October 2008 Archives

Hearsay knew it would only be a matter of time before some gay boys put their freak-em dresses on and had fun with Beyonce’s new video “Single Ladies" with choreography inspired by the late, great Bob “One, Singular Sensation” Fosse. The song itself, by the way, may just be the most-un-affirming “single ladies” anthem of all time. But Hearsay can’t believe just one week later, here we go! For most technical skill, there’s this barely dressed flitter. Too bad he couldn’t recruit two friends to make it even more authentically special. Speaking of friends, they can make you do some crazy shit. “Please don’t tell me I did some gay stuff,” says this hoofer-spoofer who wins for sheer entertainment value.

This may be the most brilliant campaign commercial ever. Ever.

Well finally! It’s been years since Tracy “Living Theatre” Young returned to her roots to spin her sweet tribal sound. In that time, the University of Maryland grad has continued her reign as the gay circuit’s No. 1 female DJ. The out lesbian even made it to Baltimore a time or two. But not D.C. Way to go, Mike “Shirtless Wonder” Watson, for bringing her back, tapping her to kick-start the weekend and a new special Friday party at Be Bar.

And the good news keeps on coming: Next month Young, one of the genre’s best compilers, will finally release another dance compilation, Genesis, named after her famed New Year’s Day party in Miami. Also, next year, she’ll helm her adopted hometown’s fabulous Winter Party. She’s also expected to return to D.C. at least once again. But Be there to welcome her home tomorrow night, Friday, Oct. 24! Doors open at 10 p.m. Cover is $15....

Hearsay doesn’t get all the hype over Britney “She’s So Shameless” Spears’s new single “Womanizer.” How is it possible it’s her first No. 1 since her debut nearly 10 years ago, with “Baby One More Time?” Hmm, hello, what about “Toxic, “Crazy,” or “Gimme More?” Certainly she created a sensation with “Lose Your Head and Shave Your Kids” -- or was it the other way around? Anyway, “Womanizer” may be on track to be her biggest ever: It just soared to the top of the Hot 100 faster than any other song, climbing 95 spots in one week’s time. Let's count, shall we? 95... 94... 93... 1!

Maybe the cute video accounts for the success. Have you seen it? Say, doesn’t that boy, frequently shirtless and more, look familiar? The celebrity blogs have been agog about just who Brandon “Sex On The Beach, Please” Stoughton is. “Boy don’t try to front, I know exactly what you are,” the Brit says, as she throws Stoughton around. Hearsay knows exactly what he is, too: A former Cobalt bartender! Cobalt manager Jason “Put on Your Dancin' Shoes” Royce confirmed to Hearsay that Stoughton used to shake and stir at the 17th Street institution for several years. A couple years ago, Stoughton left D.C. to find fame and fortune as a model in Los Angeles. Looks like he's well on his way....

On Friday, Oct. 17, Hearsay won’t have to travel to get its fetish on -- it’ll just have to hop up from P Street Beach, wipe its brow and huff it over a block to Apex Nightclub as one-time top porn star Colton “The Singing XXX-Man” Ford will take to the club’s stage to sing his songs, from “The Way You Love Me” to new single “Tug of War” to the little-known gem he calls “Every Breath You Take," which Hearsay calls “I’ll Be Watching You” and the Police call “Stop Stalking Him or Else.” And no one’s begging, “please!” Ford’s theater begins at 12:30 a.m. and the cover is $10....

A few weekends ago, Hearsay stumbled up to near-Columbia Heights with Jon “May I Count You” Steingart for Allan “Double Duty” Zoller’s birthday party, thrown by his adoring spouse Stacey “The Children Have Spoken” Warren. Quite the crowd of revelers stopped by the lovely Zoller-Warren condo, including Michael “Rhyme And No Reason” Scott, Paul “Come Sail Away” Drebs and Shane “Fine China” Maye. Happy birthday, Zoller. You don’t look a day older than yesterday – or even the day before....

On Friday night, Sept. 26, Hearsay wasn’t sure if the debate would still go on. Would the old stalwart grant the young whippersnapper a fair hearing? Or was the state of our economy too dire to discuss trivial things like babies, Botox and boob jobs? No, John “Elect Me and I'll Make Sure to Continue Bush's Mess” McCain and Barack “The Obvious Choice” Obama didn’t discuss such trivial matter in the first Presidential Debate, which went on as scheduled -- and Hearsay enjoyed watching the two spar at Nellie’s, where the restaurant was packed with folks focused on the giant TV screens. It was certainly boisterous for Barack. The storms were brewing and the lightning interfered with the satellite feed a couple times at the very end of the long debate. But Hearsay never could figure out what all those graphics cluttering up CNN’s coverage were trying to indicate anyway -- Blue and Red don’t make Green, and why did William “Stunted Education” Bennett stop keeping score? Maybe he fell asleep.

