be your saving grace. Will you allow yourself to act in your own best interests? Check in with a Taurus.

Aquarius: Peace may be bought, but the price may represent a Pyrrhic victory for you. You’re reluctant to declare war, but you may not have lots of options if you want to get out from under the ingrained injustices that have you up in arms. Reflect on Friday.

Pisces: You are greater than the sum of your parts. You are layered into depths unplumbed. You are capable of feats past reckoning. You are required to believe in yourself before you get much farther down the road to becoming your wholly amazing self. Use the key.

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Horoscope

June 14-20, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: Time and tide take on new significance as deadlines approach and procrastination deepens its tentacled presence in your heart of hearts. Why the foot dragging? Why so much laze in the laissez faire? Why the general anomie? You’ve got what you came for and while it’s more to do than you could possibly have guessed, the work that hasn’t killed you yet not only makes you stronger it also gives you mad skills. So get off your inner duff and get with the program to git ‘er done.

Aries: There’s a challenge before you, and you hate backing down. There’s an obstacle in front of you, and you won’t turn back. There’s a conundrum to resolve and you can’t let it go unsolved. Apply yourself with grace and force combined for maximum effectiveness.

Taurus: You used to be disaffected, but now you’re just tired. You used to be overworked; now you’re also under-appreciated. You would pitch a fit, but it would take energy you really don’t have. Get in touch with your inner spa worker. Treat yourself to a makeover.

Gemini: Insidious is as insidious does. Sometimes the most direct means of achieving your goals is the sneakiest path from A to B. Strap on the Trickster cap and get ready to run the short con to end all short cons. You’ll receive unintended support on Tuesday.

Cancer: You’re not a demon, but you wish you had the extra capabilities. On the other hand, that hot dry climate might not really be best for you. Become more than you are by the application of will and humility (instead of pride, right). Consult with a Capricorn.

Leo: Is it the distance? Is it the difference? Is it the history of disaster? There’s a situation brewing, and you’re not sure how to summon the extra energy to cope with bringing it back into proportion and out of Code Red. Bring in the outside experts — and listen to them.

Virgo: OK. So it wasn’t the sanest thing you’ve ever done. It wasn’t the craziest by a long-shot though. Quit tormenting yourself with the eternal replay. Since you made your choice and vocalized it unequivocally, it’s time to man up and get with the follow through.

Libra: Tense? Edgy? On a hair trigger? You could use a shot of B Vitamins, several times a day. You could use a relaxing massage, as often as you can afford it. You might consider running, or yoga to bring your blood pressure and weight down and spirits up.

Scorpio: Society says one thing, and you head off in the opposite philosophical direction. Family holds out one value, and you intentionally find your own set of ethics to apply. Your partner confides a particular preference, and you take the contrary. Chill out, reboot.

Sagittarius: Are you a person or an insect? Stop going with your lowest common denominator instincts. You have been more and you can be again. It’s going to take some doing to catch up to your lost humanity and vanishing competence. You have the chops. Use them.

Capricorn: Destiny and Fate are tired words. They’re not worthy of the effort you’ve expended to get as far as you’ve already come. Give yourself props for trying hard and making almost unimaginable progress. Then get back on your feet, in the saddle, and to the rescue.

Aquarius: Uh-huh. You knew it would come to this. You heard it from those who care for you, and you believed it before you could demonstrate it. All right. Now what have you got planned to get yourself out of this corner and back into the center ring? Play hard.

Pisces: You’re used to being able to wiggle out of the tight spots to which life is prone. You’re not going to slide free of this with so little effort. Instead, you’re going to have to put your whole spine and your knees well into it to see the resolution you know to be correct.

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Horoscope

July 7-13, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re more aware of the resources and reflections inherent in those around you. Look into their faces to see who you are becoming, and what use might be made of your evolution. Look into their minds to find solutions yet undreamt of in your philosophies. Look into their closets to see what you’ve overlooked in crafting a more distinctive personal style. You can still catch more flies with honey than vinegar or reasoning. Don’t give up, just reboot in order to get to rebuilding that much faster.

Aries: You see farther standing on the shoulders of giants than you can by climbing onto any rock in your vicinity. You can reach farther using the collective assistance available to you than with the limited scope of your own arms. Learn to share the workload for satisfaction.

Taurus: You’re sleeping better, but eating more. Now is a good time to pick a supportive diet and stick to it, in order to help your body function better rather than merely slimming down a size. Take a load off your thyroid for maximum return on your timely self-investment.

Gemini: Here in the seat of summer, you begin to blossom. Here in the steam of the heat and humidity, you begin to take on richer colors and a fuller self-representation. Don’t be afraid to let your freak flag fly proudly. You’re able to help others see your POV on Sunday.

Cancer: Happiness comes in large and small packages. You may not have global delight, but you can take personal pride in the details. Give yourself wholly to that which is within your sphere of influence. The ripples will spread farther and wider than you can suppose.

Leo: It’s time to use your noggin to get yourself past the current set of obstacles. It’s time to enlist the aid of the canny and the slick to get your agenda as far down the road as possible before your momentum is overtaken by drag. Wear lamé to create excitement.

Virgo: You’re on a treadmill, and someone keeps moving the speed setting up, up, up. Can you maintain the pace, or ought you to jump off? You’ll have to use your judgment. Would it shift your perspective if you believed your legs to be bionic? Practice alone.

Libra: Time and tide alike are on your side this cycle. You can do more, think more and wrap more up than seemed possible from a planning-stage distance. You’re not the only one overtaken by efficiency and productivity. Band together to accomplish more.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Is it destiny or a self-fulfilling prophecy? You have more latitude here than you expected. You have more pushing at you from the unconscious than you can possibly imagine. Let the greater energy flow into the mundane world and smooth your path Saturday.

Sagittarius: Work and play share common boundaries when you enjoy what you have to do anyway. Can you learn to whistle while you work without driving your cube-mates crazy? Can you learn to do the hustle while you bustle about gittin’ ‘er done? Ask again.

Capricorn: It’s not easy, but it’s not as difficult as you’d assumed. It’s not simple, but it’s much less complex than you’d been told. It’s not over, but you have less far to go than you’d planned. What will you do with all the resources you’ve already set aside? Celebrate.

Aquarius: Simplicity is the hardest discipline. Explain with fewer words. Accomplish with fewer motions. Cogitate with fewer convolutions. You’ll manage so much more than you thought possible if you’ll only accept your enhanced capacity and the help of a crony.

Pisces: Weaving and bobbing down the stream of life’s occurrences, you might take note of any changes in nature along the way. There’s a source of strength and even nurturing available to you from everywhere. Remember to breathe deeply and exhale completely.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!