Metro Weekly


December 31, 2009-January 6, 2010

Heavenly Round Up: It’s hard to believe that the days are already getting longer. It’s hard to believe in the sun behind that ominous bank of clouds. It’s hard to believe that the emotional fallout will eventually dissipate, leaving you stronger and more capable than ever. Go on ahead and gird up your loins. You’ll be called on to put your shoulder to the grindstone and do your utmost to make those New Year’s resolutions worth keeping. You have the will, the way and the support. Get going!

Aries: You’ve fallen behind. You’re a little self-pitying. You’re on the brink of a breakthrough, but you’ll have to stick to it if you want to reap the benefits of all you’ve invested so far. Don’t try to change horses in midstream; all you’ll get is wet and cranky!

Taurus: You’re so busy looking before you leap that you haven’t taken into account how much is changing as you let time slip by. It’s important to know the scenario and the footing. But it’s also important to know when and how to act to make the most of the situation.

Gemini: With this new year, you might resolve to be more timely. You might resolve to be more constant. You might resolve to be more transparent. Then again, you might resolve to encourage others to mind their own business and leave you alone. Scrooge much?

Cancer: Not simple. Not easy. Not cheap. You want what you want and you’re prepared to go out of your way (a long way out of your way) to get what you want. That said, you might consider other factors in the mix. What does your partner say? What about your friends?

Leo: Time and tide are pressing you in ways that would have been hard to believe even a year ago. But you’re a new person, and these are new situations in new times. So bring a fresh perspective to your life adventure. Be prepared for things to get weirder and wilder both.

Virgo: You’re serious as a heart attack, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a great sense of humor. So why not demonstrate this faculty to others? Why not cut loose and let go and just enjoy for a few hours? No one’s going to tell on you—not this time. Wear textured patterns.

Libra: You’ve got all the time in the world—in your fantasy life anyway. Since you don’t, it behooves you to make the most of your planning and organization so that you can cram as much life into your allotted span as is humanly possible. What would you really like to do?

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

Dec 22-Jan 20

Jan 21-Feb 19

Feb 20-Mar 20

Mar 21-Apr 20

Apr 21-May 21

May 22-Jun 21

Jun 22-Jul 22

Jul 23-Aug 23

Aug 24-Sep 22

Sep 23-Oct 23

Oct 24-Nov 22

Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Anything worth doing is surely worth the challenge to your ingenuity, flexibility and sheer persistence. So quit whining and get on with getting on. Remember, you wouldn’t want to play if the game were something anyone could win. Train harder and go farther each day.

Sagittarius: It’s not a punishment. It’s a call to which you must rise. It’s an obstacle you must overcome. It’s a karmic debt you’d rather pay than carry forward. Your choices are your own. The consequences may be unexpected, but they aren’t more than you can manage.

Capricorn: You’ve been to the bottom of the sea looking for something precious. It might have been under your pillow the whole time, or out back in that bluebird’s nest. Give yourself credit for trying so hard. Then sit down and workout how you might have done it easily.

Aquarius: Heaven helps those who help themselves, but that doesn’t mean you should be waving your elbow across your neighbor’s plate. Instead, help others as though they were yourself and you’ll find you aren’t mistaken in that assumption. Let your life speak out.

Pisces: You’ve dreamed of a different world for yourself. You’ve been there, but not when you’re awake. What would it take for you to trust yourself to make these hopes real? How far out on a limb are you willing to go to be who you’d like best to be? Who will come with you?



December 24-30, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Is this a new beginning on old foundations? A reckoning for a bill you thought you’d already settled? A magical opportunity to receive what you’ve prayed for, with no ifs or ands or buts? It’s all of these and more. There’s a chance to look at your energy levels. Retrace your steps to find where you were playing to your strengths and where you let bravado cover your tracks. You have time to do this right, even if it isn’t the first time anymore.

Aries: You want to be jolly, but instead you’re roaring like a caged lion. You want to be generous, but you don’t have any more to give. You want to be nice, but naughty is always so much more gratifying. Let your urges show you how to be warm and genuine both.

Taurus: You’ve been looking for a long time now. Suddenly, you make the breakthrough of your dreams. Only the matter points to having to work backward to get to where you can make the most of the developments. Patience is your best ally. A merry heart is your armor.

Gemini: Were you really trying your hardest? Or did you just put on a good show? It’s time to pay the piper, and you’ve led everyone a merry dance so far. Will you empty your pockets to make good, or will you flim-flam someone else into footing the bill? Ask twice.

