Metro Weekly

Horoscope

May 28-June 3, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: You’ve been verging on radical dissatisfaction with the status quo for so long you can’t remember how it felt to be contented all the way from the front to the back of the day. Now’s your chance to use your divinely gifted disgruntlement for purposes as creative as they are selfish as they are liberating as they are courageous. You know you want to. You know you could. And you’ll find you have the will to move forward with grace and precision alike.

Aries: Is it too late? Is it way too early? Is it hard to tell from your point of view on the circle of life? Cut yourself some slack this time. You’ll get where you’re going, and you’ll do it with style — albeit some wincing from the peanut gallery. Take advice.

Taurus: Once in a while it’s your turn to push a little harder. Sometimes you’re in line to make the larger contribution. Periodically, you’re the one with the skill set needed to get ‘er done. Guess what? It’s showtime, and you’re on! Smile as you tap your way through.

Gemini: You are still a contender. In fact, you’ve created a psychological advantage no one could have anticipated. But with the support of your community (not unanimous, but it’s there all the same), you’re back in play and you’re not afraid to show it.

Cancer: Is it up to you to build a new paradigm for leadership? How could it not be? You’ve diagnosed the condition and you have the concern and compassion alike to put the initiative into play, which could make all the difference in the long run. Relax Monday.

Leo: Seeing is believing and you will see what you can’t believe. As a witness to change and an instrument for revolution, you’d better get your game face on and gird up your resolve. Once you’re in the thick of the fray, you won’t have room for doubts. Front.

Virgo: That constant painful mental itch is receding. You’re so accustomed to the irritation you don’t even recognize the relief now it’s in place. Ease up with meditation and extra B vitamins. Build your flexibility, become more alert to outside influences. Reflect.

Libra: You have had about enough. You’ve been bullied and shoehorned and caged up to here. It is officially time for you to bust out of your chrysalis and become the winged harbinger of beauty and reason which is your most perfect expression of self. Play out.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Design takes many faces. You have a gift for pattern recognition. You can see the hidden currents and the subtle motivations which add up to dramatic shifts in trajectory and augmentation to your arsenal of capabilities. How will you implement your powers?

Sagittarius: It’s open season on your assumptions. You’ve been showered with the blessing of reassessment. Provide yourself with options. Gather up alternatives. Harvest the unexpected, unforeseen and unusual. You can make lemonade with all those lemons. Squeeze.

Capricorn: You almost went there. But now you’ve drawn back from the precipice. You’re ready to listen to wiser heads, and those more experienced than yourself. Will you take right action? Will you allow yourself to make the most of what you have? Isn’t it time?

Aquarius: Sensitivity may not be your primary tool going into this cycle, but it could be an amazing ally as you go forward. Simply take a moment to listen and learn and reflect. There’s no real hurry, everyone else is under the same constraints as are you. Wear synthetics.

Pisces: You thrive under pressure so long as you have a means of diverting its direct effects on your psyche. Have you got your methodologies lined up? Are you good with your back-up strategies? The topography is in flux and you don’t have to be the last one to know about it.

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Horoscope

May 21-27, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Things wobble slowly towards maximum stasis. Once they reach their natural still point, they’ll wind back up and begin the process all over again. This is the way things are because this is the way things have always been. Use this cycle to prepare yourself to leap ahead into productivity, outreach and information acquisition. You’ll do well to sort out and through your filing with an eye to culling the useless, the sentimental and the outdated. Give yourself props for color coordination and right accessorization.

Aries: Is it time? Are you there yet? Will being impatient make processes more effective? Will whining speed the plow? If not, you may wish to re-envision your approach to the present in preparation for the near future. Wear cotton for comfort, patterns for style and visibility.

Taurus: Did you believe the hype? Did you fall for the patter? Did you take your eye off the card? It could have happened to anyone. You’re still a contender, but you’ll have to do more with less, since you don’t have as much left to work with. Chin up, tummy in!

Gemini: This is where you face yourself in a darkened room and get real answers to tough questions only you know to ask yourself. This is where you’re called to account by persons whose business it isn’t for reasons that elude you still. Reach out to a helpful Virgo.

