Metro Weekly

Fred Schneider Confidential

The B-52s singer answers our Coverboy questions

Who gets on your nerves?
Mitt Romney and right-wingers. Republicans.

What is your biggest turn on?
The whole package.

What’s your biggest turn off?

What’s something you’ve never tried but you’ve always wanted to do?
Well, fly to Mars, but now that it looks dead as a doornail, I don’t think I’d want to go there. So just a quick tour of our solar system. Still, I guess after a while if you’ve seen one asteroid, you’ve seen them all.

Name something you’ve tried that you never want to do again?
It was in a Burmese restaurant, and they were called stink beans. And they really tasted as bad as their name.

Who’s your favorite musical artist?
Now? That’s a tough one. I like Hot Chip and Chromeo and Simian Mobile Disco, but as far as all-time favorites, I don’t know if they’d qualify.

So who is all-time?
Martha and the Vandellas.

What position do you play in the big baseball game of life?
The comic announcer.

What’s your favorite food to splurge with?
Even though it’s fattening, a really good sourdough rye with olive oil on it.

What’s your favorite season of the year?
Well I work every summer touring, so I’ll say fall.

What kind of animal would you be?
A rhinoceros. They’re prehistoric-looking and just interesting.

What kind of plant or vegetable would you be?
Well, some people already think I’m a vegetable.

What kind of car would you be?
A DeSoto Firedome. Back when I was a kid you’d say, ”When I grow up, I’m gonna smoke Oasis cigarettes, drive a DeSoto, have eight kids.” [Dryly.] Ha, ha.

What are you most grateful for?
The fact that I have a career. [Laughs.] Considering that I dropped out of college and I have no skills.

State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.
Be a good person. Enjoy life. Leave a small footprint.

The B-52s play Wolf Trap, in Vienna, Va. on Thursday, July 19, at 8 p.m. Also on the bill: Squeeze. Tickets are $25 to $42. Call 703-255-1900 or visit

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Randy Shulman is Metro Weekly's Publisher and Editor-in-Chief. He can be reached at