But the debate – the battle, more accurately – that concerned Hearsay, about babies, Botox and boob jobs went on as scheduled, too, two blocks down at Town, where veteran Madonna soundly defeated maverick Britney in the video battle. Town’s Ed “That Makes Two of Us” Bailey tells Hearsay that he’s brewing even bigger video battles to come, to culminate in something like a spring fling, although he declined to elaborate. Hearsay loves spring almost as much as a fling, so this should be good.

In case you were planning to drive anywhere downtown today, Hearsay just thinks you should know this darn helpful information, you betcha! The following streets will be closed for AIDS Walk Washington on Saturday, Oct. 4: Pennsylvania Avenue South between 14th and 13th Streets, NW, from 2 a.m. until 3 p.m. In addition, the following streets will be subject to rolling closures between 8:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. Pennsylvania Avenue between 13th and 3rd Streets, NW. 3rd Street between Pennsylvania Avenue, NW and E Street, SW. Washington Avenue, SW, between Independence Avenue and 2nd Street, SW. 2nd Street, SW, between Washington Avenue and E Street, SW. Independence Avenue between 4th and 3rd Streets, SW.

A week ago, Hearsay spent the evening with Sandra “I’m Still Still Here” Bernhard and a hundred or so gay Jews. Mama would be so proud! The occasion was one of Bernhard’s last performances at the DC JCC’s Theater J of Without You I’m Nothing, her landmark 20-year-old off-Broadway one-woman show. Bernhard came out singing “And I’m Telling You (I’m Not Going),” teasing out even more drama than usual, all for comedic effect. Don’t forget to breathe, Sandra! Oh, don’t call on Hearsay -- just walk on by, down the steps please. Hearsay was feeling a little shy -- if Bernhard picks on you, you might never get picked on again by anyone, ever, at any time. Fortunately, there wasn’t audience participation in the reincarnated show, she simply fed off the crowd’s reactions to her barbs at pop culture and politics. Bernhard’s singing voice was in better condition than it was 20 years ago, and she put her sarcastic stamp on a bevy of pop songs, both classic (“Little Red Corvette”) and forgettable (“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”). She talked about being a mother and her lesbian lover, her yin -- or is it yang? And no one else would segue from Madonna to Cindy “Candy Perfume Girl” McCain. “We only got four minutes to save the world!” After the show, Bernhard signed autographs and shared cocktails in the DC JCC’s grand entrance hall as part of a reception hosted by GLOE, the JCC’s nebulous and nebbishy Gay and Lesbian Outreach and Engagement program. Just offer free booze and snacks -- that’ll engage the gay Jews! Hearsay enjoyed itself so much, it decided to go kosher for the night and marveled that nowhere was there a foreskin in sight....

Tonight, Oct. 3, Hearsay is high-tailing it – or black-booting it, as it were – to Baltimore to check out the Hippo’s “Leather Descent” party. Why would Hearsay leave D.C. for leather? Well, not just to see how the other half – suede daddies? – lives, though certainly that has some appeal. No, the reason is as clear as can be: to hear the DJ, the one, the only Drew “Not Looking” G, the New Yorker who’s up-and-coming around these parts (but he doesn’t come enough for Hearsay). Here’s hoping he’ll show off his kinks and gear while he spins at the fetish party, which costs $15 at the door, not including any goods you purchase at the Leather Mart, or the boot shines by David “Wax On” Spellman. The event is sponsored by Baltimore’s C.O.M.M.A.N.D. organization, which stands for Cute Ornery Manly Men Admiring Nude Dudes. Who wouldn’t want to join that? Actually, it’s the Corps Of Men Making A Noticeable Difference – yep, they all noble and shit. Sir!....

Support your local gay filmmaker! Greg "Faster" Price is competing against eight other local film finalists in the Diesel Film Racing competition, a nationwide effort now in its second year that features a $2,500 grand prize plus free filmmaking software, to be awarded in December. The film had to be shorter than four minutes, based on a “surprise” theme, feature the lighting of a candle, and created in 24 hours. Price's short features Shea "Longer" Van Horn, the cutie patootie behind the crazy-campy drag queen Summer Camp and the regular Crack parties at DC9. Horn is the baker, Alex "Harder" George the butcher and Jonathan "Stronger" Littlefield the candlestick maker. All goes according to the humpy candleman's plan until Van Horn's baker goes to blow him. Then...surprise! But Hearsay won't ruin it for you. See it – and vote – for yourself. But do it quickly! The D.C. winner is to be announced Monday.