Metro Weekly

Coverboy: Jesse

What do Patsy, the top of a drier, ancient cultures and Rouge have in common? Jesse has the answers.

Born in Hagerstown, Md., and now a stylist/cosmetologist in Frederick, Md., Jesse can deal with the smaller-town vibe. One sure release is the frequent trips to Puerto Rico, where his boyfriend was once stationed with the Coast Guard. Still, his neck of the woods is changing for the better. ”There are more openly gay people, ranging from 19-year-old clubby boys to married with kids,” says the 26-year-old. “And lots of lesbians out in the country.” When he makes it into D.C., Jesse likes to hit Town and Ziegfeld’s/Secrets. He even tried shaking his own naked moneymaker back when Wet was around and offering amateur night. ”In the moment, I was glad. At least I was brave enough to do it.”

What’s on your nightstand?
An iPhone charger, lamp from Ikea and a giant purple glass vase.

What’s in your nightstand drawer?
There is no drawer.

Where do you keep the condoms?
In the underwear drawer.

What are your television favorites?
Anything reality. I love Mad Men, Modern Family. And reruns of Will & Grace and Absolutely Fabulous.

How many times have you said, ”I’m totally Karen” or ”totally Patsy”?
As far as acting and looking, I am totally Patsy.

What was your favorite cartoon when you were a kid?

What superhero would you be?
Rogue. She could fly, she was super strong, and she had the sexy platinum streak in her hair. I had one for a while.

Who’s your greatest influence?
Definitely my parents. And now my boyfriend.

How has your boyfriend influenced you?
Just seeing the different side of coming out. The response he got was not so positive.

So you’re not best friends with his mom?

What’s your greatest fear?
Not being successful. Not being able to take care of my parents as they get older.

Pick three people, living or dead, who you think would make the most fascinating dinner guests imaginable.
My late grandfather and great aunt, both because I would love to see and hear of they are proud of me as an adult. And Lady Gaga.

What would you serve? The meat dress?
I make a killer tiramisu. It’s easier to talk to people over dessert than raw meat.

How would you describe your dream guy?
This sounds totally sappy, but my boyfriend.

What qualities does he have?
In a positive way, he’s completely the opposite of me. He’s a little more opinionated, not really afraid to do anything. He’s definitely a little rougher.

Define good in bed.
If my legs feel like Jell-O afterward, that’s a good time.

Who should star in a movie about your life?
Adam Levine.

Who was your first celebrity crush?
Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. I was probably 8.

Who gets on your nerves?
People who are really simple, really small-minded. People afraid of change.

If your home was burning, what’s the first thing you’d grab while leaving?
My dogs — a toy poodle and a miniature schnauzer — Guapo and Chico.

What’s your biggest turn-on?
A good bulge.

What’s your biggest turn-off?
Poor hygiene and arrogance.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet tried?
Visit as many ancient cultures as possible.

Is there one at the top of your list?

What’s something you’ve tried that you never want to do again?
Go on a large group vacation. We went to Puerto Rico and got caught up in all this ”First vacation! Whoo!” The group was totally ”ugly Americans.”

Boxers, briefs or other?
Sometimes boxer-briefs, sometimes briefs, sometimes a jock strap. It really depends on the pants.

Who’s your favorite musical artist?
If I could clone Lady Gaga, Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj into one person, that would be my favorite artist.

What’s your favorite website? It’s mostly men’s fashion.

What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?
On top of a dryer.

What position do you play in the big baseball game of life?
Catcher. But I’ve definitely played the field.

What’s your favorite retail store?
Anything that carries clothes I like in my size. All the little skinny bitches shop at the stores I like, so only large is left.

What’s the most you’ll spend on a haircut?
I don’t let anyone do my hair but me. I’ll let my boyfriend trim up my neck, but that’s about it.

What about on shoes?

What’s your favorite food to splurge with?

What’s your favorite season?
Summer. I love the beach. Puerto Rico tops them all.

What kind of animal would you be?
Maybe a macaw, so I could fly. And it’s colorful and tropical.

What kind of plant would you be?
A cactus. It’s pretty, but they can also cut you.

What kind of car would you be?
My car, Lola. A black VDub. 2011 Jetta.

What are you most grateful for?
My parents, my boyfriend and my career.

What’s something you want more of?
Time to just enjoy life.

State your life philosophy in 10 words or less.
Put out good karma and good things will happen.