Booze 'n boys with Sister Christian

Posted by Hearsay
August 7, 2008 11:17 AM |
Andrew Christian.jpg

Last Friday, Universal Gear kicked off the weekend the way Hearsay hopes the store will always do from now on -- with a cocktail party! What more could you ask for: clothes just perfect for clubbing in all weekend long and free vodka perfect for giving you that head start. With booze flowing freely, Hearsay was pretty buzzed by the time the party ended at 7 p.m., or several hours before it was actually time to go out and drink more. Somehow, Hearsay managed to persevere, like the professional boozehound it is. Don’t try this at home.

The reason for the season: Designer Andrew “Obama Boxer” Christian was in the store, talking up his new line of swimwear and underwear, and just generally looking pretty and feeling good. Universal Gear’s foxy-gothy employee Dustin was disturbed when he noticed Hearsay didn’t have a libation in its hand. “It’s a party!” he commanded Hearsay, and Hearsay’s not one to deny a drinking order.


Christian brought a bevy of models from Los Angeles with him, and while at Universal Gear they took turns alternating between standing in the window like real-life underwear mannequins, only twinkier, and pouring cocktails. Later that night, they followed Christian to Cobalt, for the party that was the real reason he was in town. The Music to Wear Tour with DJ Kimberly “GP” S was the latest incarnation of the club’s Flight 1639 party. Hearsay presented its boarding pass for free admission, then inquired about joining the Mile High Club. Say, Dave “Koopa Troopa” Perruzza, wanna join it with Hearsay? “I’m afraid of another crash landing,” he retorted, then studied Hearsay’s face to see if it got the reference. Fine, be that way -- but it wasn't entirely Hearsay's fault that that public toilet sprung a leak. There was a hefty person involved! Anyway, Andrew Christian was hard to pin down at Cobalt, and his models were even harder to get. They traveled in a flock, spreading their little wings up and down and all around, as if looking to fly the coop, maybe thinking Christian’s trademarked Butt-Lifting Technology would do the trick. And in its own way it did. Just looking at them, Hearsay felt as high as a mile at one point or another....

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