Cracking the Olympics

Posted by Hearsay
August 22, 2008 6:10 PM |
The Beijing Olympics are almost over, which means very soon there’ll be no more televised sights of hunky men in skintight, skimpy, sports gear -- no more shots of Michael “The Human Fish” Phelps’ lean and mean body machine, Jonathan “Ring My Silver Bell” Horton’s bulging arms, the bulky build of Adam “Singlet Stuffing” Wheeler or the thick thighs of David “Howard Powerhouse” Oliver. Oh yeah, and the games and competitions themselves will be over, too. But before it’s all over, there’s an uber-gay play on this year’s Summer Games to come this Saturday to Meridian Hill Park. This could be even better than the real thing! The charge is being led by Summer “Erotic CRACK Boot” Camp, the alter ego of Shea “Come and Blow My” Van Horn. Summer Camp’s Summer Games is actually the latest edition of Aaron “Official Guide to the City” Riggins’ monthly event Saturgays in the Park, which over the past few months has attracted on average a hundred gays to play a croquet match, a game of Twister, a rubber-ducky race, all in Meridian Hill. But with the involvement of Summer Camp, best known as host and organizer of the occasional Crack party at DC9, the August edition will be the wildest, raunchiest, campiest yet. Van Horn tells Hearsay that they’re planning a relay race and other track and field games, as well as plays on equestrian and “water sports.” They’ll start gathering at the impromtu Bird’s Nest at 1 p.m., and the games will begin a couple hours later just as they did in Beijing: with a grand Opening Ceremony with crazy pomp -- and pumps! -- and circumstance. Audience members are encouraged to dress up, wearing their best singlets, bike shorts or Speedos. In fact, Summer Camp will give a $40 American Apparel gift certificate to the person with the best costume. For his part, Riggins says he’ll dress as a 1970s-era sports jock with short-shorts and tube socks. And since it is outdoors, on an August afternoon, Van Horn says Camp will be sure to wear something scantily clad, or at least layers. Would you expect anything less? The whole affair will end with a Closing Ceremony, where medals and prizes will be awarded to winning teams. It's to be followed by an after-party at the Duplex Diner, where coach Eric “I Hold the World Record in Egg Juggling” Hirshfeld will cater to the tater tots and massage the pork chops, and offer drink specials to the game participants. Sounds like the perfect way to spice up a late-August weekend....

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