(Photo by Julian Vankim)
What position do you play in the big baseball game of life?
I’m a top. Fill in the blank.
What’s your favorite retail store?
What’s your favorite food to splurge with?
Anything in a tortilla. Because it’s kind of like foreskin.
What’s your favorite season?
I love spring as a season, but I like the temperature of the summer.
What kind of animal would you be?
Monkey. I’m obsessed with monkeys.
What kind of plant would you be?
Artificial, because they don’t die.
What kind of car would you be?
One that runs. I’m reliable.
What are you most grateful for?
All the good people and opportunities in my life. And the fact that I was born into a country that’s a melting pot of people. [Whispers.] Foreskin.
State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.
Live, laugh, love, wash foreskin before putting in mouth.