Metro Weekly


November 26-December 2, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: There’s a blurring and a softening of boundaries. What once was solid now develops porous qualities, like rock subjected to the gentle force of water plus time. Inside and outside swap positions and lack the clarity of definition to which we have become accustomed. Yet there’s a sense not of wonder in the air but impatience with the impermanence of conditions long considered as givens. Don’t lose your temper with the ground of being and the very nature of things. Enjoy shifting parameters.

Aries: You like yours straight-up and head-on. But now you’re battling subtleties, innuendoes and implications. You could cut the Gordian Knot binding your actions. You could study the perplexity and learn something from it. Or you could sulk in your tent like Ajax at Troy. You choose.

Taurus: It could be a kinder gentler world lit by a thousand points of light and guided by well-meaning, dedicated volunteers. Still, you need to get paid and you like the status of living indoors and having your preferred mode of transportation. Pull both ways to tone up.

Gemini: It could have been simple. It could have been easy. It could have been done by now. But you’ve teased yourself with so many variables you can’t even get off the couch, let alone find your keys and hit the road in good time. So whom should you call to reframe?

Cancer: It might have been too much holiday cheer. It might have been too many expectations. It might have been an excess of emotion coupled with too little time. Yet you are capable of bending the clock itself should your need be great enough. Find your way with charm and hope.

Leo: You want what you want when you want it. You would appreciate the cooperation of the universe at large, but you haven’t had much luck with that lately. Will you run away and hide your head in the sand? Will you take on more and more till you break under the strain? Think.

Virgo: Goopy stuff makes you a little crazy and doesn’t exactly display others in the best possible light. But there’s an emotional strain in the air you would do well to heed and honor. Step outside the box altogether. Your touch of agoraphobia will recede if you let it. Call Monday.

Libra: It isn’t what you’d believed. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It snuck up on you and now you’re in its grip. Okay, your concern is real. Your reasons are valid. Your panic is hard to avoid. But there’s a silver lining and there’s going to be a prize at the end. Hang on.

Scorpio: You don’t often ask permission. You don’t often wait to be told. You don’t suffer fools or any kind of incompetence gladly. Yet you’re not the one with the whip in hand this time. And that isn’t the catbird seat in which you’re sitting. Yet oddly, you’ve got what you need.

Sagittarius: Are you going to beat yourself up? Are you going to suffer torment and remorse? Are you going to fuss and fume and blow your top like a delinquent volcano? Is that the most mature response you can conjure? Get with the program and grow up quickly. Retreat.

Capricorn: You’re as comfortable as you’re likely to get under the circumstances. You’re more than able — you’re ready and willing. But you’re working with a slippery substance and you don’t think you have a firm grasp on the situation. Sometimes you have to damn the details and go.

Aquarius: Persistence is the hobgoblin of the habitually correct. You may be wrong this time. It might not be worth it this once. You could find something you like better if you only look around. Reconsider your strategy when it comes to your finite resources. Locate a mentor Tuesday.

Pisces: You’re as happy as a pig in mud. But you worry about what could happen when you leave the puddle and trot out into the great wide world. Find faith in your fingers and your heart and you’ll be more able to do what you must and find what you wish when you do. Pray.


November 19-25, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: The shift from need to want, from desire to action, from chthonic to combustible begins almost imperceptibly. However subtle, the change will bring a different flavor to everything that comes after it. Are you ready to own your longings? Are you ready to go after what the inch-space of your heart yearns for in the darkest corners of your emotional awareness? Are you able to rock your own cravings, with pride and confidence? It won’t be easy. The best things in life never are. Reconsider Sunday.

Aries: It will seem magnetic. You will believe, as you review events, you had no choice. You will feel compelled, as though you’d been hypnotized. But you’re no puppet on a string. If it’s not your authentic self in action, then you’d better step back and take a deep breath.

Taurus: You know the shape of your most secret wishes. Would it be worth the price to achieve those ends? If not, you might wish to put away those hidden needs. As in ”bury them deep.” As in ”burn them to ash.” As in ”scatter them to the four winds.” Retail therapy serves a purpose.

Gemini: You can cope with the unexpected. It’s more difficult when what you’d been anticipating finally shows up in spades. At least you won’t have to hold your breath anymore. Release yourself into the process without reservation. Look both ways before you cross. Wear stripes.

