February 2009 Archives

Cobalt Correction!

Posted by Hearsay
February 20, 2009 4:46 PM |

Hearsay drinks too much. This is common knowledge. Hearsay likes its scotch and vodka and bourbon and beer and red wine -- all mixed together. Sometimes this blending of the devil's brews (also known as alkyhole), causes Hearsay to make a goof in its irregular but vastly informative and infinitely entertaining print column. Which is what happened in yesterday's Metro Weekly, as Hearsay noted that Cobalt's new, forthcoming dance party Shift would be held this Saturday when in fact it's NEXT Saturday, Feb. 28. This Saturday, Feb. 21, is Cobalt's Bare dance party, which is for the ladies. Which, of course, means that there will be little frilly cocktail dresses and cucumber sandwiches, not to mention big, oversized cucumbers themselves... although those aren't for eating, if you catch Hearsay's ribald drift.

So let's repeat:

This Saturday, Feb. 21, Bare.

Next Saturday, Feb. 28, Shift.

At Cobalt, 17th & R Streets NW.

Okay, Hearsay is going back to its Gin and Campari....

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The Re-Re Hat Tour

Posted by Hearsay
February 14, 2009 8:11 AM |
100_0507.JPGHearsay has learned that a few weeks ago -- the weekend after the Inauguration, to be exact -- a mysterious man got creative with a lampshade and fashioned an oversized, bedazzled hat in the style of the one Aretha "Oh Spacious Skies" Franklin wore at President "I'll Give You An Economic Stimulus!" Obama's swearing-in ceremony. This creative soul then proceeded to parade the hat around town, snapping pictures of bar-hoppers and one commode acting a fool at Nellie's, JR.'s, Cobalt, even outside Whole Foods. Hearsay's partial to the shot of Matthew "That's Acting!" Montelongo, the oft-naked star of Signature Theatre's Little Dog Laughed. Though Kevin "Sing It Sister" Steele sure did get into the role. But why didn't Lena "The Landlord" Lett? Interested in seeing more? View all 223 posers here...

Baker, baker, bake me a dildo....

Posted by Hearsay
February 6, 2009 8:54 AM |
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You can have your cake and eat it too this Saturday at the D.C. Eagle. And who wouldn’t rather eat it in the shape of a dildo? If you’re lucky, that’s exactly what master baker Tim “All The Bears Say” Woody will whip up for this year’s Scarlet’s Bake Sale and Auction, one of D.C.’s oldest fundraisers.

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It’s not just creative cakes that bring in the dough and the awards. (But if you’re feeling so inspired, all you have to do is bring in your cake donation between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. The event runs from 5 to 9 p.m.) Scarlet co-chair Patrick “Patty Cake” Grady says in previous years clothing and handmade quilts have brought in as much as $2,000 apiece. As has become tradition, this year’s recently crowned Mr. MAL and Mr. D.C. Eagle will also auction the clothes right off their bodies. Grady says there’s an official Scarlet Bake Sale towel – “which we could sell on eBay someday” – used to encourage titleholders to take it all off. So think about how much you’re willing to pay for Kip “Make Me” Hollar’s leather jockstrap, because you just might get it.

Last year’s event raised some $12,000 for PetsDC and Food and Friends. This year’s beneficiary is GLOV, The GLBT Anti-Violence Task Force – a response to the recent spike in crime in our community. This year’s auctioneers include Frank “Mop & Glo Beauty” Nowicki, the reigning emcee for the Mr. MAL pageant and a natural-born host. Could it get any better? Actually, Hearsay doesn’t think so....


What's the secret about Secrets?

Posted by Hearsay
February 4, 2009 4:47 PM |
The anticipation is building, and the rumors are running rampant. Clearly, Hearsay's not the only one ready to explode at the prospect of naked men dancing. When will boy2a.jpgSecrets reopen? Where? Will it be better than before? Soon, very soon, all will be revealed. And Hearsay does mean all -- three years is too long to go without full-frontal! But trust Hearsay, everyone will be thrilled! In fact, check the magazine tomorrow for an exclusive sneak peek inside the new venue, with a story by intrepid Nightlife reporter Doug "Slide" Rule featuring photography by Todd "AeroGrow" Franson. Readers will even learn all about Ziegfeld's, and the return of Ella "My Legs Don't Work Like They Used to, But I Still Got My Wig!" Fitzgerald. Trust Hearsay, you won't believe your eyes...