Hearsay thought that headline might get your attention. And your attention is what Hearsay seeks. If you haven’t already voted, then might Hearsay bitchily ask you: Why the bloody hell not? Go get in line, you lazy lardass! And make sure you vote CORRECTLY. In other words, Hearsay would like to be able to start tomorrow with a cup of coffee, a smile, a few bluebirds twittering around its head singing the following song:
Bye Bye Bushie, Hello Barackie!
If voting isn’t itself enough of a reward to you as an American, then how about some capitalistic benevolence? That’s right, a few merchants are giving away their wares. If you drink coffee, tell the barista at Starbucks you voted and they’ll brew you a Tall cup of coffee. If you like ice cream – even in crisp autumn weather – head over to a participating Ben & Jerry’s – the Dupont Circle location is one – from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. and show your “I Voted” sticker to get a free scoop of ice cream. What about a doughnut? Well, participating Krispy Kreme locations are offering customers wearing an “I Voted” sticker a free star-shaped doughnut with patriotic sprinkles. And really, who wants to diet on a day like today?
Tonight, continue eating like a Barack-star at either Capitol City Brewing Co. or Nellie’s to watch the election returns. Dubbed Election Night Out, the Human Rights Campaign’s party at Capitol City is a tradition. But get there early to snag a booth. Meanwhile, the newer kid on the block, Nellie’s, is throwing its own “Which Way Will They Swing?” party, focused, of course, on the swing states, not the swingers in the crowd. The party is hosted by the Stein Dems, the Stonewall Dems, and the Fem Dems of Hybla Valley.
Or you can just stay at home and follow along at Sean Bugg's Buggblog, where our beloved editorial magnate and keeper of all things secret, sparkly and cherished will be live blogging from an ultra-private party at an island with special properties somewhere in the Baltic Sea. Could be tres insightful, depending on how many dirty martinis the Buggmeister General throws back.