Cancer: Be very careful what you pray for. You will not only get it, you’ll have custody of its siblings and assume responsibility for its debts. Wishful thinking that manifests into reality may startle you, so take extra B vitamins and get lots of sleep. Try a few laps to tone up.

Leo: Poison? As even if. Your body can handle this and more. But it wasn’t an intentional toxin — more like a by-product of everything else coming on all at once. So it must be time to ease back, and stop playing at being your inner parent. You’re under enough pressure as it is.

Virgo: You could blame everybody else. That would be a falsehood. You could assume the blame yourself. That would be an even bigger lie. The truth is out there, but it doesn’t look like you’ve assumed it would. It may be time to stop and review all the evidence. Save Friday.

Libra: Pennies from heaven are welcome, but hardly enough to get you from here to there and out of the hole in which you find yourself at present. You’re going to have to rework your strategy and rethink your tactics. Don’t let yourself get pushed into defensive measures too early.

Scorpio: You’ve looked around carefully and kept your hands to yourself. How (uncharacteristically) polite. It’s time to get on in there and get them dirty up past the elbow. It’s time to roll in the mud until you aren’t even recognizable to your intimates. Play for keeps on Tuesday.

Sagittarius: No, it’s not your fault. No, you didn’t mean anything by it. Yes, it’s too late to go back and do the whole thing over. Yes, this can still be exactly what you’d wanted. Yes, you can still bring your nearest and dearest with you. Yes, you have the juice to git ‘er done.

Capricorn: You’re not bitter; you’re lonely. You’re not defeated; you’re retrenched. You’re not finished; you’re repositioning. These aren’t excuses. What they are is the literal truth. So let go of what isn’t and get on with what can still happen in the time you have. Wiggle harder.

Aquarius: You’re a good sort. All of everybody thinks so. But the power-crazed nut who tries to control your every unpredictable action can’t be reconciled to the essential truth of your nature. That’s okay. You must go about your business as though that obstacle weren’t there. Pretend.

Pisces: You are already perfect in your manifestation. You are already replete in your nature. You are already ready in your heart of hearts. So get up and get on with making all your own dreams come true. Fairy godmothers exist and you are one of their number. Practice.


November 12-18, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Oh my! What can anybody do when the rock and the hard place are in collusion? Well, bring it out into the open. Talk about the issue. Share your information and trade it forward for other pieces of the puzzle. You’ll soon see a) the whole thing runs deeper than you had supposed, b) it’s trickier than you had imagined, and c) there’s an unorthodox solution which depends on your cleverness and derring-do. Now take your courage and your wit into your hands. Go there.

Aries: You’re so brave, fearless and impetuous. Now lay down carefully. Stretch full out. Increasing your surface over the unstable matter should delay that persistent sinking sensation. You can take yourself out of the quagmire, but you must be patient and cooperative. Go to.

Taurus: It isn’t a perfect solution. In fact, the compromises suck and the outcome is not what you expected. However, there are unexpected reprieves from the worst of the decision hoving to on the horizon. Start a fire on the beach to get the attention of whatever’s out there.

Gemini: You’ve wandered in the desert eating lizards and cacti and god-knows-what. You’re half out of your mind with the isolation and the strange biochemical interactions. But you have gained wisdom and you will be able to share that message once you can see clearly. Focus early.

Cancer: You’re on a roll, with coleslaw and a tired pickle on the side and an inadequate paper plate below you. Welcome to the picnic of life! Watch out for ants. Don’t be so bland and unassuming that you’re forgotten and become the source of food poisoning. Be eaten gladly. With joy.

Leo: Who you gonna call? Your siblings, of course. Somewhere out there is the right set of minds and hands and backs. These people understand who you are, how you got there and what usually comes next. You need good advice, and they have it (this time anyway). Say thank you.

Virgo: It’s not about coming out on top. It’s all about not being all the way at the bottom. This is an exercise in pace and endurance and fortitude and better planning adapted as you go along. It might also be about all those lovely things you collect around you. Sort through them.

Libra: Tempo shifts reveal more than you might surmise. If you’re not thorough in your research, you’ll overlook the obvious to your own detriment. Take your time, read through everything you have. Make sure none of the pieces is missing. Ask a crony to help you review.

