Black Trans Woman Claims Gay Bar Refused to Serve Her
The woman says a bartender refused to serve her, claiming her REAL ID-compliant state ID was "fake" or "invalid."
A Black transgender woman from Detroit says she was discriminated against and denied service at a popular LGBTQ bar in Ferndale, Michigan.
In a TikTok video posted April 15, Lauren, who goes by @gmoprincess, said a dispute over her ID escalated when she tried to buy a drink at Soho around 6 p.m. on April 14.
“I was profiled at a white gay bar in Ferndale, Michigan,” Lauren says in the clip. “I’ve been [to Soho] numerous times before, and never really had issues.”
But Lauren said that this time, a bartender she described as a “butch cis white lesbian” seemed “cold and unwelcoming” when she walked in.
As reported by the Detroit Metro Times, Lauren said she tried to order a mimosa and handed her state ID to the bartender, who inspected it with a black light and said she could not accept it. Michigan’s REAL ID-compliant state IDs and driver’s licenses include security features visible only under UV light to prevent forgery.
In the TikTok video, Lauren said she was confused by the bartender’s refusal to accept her ID, noting it was valid and that she had recently used it at other bars without issue. She asked to speak to a manager.
“By this point she had [an] attitude,” Lauren said of the bartender. “I could hear it in her voice and in the way she was talking to me and her body language.”
Even though the bartender was making her feel “extremely anxious” and “literally shaking,” Lauren waited for the manager as the tension escalated.
“She kept pacing across the bar. Her eyes were literally — I could see the top of the whites of her eyes,” Lauren said. She ultimately confronted the bartender, asking, “Are you being discriminatory? Because this feels like discrimination.”
The bartender became defensive and began yelling, arguing it was impossible for her to be discriminatory because she is a lesbian and Soho is a gay bar.
“I explained to her, ‘You think that white people can’t be racist? You think that gay people can’t be transphobic?'” Lauren said. “Then she replied back and accused me of being ‘cisphobic,’ unironically using that word. By that point, I was laughing.”
The bartender demanded that Laura leave and threatened to call police. She also complained to other patrons, described as older cisgender gay men, who then began “dogpiling” on Lauren and telling her to get out.
In a second TikTok video, Lauren said she later returned with a friend, a transgender Black man who is friendly with the manager, to discuss what happened. She said the manager described the incident as a misunderstanding, claiming the bartender could not verify a state ID but could recognize a driver’s license.
Lauren said the manager apologized and offered them free drinks. The bartender, however, never apologized or acknowledged what happened, even though she served Lauren later that evening.
Later, Lauren said she found Google reviews and Reddit posts from people claiming to have had similar issues with Soho and the bartender.
“The way I see it, they don’t actually care about a safe space,” Lauren said of the bar’s staff. “They do not actually care about the patrons who go in here who are trans or Black, because it seems like there is a pattern of mistreatment at this bar with specific demographics, specifically Black people and trans people.”
Lauren later told the Detroit Metro Times that what made her suspicious about the bar’s explanation was that its reasons for denying her service kept changing.
“There were inconsistencies in what they said,” she noted. “Initially, it was a hologram issue. The bartender then said it was invalid, then she said my ID was fake.… She kept switching the reason. Then the manager said the issue was that it was a state ID, and not a driver’s license.”
Lauren said she received her REAL ID-compliant state ID — which includes her birth name but has a female gender marker — last year and has never encountered a similar problem.
She told the newspaper she is considering filing a complaint with the Michigan Department of Civil Rights.
“I had no intent of, like, causing a ruckus. Mostly it was primarily to express awareness. I liked going to Soho before this experience. I liked going to Ferndale,” Lauren said.
Soho did not respond to an inquiry from the Metro Times about whether the bartender still works at the bar. It did, however, issue a statement to the newspaper outlining its side of the story.
“Recently, an interaction between one of our staff members and a patron escalated in a way that should not have happened,” the bar said in its statement. “The situation began with a request for age identification, which is something we are legally required to do and take seriously. However, the way the interaction was handled did not meet our standards. Comments were made that were inappropriate, and the patron was not treated with the professionalism, respect, and care that every person deserves in our space.”
Noting that the bar’s manager had apologized to Lauren, Soho said it has “addressed the matter” with its team and is “reinforcing expectations around respectful communication, de-escalation, ID verification, and the responsibility every staff member has to help maintain a safe and welcoming environment.”
The statement continues, “We do not tolerate discrimination, harassment, or disrespect toward any patron, including trans patrons, patrons of color, or anyone else who comes through our doors…. Our focus now is on accountability, clarity, and making sure our actions match the values this community has long expected from us.”
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