Cancer: Has your hood been winked? It’s not unusual to find yourself in a precarious position through no fault of your own. But if you take on paranoia or the persona of the perennially victimized, you won’t get further with the resources still at your disposal. Dream big.

Leo: How can you work over the clamor of the crowds? Even if those are sounds of group admiration, they’re interfering with your concentration — and now’s when you need to get focused so that you’re ready to seize the day and the moment as they become known to you.

Virgo: Stop fussing at yourself right this very minute. You couldn’t have prevented it. You couldn’t have foreseen it. You are not at fault, even if you were within several thousand miles of what happened next. Let the judgment go and get busy picking up the pieces.

Libra: Is there some special gravity well dragging you ever downward and backward? Is the universe that specific? Not really. Sometimes it only feels like you’re on the receiving end of more than your fair share of grief. Loosen up with stretches and a cool beverage.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You could see it all coming toward you like a slow-motion disaster. It was like when you’re in a dream and you can’t move, or speak. But guess what? The whole thing will come to nothing dreadful. The entire matter will be resolved by deus ex machina.

Sagittarius: When will you make up your mind? When will you stop second guessing yourself? When will you let bygones be bygones and step forward into a new era? You can release all that other stuff: It’s old, stinky and not worth your fabulous powers of consideration.

Capricorn: Who knows where the wind goes when it finishes blowing the trailer park away? Who knows where the water drains when it’s busted through the levees? Who knows where the fire dances after it’s burned through everything combustible? Be here now.

Aquarius: You could whirl like a dervish. You could pose like a yogi. You could freeze like a stylite. Or you could internalize your massive revelation and go about your daily life in an enhanced state of awareness and effectiveness. Enjoy transcendence piece by piece.

Pisces: Please yourself first, since others may or may not be able to join you in your appreciation of what matters most. Please yourself first, since you’re the one with whom you must live. Please yourself first, since you know what you like best of all with no reservations.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

May 14-20, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Who’re you trying to kid? Sometimes you must tear it down to build it up. Sometimes you must go back to the beginning and start again to finish. Sometimes you must tell the truth differently to share reality accurately. Be as straightforward as you can. Identify your deepest wishes and desires; be honest with yourself about the path from here to there. Don’t be afraid of the spiral path to your goals — it’s the shape DNA takes for a reason. Rethink strategy Saturday.

Aries: You could, if you had the means to get your stuff together promptly. Too bad you’re not feeling well. Too bad you’re not feeling motivated. Too bad you’re not feeling flush. Would it be worth it if the situation were different? Can you change it significantly?

Taurus: Time and tide may not be on your side in the short term. But you’re in it for the long haul, and you can afford to pace yourself. No, it’s not the most convenient option. Yet it’s the way that is still open. Be as patient as your reputation and reap rewards.

Gemini: If it were up to you, you wouldn’t have to get out of bed until all the fuss was over. If it were up to you, you wouldn’t have to make a decision until you could predict outcomes. If it were up to you, you would have a built-in trapdoor. Hang the curtain, get behind it.

Cancer: There are problems like the Hydra: Cut off one head and others grow in its place. Find the alternative method of reducing friction and opposition. Can you co-opt the difficulty with your considerable charm? Can you use sympathy? Can you afford not to? Reposition.

Leo: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. But the way may not start off in the direction you’d planned on going. Have you got the imagination to see your path unfold along a different trajectory? Have you got the belief in yourself to allow the environment to participate?

Virgo: You couldn’t be more bored with pushing the same damn rock up the hill, again and again. You couldn’t be more tired with facing down the same limitations and objections to your reasonable solution. Couldn’t you be more flexible? Ready to reevaluate and direct?

Libra: There’s a time and a place for everything. You’re running behind and the re-organization has left you adrift in the world of things you can’t find. Still, this may be a chance for you to see with fresh eyes all that there is and all that may come to be. Look closely.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Why are you all fed up when you feel so hungry for the intangibles? Why are you so rigid when you demand fluidity? Why are you ready to hit the warpath to enforce the peace? Your oxymorons are gaining on you. Let outside logic flow in and reshape the dialectic.