Scorpio: You’re not intimidated. You’re not thrown off. This wasn’t what you’d thought it would be, but you can still git ‘er done. So gird up your loins and go forth bravely and with the courage of your convictions as your shield. Send away for independent confirmation by Tuesday.

Sagittarius: It’s not always going to be fun. But it will be a huge challenge ’til you get the hang of it. Soak yourself in the knowledge base. Ratchet back your expectations. Plan for contingencies you don’t yet grasp. Remember your dependence upon the kindness of strangers.

Capricorn: You’ve looked within yourself and you’ve looked outside yourself. The problem lies at the border. Learn more about how these conditions meet and where and what happens next. Quantum physics and meditation are the shortest routes currently available.

Aquarius: You’re as good as they say. You’re even better. But you have a habit of self-sabotaging when you least expect it. Will you continue in this scattershot pattern of effectiveness? Will you analyze the loop to figure out how to interrupt the self-defeating cycle? Ask a Libra.

Pisces: It’s in your hands as much as anybody’s. You have more say-so than you believe — and faith is key right about now. So get your act in gear. Stop worrying over the scale of the project and get on with making the impossible your bitch. Take a retail therapy break this weekend.


November 5-11, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: The spotlight is on the harvest of your ego-based investments. What have you made of yourself lately? What does it bring on the open market? Would you be willing to redirect altogether if it made you more desirable in any forum, known or unknown? Are you courageous enough to examine the choices and practices that have taken you this far? Look for the fault lines. Listen for what can’t ring true. Get in touch with your core values and bring them to the surface intact.

Aries: It might not have been what you intended when you started out. You may find the collateral damage runs deeper than you had at first believed. But you have more experience, awareness and fluidity of response than when you set out. Use your newfound powers for good.

Taurus: You’re as stubborn as they come; but you’re an apple that didn’t fall far from the tree, either. Try not to get into it with your family of origin this time. Try not to rub anybody’s nose in anything until well after the crisis of discipline passes. Call a Capricorn for support.

Gemini: Well, you’re no saint, and your relatives stand shoulder to shoulder with you in any case. Since you have them, you can go out for more — or you can stand back and let the parade get on. It’s not as though you need to join the circus. Your daily life has clowns already.

Cancer: Passion can move mountains. Passion can cloud judgment. Passion can start a revolution. Passion can cause homicidal behavior. The point being that there are many ways to express yourself when you’re in the grip of strong emotion. Count to 10, take a deep breath. Wait for it.

Leo: You wanted a challenge. You wanted an open-ended adventure. You wanted to be the best version of yourself possible. Now that you’re midway through the cycle you elected to enjoin, you may wish to reassess your commitment of resources, time and motivation. Wear burgundy.

Virgo: It wasn’t always about the big, fancy picture. It wasn’t always about stroking the ego until it fell back asleep. You’re tired of appeasement. You’re tired of the party line. You’re tired of mealymouthed feedback and the essential insincerity around it all. What do you want now?

Libra: Are they there for you in any meaningful way when the goodies hit the fan? It’s a simple litmus test. Is it too simple? Are there valid extenuating circumstances? Could you find further reasons to prevaricate and waffle with yourself over the answers? Refresh perspective Monday.

Scorpio: You can shine, if you’ll let yourself. You can do anything you really want to do. You can be anything anywhere you may choose. But you’ll have to throw your whole self into it. You can’t hold out, hold back or hold off if you want the whole enchilada to fall into your lap.

Sagittarius: You understand what those outstanding warrants are about. You get why those deep questions still stymie philosophy departments everywhere. You comprehend the tension between necessary and profitable endeavors. So don’t get bitter, get published!

Capricorn: “Share and share alike” sounds good in principle. In fact, it’s been a cornerstone of your personal foundation. But now you’re wondering if all that service to the relationship has begun to pay back your investment of time and energy and outright devotion. Build.

Aquarius: Wouldn’t it be romantic to get away — maybe even all by yourself? You need a change of pace. You need a refresher. You need to step back from the humdrum of day-to-day life, far enough and long enough, to get some perspective. ”Whither best practices” is your battle cry.

Pisces: Please yourself and you’re likelier to please others along the way. There’s no point in making yourself sick by trying to squeeze into a form so alien you have to contort past recognition. And will it get you accepted? Not likely. So let go. Cut loose. Open up. Be out there.