Metro Weekly

Stuck

''Spider-Man'' putters along, only able to get by with what's already worked for its ancestors. It's not fit, so it won't survive.

Emma Stone is excellent in her own right. She’s stuck with a few awfully dopy lines and yet plays Parker’s love interest with irreplaceable verve and humor. Together, they utterly carry Spider-Man through its many dull, aimless sequences. In almost any other movie — a romantic comedy, perhaps — that kind of chemistry would be a coup. Webb smartly keeps the story tightly framed by the two actors, but nonetheless, they’re merely a respite from everything else that’s going wrong. No amount of tongue-tied, cute back-and-forth between can solve the ill-defined mystery about Peter Parker’s parents, or explain the villain’s motivations, or make relevant the forgotten Uncle Ben plot — which, as any Spider-Man fan will tell you, is pivotal to this origin story.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN
starstar
Starring
Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone
Rated PG-13
136 Minutes
Now Playing
Area Theaters

That’s the problem with Spider-Man: It tells a comic-book story without sticking to a comic-book message. After the final blowout, it’s unclear what Peter Parker has learned, save for a few trite discoveries about courage and character. Webb’s clearly got an eye for flair — his shots of Spider-Man swinging through New York City are exhilarating, when they don’t feel like a 3D roller coaster ride — but he’s too faint (or Sony was too constrictive) about the heart of it all.

Spider-Man, like every comic-book superhero, is a modern-day myth. It doesn’t matter that we know the beats of his origin, or that his story hasn’t fundamentally changed, or that others have already told it in brilliant ways. All that matters is what’s told now, and how it’s told differently. Because a myth is such well-trod ground, the way the story’s told is as affective and important as the story itself. Spider-Man isn’t a bad movie — but it’s an entirely unrealized one.

Look to the end of it all, when Webb firmly plants Spider-Man towards its all-but-guaranteed sequel. Peter Parker’s sitting back in English class, listening to his teacher drone on about the secrets of storytelling. A writer, she says, once told her that there are only 10 different kinds of plots. She disagrees, and the facade drops: “There is only one plot: Who am I?” Too bad Spider-Man never gives us an answer.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!