Metro Weekly

Roy

Baltimore's Roy is a dynamic mix of party boy and practical professional

Though far more stylish than a mullet, Roy has followed that particular haircut’s philosophy of mastering both business and pleasure. On the business end, the Baltimore-area native with the MBA works as a trading assistant for a global firm. But he’s also a party promoter and Club Hippo bartender. ”With party promotion, big theme parties, it’s just fun to go out and shop a party with someone else’s money,” he says. “And they’re always packed.” Aside from the Hippo, you might also catch the 30-year-old at Grand Central, Town, Cobalt or Nellie’s. Or the gym, of course.

What’s on your nightstand?
It’s kind of bare. An alarm clock, a lamp.

Coverboy: Roy

Coverboy: Roy

(Photo by Julian Vankim)

What’s in your nightstand drawer?
Remote control, magazines — like Car and Driver, not porno. A notepad and pen.

Do you record your dreams?
Random ideas. Party-related, crazy dreams. There are times I’ve woken up and written down crazy stuff.

And the condoms?
The condoms I actually keep in the bathroom.

What are your television favorites?
My DVR is filled with Roseanne, Will & Grace, Project Runway.

What was your favorite cartoon when you were a kid?
I used to like anything with Donald Duck, so Darkwing Duck.

What superhero would you be?
If I could be like Hugh Jackman — big and masculine — Wolverine.

Would you rather be Hugh Jackman or Wolverine?
Hugh Jackman. I’d rather be a hot Australian movie star.

Who’s your greatest influence?
My ex-boyfriend. He represents so many things I don’t want to be, so he changed me in a lot of ways — all for the better. I never want to be that person.

What’s your greatest fear?
Great white sharks. Growing up, I couldn’t close my eyes in the shower. I was afraid a great white would bust through the wall.

Pick three people, living or dead, who you think would make the most fascinating dinner guests imaginable.
Benjamin Franklin, Leonardo da Vinci and Madonna.

What would you serve?
I’m cooking?! I do cook, so pasta carbonara – with eggs, not cream. That’s one thing I picked up from my grandma.

Do you have a hankering for pasta?
I do, but I don’t eat it. I’m not a super health freak, but I do watch what I eat.

How would you describe your dream guy?
Athletic, masculine, intelligent. He doesn’t have to be funny, but he has to think I’m funny. Dark features. But not a gym freak – I’d feel inadequate.

Define good in bed.
If I think about it the next day, it’s good.

Who should star in a movie about your life?
I get that I look like Ricky Martin a lot. If he can act, I’d hire him.

Who was your first celebrity crush?
Casper Van Dien. Oh, my God, just for that shower scene from Starship Troopers.

Who gets on your nerves?
Arrogant guys. There’s a difference between being confident and being arrogant.

If your home was burning, what’s the first thing you’d grab while leaving?
My mother died three years ago, and I have part of her ashes. I’d grab those.

What’s your biggest turn-on?
A good face.

What’s your biggest turn-off?

Bad hygiene. Guys that just kind of let themselves go.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet tried?
Great white shark cage-diving to defeat my fear.

What’s something you’ve tried that you never want to do again?
Dye my hair. In high school I had the whole ‘NSync frosted tips going on. That lasted about a day.

Boxers, briefs or other?
I’ve definitely gone to the office without underwear on, but usually briefs.

Who’s your favorite musical artist?
Lady Gaga. I think she’s pretty much amazing.

What’s your favorite website?
YouTube. I love it.

What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?
Ask the Disney World police. Let’s leave it at that.

What position do you play in the big baseball game of life?
I’m definitely a pitcher.

What’s your favorite retail store?
Nordstrom.

What’s the most you’ll spend on a haircut?
$35.

What about on shoes?
$350. Anything more, I’d feel guilty.

What’s your favorite food to splurge with?
Fluffernutter.

What’s your favorite season?
Summer. I don’t mind the heat.

What kind of animal would you be?
Probably a dog. They get the most love and attention from people. I wouldn’t want to be in the wild all by myself.

What kind of plant would you be?
A palm tree on some nudie beach in Brazil.

What kind of car would you be?
A Mercedes g55, black. They look nasty in black — in a good way.

What are you most grateful for?

Just having the opportunity to live in America and being able to do anything I want, really. I’m super-patriotic.

What’s something you want more of?
More hours in the day. Just like two.

State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.
Make yourself happy before you think about making someone else happy.

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