Sagittarius: Don’t believe the hype. Don’t propagate the nonsense. Don’t be a part of the problem. Instead, find the means to build yourself a safe perspective from which to pick up the various pieces of your existence and forge them into a meaningful whole. Be patient.

Capricorn: You were the captain of your ship and the master of your soul. Now you’re anxious and adrift. Accept that things are not going as planned. Accept that you don’t control the universe. Accept that alternatives may be the better part of valor. Push!

Aquarius: You’ve been in this circumstance before. You’ve borne the brunt of attention in times of difficulty and not only survived, but made a name for yourself as someone who can come up with the goods when the chips are down. Think outside the box once again.

Pisces: Whether it’s what you wanted to be learning, or whether it’s where you would have chosen to be, you have this one life and the shape of it is as it is. Work within the limits of physical time and space to find the infinite well of potential within you. Call on a Taurus.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

May 7-13, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Gracious! Whatever happened to being gracious in the face of difficulty? Being a mean-spirited winner is almost worse than being a poor loser. Monitor your behaviors vigilantly, so that you resist the temptation to work to the lowest common denominator –you’re still better than that. And you’ve got deeper issues to contend with. Your resources are calling out for a management make-over. You might even be able to listen this time. So mind your manners and let the P’s and Q’s fall where they may. Debunk.

Aries: It’s fierce and intense and you love every minute of it. If only you could escape the constant fussing over the fine print, and the dickering over the last details and the wrangling over the minutiae of execution. Don’t walk away, sit this dance out quietly. Wear a smile.

Taurus: You’ve got the nerve and you’ve got the technology and you’ve got the support from the wings you’ll need to get from here to there. But have you got the motivation to shift so very profoundly, and out of season to boot? Consult your inner oracle with caution.

Gemini: It wouldn’t be the first time. You could nag yourself to death if you weren’t careful. So you made a boo-boo. Let it go and figure out what else you can do with the pieces of your plans. They might serve any number of ends, if you would only let them. Recount.

Cancer: There’s been a change of atmosphere and it’s bringing on a change in direction, which may create a change in outcome, which could precipitate a change in perspective. It’s subtle, but it’s inescapable. You can turn your eyes away, but it will happen with or without you.

Leo: Yes, you have more on your plate than is comfortable for you to work with or digest. You have tight timelines all around you and little margin for error. You have expectations mounting faster and higher than you have time to track. Take a deep breath. Exhale.

Virgo: If you wouldn’t keep pointing out the flaws in the process, you’d free yourself up to get something done. Yes, it would be less than perfect. Yes, it would reflect the impaired planning. Yes, it would require more from everyone involved. But you’d be moving forward.

Libra: It’s never too late to be running further behind. You know this instinctively, though you don’t have time to prove your theorem conclusively. Make space to give yourself a little leeway or a lot of slack. You’ll want to build up your margin for error. Exhibit patience.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: It’s not about whose fault it is. It’s about what you’re going to get done in any case. It’s not about what’s not within your control. It’s about what you do with what is in range. It’s not about how hard you worked. It’s about what your results will be. Reposition.

Sagittarius: You’re over the moon for very little reason. But it feels so good to feel good that you’re hard pressed to rein yourself in. You could take a more sober viewpoint. But you want to enjoy the elation however unrealistic it may be. Ephemera can be your friend. Pay attention.

Capricorn: You’re looking, but you’re not drawn to touch. You understand there’s an implicit commitment in play, and you’re cautious about invoking it prematurely. Watch the passing of information with care and focus. The best laid plans of mice and men, yadda yadda yadda.

Aquarius: Is it conflict if no one is fighting and no one will admit there’s a problem? Is it an argument if no one is saying anything? Is it a defeat if no one else is celebrating a victory? Reframe your concerns and connections; you may find there’s something else going on.

Pisces: You couldn’t dig a deep enough hole to get this one buried in time. You couldn’t create a large enough distraction to get it completely hidden. You couldn’t invoke a larger disaster convincingly enough. But reality will cover for you, if you give it a minute to catch up.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!