My roommate is bad news! I was warned by my dearest and wisest friend not to let him move in, but I failed to listen. Now I might as well live with a Leona Helmsley/Whitney Houston mixed breed. My question is: Do I ask him to leave peacefully, end his life, or just simply destroy him socially and professionally? Oh, silly me, he is already well on his way to accomplishing the latter.
–Bye Bye Roomie
One might quibble over whether or not you could have a dearer or wiser friend than — ahem — me, but that doesn’t lessen the fact that your friend warned you. So now I’ll tell you what I’ve always said to these all-too-common roommate dramas — if you do not make peace with your space, you will not have peace anywhere else. It’s like emotional feng shui, and it’s your responsibility to get your house in order and make yourself happy.
Sit down with your roommate and tell him — in the nicest way you can — why you do not want to live with him. Then ask him nicely to get his shit and git. As for destroying him socially, let it go — once two people have lived in the same home and witnessed each other’s best and worst moments, social vendettas can quickly devolve into mutually assured destruction. Remember, you were warned by a trusted friend, you ignored the advice, and you got yourself in knee deep. Pay for your mistakes and move on.
I have a drag queen friend who is always a mess. Every time I see her she can hardly see, much less walk. She constantly makes rude comments to me thinking she is real funny, too. I really love her almost as much as I adore her fashions, but how do I get her to straighten up?
–Friend in Need
Honey, I never said I was your friend! Honestly, you fall down ten times and they never let you forget it. Oh well, what can you do? Let’s take a look at your friend. If this queen — whether drag or not — is as good a friend as you say, then you need to talk with her. Even drag queens must rest, so there must be at least one or two spots of sobriety during the week when you can speak to her about her actions. Tell her how concerned you are about her health and well-being, as well as how hurtful she can be to her friends when she’s a mess. Your reaching out to her may just save her life, and make each of you a better friend. Remember, it’s all about the communication and the love!
I’m eighteen and a straight lad, but I’ve just started fancying young lads the same age as me — and I had no interest in them when I had a girlfriend. Help!
My little lambchop, welcome — I say, WELCOME — to the one true faith. It is completely okay to switch from straight to gay — there are, after all, countless gay men who started their lives as straight. And I have heard folktales of others who later turned straight after spending years as gay men, though, admittedly, this is an anomaly that occurs far less frequently. My point is: Be happy. And seek your happiness from those who help you grow. Sample a little of lad, sample that lad and before you know it, you will know precisely what your fancy is.