Metro Weekly

Rick Santorum: Google me, you’ll no longer get gay sex

Photo: Rick Santorum. Credit: Gage Skidmore/flickr.

Photo: Rick Santorum. Credit: Gage Skidmore/flickr.

“Google Rick Santorum,” Rick Santorum proudly announced on Fox Business Network’s undercard debate Thursday night.

After more than a decade, it seemed the era of the homophobic former Senator being tied to anal sex was over. Well, almost.

In 2003, Santorum told the Associated Press that the Supreme Court’s striking down of sodomy laws would mean “you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does.”

In response, gay activist and columnist Dan Savage asked his readers to come up with a new definition for “Santorum,” something Google would push to the top of any search results for his name. The winning definition? “The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” The websites santorum.com and spreadingsantorum.com were also purchased to ensure the new definition stuck.

For almost 13 years, Santorum was inexorably linked with anal sex — a fitting tribute to someone so opposed to gay men having consensual sex in their own home.

According to Santorum (man, not feces, though the two are very similar), that’s no longer the case. He urged viewers to Google his name, evidently confident that Savage’s efforts would no longer bear fruit. Or lube. Unfortunately for Rick, he’s only half right. Google “Rick Santorum” and he’s correct, you won’t get any “santorum” mishaps. Google “Santorum,” however, and anal sex appears near the top of the results.

Maybe in another 13 years, Rick?

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Rhuaridh Marr is Metro Weekly's managing editor. He can be reached at rmarr@metroweekly.com.

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