Metro Weekly

Hearsay

MAL Weekend, Heat, Subairi's fundraiser

Eavesdropping around at MAL Weekend…
A very heated amateur night…
Subairi holds a tsunami fundraiser…

It all started a few Fridays back, at the Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend’s Meet the Meat tour — otherwise known as the Greet the Meat orgy. That kick-off party to one of our community’s biggest and best-known national leather events kept a trio of bars around town Friday night hopping — the D.C. Eagle naturally, but also the Green Lantern and Titan. But no place was hopping more than the Washington Plaza Hotel, the host hotel, where the MAL guests ho and tell. Why should it be any different for Hearsay? Here we go: Titan’s Glenn "Here I Come on the Run With a Burger on a Bun" Mlaker was there in the lobby during the Boots, Cigars and Rhythm Smoker, as were former Mr. MALs hither and yon, including Tom "Koo-Koo-Ca-Choo" Robinson. Others Hearsay ran into as it moo’ed about the barn: Dan "Boom Boom" Bain, Mark "Harness Me" Morgan and Keith "Chap You" Petrack, and an assortment of other familiar folks best remembered by their first names: Big Bob, Gregarious Greg, Hairy Gary, Bigger Bob, Steep Steve, Geronimo Jeremy, Biggest Bob, and Sue the Leather Wombat.

Circling about the place like the smoke from the thick sticks, Hearsay also eavesdropped on some choice verbalations, the likes of which you don’t hear in public but a few times, at most, in a year. Hearsay just has to share these with you, hope you don’t mind. Overheard in the bathroom, where there was always a line and few closed stall doors: "There’s not enough space in here to [unintelligible]." And then, "It’s a shame to waste that [unintelligible], but I just had to [unintelligible]." And later, "[Unintelligible]" and "[Unintelligible]" and, of course, "[Unintelligible]."

Overheard in the lobby, where men wore leather and Levi’s and tees: "Wow, he’s really put on weight." So much for black leather being slimming. And then this barrage of an exchange: "Did you see that Tight End?" "No, I was too busy looking at the Butt Pirate." "It’s soÂ… big!" "It’s not real!" "Is it detachable?" "No it’s inflatable.”

But Hearsay wanted more eavesdropping adventure, so it decided to check out the Plaza’s spacious accommodations. It ended up in the room of a gay German couple who had come to sample the city’s enormous schwanstuckers and the fun really began, though Hearsay really could have done without the Ilsa, the Nazi She-Wolf bit.

Back downstairs, Hearsay saw all manner of accessories, proving that gay men, be they in leather or lace, know the central mantra of fashion: accoutrement! Hearsay saw all styles of armbands, on all shapes and sizes of arms (or maybe that wasn’t an arm?), as well as lock and key neckchains, and neckchains with a leash attached. But Hearsay’s favorite sight: A man in hot red leather pants with a hole in the middle of his, uh, backside. Talk about unsecured access

Is there a glut of amateur strip contests in this city? Nearly every club has one these days, whether the full-monty is allowed or not. Well, whatever your thoughts on the matter, Hearsay must call for your undivided attention to yet one more. The newly opened Heat, in the former space occupied by La Cage, inaugurated a few Tuesdays ago its weekly edition, which earns the weekly exhibition winner $300 plus the chance to compete for a brand new sporty Mazda in a finals competition this spring. A new car you say? Hearsay could use one. And so too could Danny, who was the first Heat amateur winner, beating out perennial amateur contest competitor Brad of the NYPD, and shy-to-shy Steve. Danny’s got familiar features, familiar because he’s no stranger to the local stage. Hearsay won’t reveal any more about dear Danny boy — he’s one secret Hearsay would rather keep to itself….

Finally, Hearsay wants to pay props to Subairi of Subairi Hair Salon at 17th and R Streets, who is also Subairi of Shaw DC and Subairi of Miss Andrea’s head of highlights. But before all that, he was Subairi of Indonesia, one of the countries hit hard by last month’s tsunami. So who better to organize a tsunami benefit? He did so a few Fridays back, where 70 or so of his most compassionate friends and clients showed up after-cutting hours to drink and donate some $1,500 to either Oxfam or UNICEF. All of the Subairi cutting crew was there, from power-washer August (also of Indonesia) to power-wower Mark. And how could Hearsay forget power-talker Salim, who donated the food from the kitchen of his new café across the street, Steam. Also there was Subairi’s No. 1 groupie, Todd "Fuddy Puddy" Elmer, who brought along members of his Unofficial Subairi Fan Club. To certify the benefit’s proper status as a capital-g Gay event, it even had a DJ: Ali of Ozio….

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