Metro Weekly

Horoscope

July 27-August 2, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: You know when you forget something and go back to the house, and find that you also left the burner on? Well, here’s a stroke of good luck wrapped up in an irritating package. Indulge fantasies of the best of all possible outcomes, especially if things should turn from bad to worse. That’s when the chances of fortune pushing to the fore are greatest. Learn to spot opportunities in your adversities, and allies in the tribes that side against you.

Aries: It’s the outcome you’ve got to watch out for. Your application was well designed, but there’s not much that can withstand the force of the unsuspected in full throat. Give yourself credit before you tear the whole thing down in your pique. Salvage is a noble occupation.

Taurus: What do you want, deep down? What would you be prepared to go through to get from here to there? Do you feel that you have the staying power? Have you got the needed flexibility as well? You can make rockin’ lemonade, if you put your mind and hooves to it.

Gemini: Sturm und drang are so often accompanied by tearing of hair and gnashing of teeth. You can skip those bits if you wish, but you’re encouraged to get close enough to the action so that you’re not immune to the catharsis of the dénouement. Clean out your inner closets.

Cancer: You find much to remind you of all that you love and cherish, but those times are not past — even if that’s how you’re treating those old, worn emotions. Allow yourself to dip into the stream of the present to become refreshed and re-centered. Give yourself a pool party.

Leo: It might be the best of all possible worlds, or it might be the best solution under the circumstances. Whichever, it behooves you to behave as though this were exactly what you wanted. It’s not dishonest; it’s just a gentle misdirection. And think of the feelings you save.

Virgo: Not only can we not run from the past, there’s so much there that’s useful it would be a shame to abandon it all in a play for a clean start. Settle for a gently-used start instead, and you’ll find you go from zero palatable options to sixty or so in no time. Run at the club.

Libra: Take it out on your teddy bear, but don’t unload your dissatisfaction on the nearest long-term partner in your life. You’ve gotten into lazy habits of relating, and they’re not good for you or for the health of your relationship. Tone up with loving words and actions Monday.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Wherever you go, you’re likely to come back again, so try not to leave a big mess in your not-inconsiderable wake. You’ll need to be able to call in favors before this is over, and you’ll want those who owe you to think of you fondly, rather than resentfully. Spread light.

Sagittarius: You’ve been walking the walk. If you start talking the talk at this point, you’ll have the respect of your intended audience. Be certain to work on your ”I” messages before you take the pulpit. They love you, but that doesn’t mean they all agree with you. Confess.

Capricorn: Careening around through the do-list of the ages gives you a sense of productive accomplishment. You might wish to vet the do-list to take into account all those sticky items you’ve let bump to the bottom. Once you’ve leavened your uglies, the whole will proceed.

Aquarius: It might be a bumpy flight, but you kind of like the excitement in the turbulence. Don’t gloat around your queasier companions, they’ll imagine you’re malicious. Your ability in the midst of chaos stands you in good stead before the weekend. Use your forbearance.

Pisces: If it were all that easy, you’d be done already. As it is, you’re going to find that there’s a booster-rocket strapped to your engine—and you’d never suspected it’s existence. Throw yourself a fiesta once you’ve taken care of business — that fuel tank has to run low some day.

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Horoscope

July 20-26, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: Aren’t startling revelations and unexpected solutions grand? Haven’t you been longing for more of them, more often? This may be your lucky week. Prepare to meet your doom, go out for dinner, catch a movie, and maybe walk around the monuments in the cooling dark. You’ll find that you have as much to squabble over and pick at as you may choose. Otherwise, you and your fate are well-suited to getting down to those brass tacks and plotting your inevitable ascendancy.

Aries: You’re in an uproar over the littlest things. What are you doing getting your panties in so big a bunch over so little substance? You couldn’t help it because your pride was at stake? Better that you remember that divinity is in the details and stop looking for the devil there.

Taurus: You’re willing to fight for what you want, but you could go farther with a liberal application of charm instead. It’s too hot and bothersome to cause so much fuss. Give yourself permission to relax your standards until you too are relaxed. Sip cool drinks in company.

Gemini: You’ve heard so many variations on the theme that you might be at a piano recital. Sadly, you can’t tell which canary is singing with true pitch. Reserve judgment until you’ve sorted out which birds are of which feather. Don’t forget to take care the pesky stuff first.

Cancer: You’re in a sort of emotional limbo and are uncertain whether you want to surface and face certitude. Yet you’ll be raised to consciousness whether you come along quietly or not. Let your desire, or lack thereof, control the essence of timing on this one. Wear green.

Leo: You’re keyed up and over-ready to qualify for an early response. Is it comfortable being this tense when the weather’s so extreme? You could do yourself a favor, and delay over-reacting for a week or so. If it’s that important, it will keep. If it isn’t, it will go away.

Virgo: You’re all fired up with new fervor, and even a new level of self-appreciation. You could go far, but you’ll have to find your phone, keys and center before you take on the great adventure waiting for you just around the next corner. Prepare for the unexpected Tuesday.

Libra: You’d rather form a connection than sit in judgment, but it’s not your turn to recuse yourself from this onerous assessment. Gird up your loins and get on with applying yourself to the facts. You’ll find that an open mind gathers no prejudices. Watch your source material.

Scorpio: It’ll do, but it’s not what you want? Oh, horrors! If you were docile and prone to bouts of compromise as often as you are to compassion, your voice might carry more weight in this matter. As it is, you’d better turn your attention to the past, as it’s sneaking up on you.

Sagittarius: Watch your patterns. You’ll find there are inconsistencies where you would’ve sworn there were none. You’ll get farther on your charisma than you will with nit-picking, but that’s not news. The stakes have gone up recently and you’re gambling for long-term success.

Capricorn: You can still whistle while you work, but you’re beginning to wonder if you want Disney for your perpetual soundtrack. Indeed, you may need something more adult and less bland if you plan on keeping your attitude sharp and your soul prepped for the next ascent.

Aquarius: It’s not a problem, if you choose to see it from that perspective. Sometimes all the ideologies in the world take a hit from reality. This is one of those times for you. Adapt to the manifest situation, but keep your ethics dry as you’ll need them for warmth and justification.

Pisces: Walk tall. And know that you’re being watched as you progress. Someone is seeing something in you that most people miss. It’s lovely to be recognized for one’s true self. But ask yourself what else you and that special someone really have in common. Is it enough?

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!