Metro Weekly

Coverboy: Bernardo

Bernardo has an easy smile, swarthy good looks, and enough hair on his chest to put an alpaca to shame.

Coverboy: Bernardo - Photo: Julian Vankim
Bernardo – Photography by Julian Vankim

It should come as no surprise that Bernardo is hardly a fan of Donald Trump. “I think he’s stupid,” laughs the Mexico City native. “I think he’s a comedian. I think his brain is small and closed.” Trump aside, the 27-year-old culinary student and pastry assistant has an easy smile, swarthy good looks, and enough hair on his chest to put an alpaca to shame, making him the perfect first coverboy to relaunch the section. Bernardo’s been living stateside for a year and while he still has trouble with English — particularly comprehending southern accents — he’s come a long way in his ability to communicate since beginning lessons last June. With one exception. “When I’m drunk,” he smiles mischievously. “I don’t speak such good English when I’m drunk.”

What’s on your nightstand?

My grandmother passed away, so I have her picture there. And I have like a — I don’t know how you say it in English, when somebody dies, and you burn their body….

Her ashes?

Exactly. I have her ashes in a little container.

What’s in your nightstand drawer?

I have condoms. I have lube.

When you have sex, do you put grandmother in the drawer?

No. I don’t think she would care.

Are you a night owl or an early riser?

I work in a bakery, and every day I get up early, but I still go into bed late. So both.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

To eat everything. The rich food, the chips, the pizza, the candies. I would love to have this power, because the healthy food is sometimes not delicious and the fatty food is delicious.

What was the last movie you saw?

Spectre. James Bond. The movie starts in downtown Mexico City. Sometimes people think Mexico is the worst place in the world, and it’s not true. That movie showed good things about Mexico.

Coverboy: Bernardo - Photo: Julian Vankim
Bernardo – Photography by Julian Vankim

Is James Bond a sex addict or just a slut?

A bit of both maybe?

Do you understand the word slut?

Of course I know that word. I have a lot of friends that are sluts.

Not after this interview. Name three musical artists that you are currently listening to.

I’m super gay with my music. Selena Gomez. Britney Spears. Taylor Swift.

What are your three favorite nightspots?

I have a lot of favorite places to go, but I like Number 9. I like Trade. I like Town.

What makes an hour happy?

The people who are with you, the conversation.

What’s your drink of choice?

I love margaritas. And by the way, I’m a cheap date. I drink two and I’m drunk. I think that’s good for my body, good for the people who are with me.

Pick three people, living or dead, you’d like to have drinks with.

Marilyn Monroe, because her beauty is so powerful. Ricky Martin, because he’s my husband, I love him. And my grandmother.

What’s your favorite food?

The chicken breast. I love the chicken breast.

Any way in particular?

Fried. You can kill me with that.

What animal would you be?

A lion. It’s a powerful animal. It’s strong. It’s brave. Actually I am hairy like the lion.

What vegetable do you resemble most?

Oh, my goodness. Maybe some hairy vegetable? Corn. Corn is hairy.

Coverboy: Bernardo - Photo: Julian Vankim
Bernardo – Photography by Julian Vankim

Grindr, Scruff, or in person?

In person. The apps are so cold and I am so romantic, I am so warm. I like to have a connection. But if you’re horny, you can use this kind of application, I don’t have a problem with that.

Define good in bed.

The kiss. It’s important for somebody to kiss good.

Where’s the most unusual place you’ve ever had sex?

In a bus.

Apple, or Android?


Marvel or DC?

I love DC.

Not the city, the comics.

Oh, Marvel. Marvel.

Captain America or X-Men?


Star Trek or Star Wars?

Star Wars.

Beyonce or Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. She’s crazy. I like her style.

Selena Gomez or Celine Dion?

Absolutely Selena Gomez.

Poor Celine Dion gets thrown under the bus.

Absolutely. Bye.

Salad or Big Mac?

My angel says, “Come on, you need to eat the salad,” and my devil says, “Come on, you want the burger.” So I love McDonalds, but I need to eat salad.

Sausage or bacon?

Bacon. No, no, sausage. Because I do not like so much the bacon, because bacon is so fatty. I don’t like so much the flavor.

Then why did you say bacon first?

Because I understood the word bacon.

Which of these daddies…

Oh my goodness, I love daddies.

Okay, so which of these daddies would you want to get a spanking from? George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, or Mark Cuban.

Hugh Jackman. And only spanking, only that?

What more would you want?

I don’t know.

Okay, complete this sentence. After the spanking, Hugh Jackman and I would…

Have ice cream together.

Not quite what I was expecting. What’s your greatest fear?

I hate rats. I hate haunted houses. And I hate injections. They make me scream like a little girl.

Coverboy: Bernardo - Photo: Julian Vankim
Bernardo – Photography by Julian Vankim

If your home was burning, what would be the first thing you’d grab while leaving?

My documents and my grandmother.

What was the name of your first pet?


What street did you grow up on?


Camilla Capricorn would be your porn name.

Oh my goodness. It’s so gay.

Yes. Very gay.

Super gay.

What would Camilla Capricorn be known for?

Oh my goodness, that’s a good question. Maybe my laugh.

Not really a porn star talent.

That’s okay.

Does size matter?

Not really, because I’m more of a top than bottom. Actually, when I bottom, I don’t like the big size, because that hurts me.

What would you like to be remembered for?

For my laugh and for my smile.

What do you like best about your life?

My family. I love my family.

What do you like least about your life?

Being so far away from my family. I miss them so much.

And finally, what is your philosophy of life?

Be happy. Life is so short, and all the people have issues in his life, different problems, but you need to try to forget it, you need to smile. You need to have good behavior and good reaction about the situation, because if you get sad, you will have hard time. You need to be happy. Smile.


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