Cancer: You’ve been convinced of an essential error for sometime now. It can’t be avoided forever. You have to face the music and deal with the fallout. But you have the skills you need to walk in through the front door and make good on your assertions. Call Saturday.

Leo: You fell for this one before. Now you have to pick yourself up and get on with making reality work for you without the magic bullet. You know what needs to be done, and as soon as you’re feeling more the thing you’ll jump right on it. Don’t put it off past this Sunday.

Virgo: It’s not your fault. You weren’t there to make the decision. You weren’t the one who propounded the theory. You weren’t the one with the grand vision. But you’re on clean-up detail nonetheless. Get out your broom and don’t forget to whistle while you work.

Libra: These are the times that try one’s soul. But they will also fill the darned thing to the brim with wonderful memories and sentimental enjoyment, if you can stop playing the Grinch long enough to look around. Focus on what is working and going right. Let the rest be.

Scorpio: It’s not a necessity, but you’re still willing to pay for it body and soul. Isn’t it interesting when you come down with one of your obsessions? How will you get everyone else to buy in? How will you make the cost balance with the experience? Whom do you trust now?

Sagittarius: It’s an ill wind that blows no good. And you may have the cobwebs and dust swept from your perspective in order that you bring your whole self to the table to do some real business. Are you good for your assertions? Can you convince anyone else? Jump.

Capricorn: You don’t mind the larger workload. You don’t mind the confusion of integrating the systems. You don’t mind the collateral commitment. But you’re getting darned tired of being taken for granted. You are not a garden gnome. You are a lively, loving participant!

Aquarius: It’s floating up in the air, but you’ve spotted the balloon and you’re taking bead on this potential rise in your future expectations. Don’t let the thrill of the challenge distract you from the necessary minutiae of daily life. You have too much on your plate already.

Pisces: You didn’t start it, but you hope no one cares if you stay and watch to see how it all turns out. You’re more than ready to pitch in if anyone asks, but you feel shy about getting underfoot. Don’t wait. You’re wanted. They just can’t figure out how to ask properly.


December 17-24, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: It’s crunch time! There’s a hard row to hoe ahead. In fact, the tunnel is longer and darker than your advance team knew and you’re wondering whether you’re ever going to need day-vision again at this rate. Relax. If you plug away at the work in front of you, you’ll be through the morass and out the other side sooner than you know. It won’t be easy, but it will be satisfying and it will build skills you want for the future.

Aries: Take a hands-on approach and you can’t go wrong. Get down and get dirty and show the world you’re committed. Go in early, stay late, cover for someone with a more complicated life than yours. You’ll feel the holiday spirit in spades, and you’ll be garnering favors for later.

Taurus: It’s easier to be cranked off than it is to git ‘er done. It’s easier to throw up your hands than it is to sit down and think it through. It’s easier to talk about how hard it is than figure out what your first steps are to seeing the thing through to completion. Join the dance.

Gemini: You won’t skate through this one. You won’t slide on under the radar. You won’t escape detection. But you will be able to hold yourself accountable. You will be able to get everything checked off on your to-do list. You will be able to show the world how stand-up you are.

Cancer: No picnic? No rose garden? No walk in the park? Fine. You’re tough enough to get from here to there without everything having to be perfect, or perfectly easy. You’re experienced enough to know when to call on your friends and acquaintances to get more done sooner.

Leo: Don’t give up. Don’t throw in the towel. Don’t walk away angry. Instead, do a thorough post-mortem so that you can identify where things went off the rails and what you can still do differently to create outcomes you desire. Walk the talk on Saturday for respect. Wear gold.

Virgo: You’re a trouper and it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. So tune up your vocal chords, you’re in the chorus and the sound wouldn’t be complete without your contribution. Get yourself a little something when you’re out finishing your holiday shopping chores Tuesday.

Libra: Sensitivity serves you in some instances. This isn’t one of them. Strap on your high-impact body armor and get your game face on. You’ll have more to do than you’d expected and less time to reflect and reboot than you’d hoped. Go with the flow on Friday night.

Scorpio: Is it time to take stock? Are you ready to go through your personal inventory? What do you still need? What can’t you do without? What would you gladly sacrifice to make the dream come true? How much harder are you willing to push and at what cost? Answer carefully.

Sagittarius: You didn’t used to be a sissy. But this is difficult. And it’s painful. And it doesn’t seem to be over, though you’d been promised it would be long since. You know what we’re talking about here. So man-up and put your big-girl panties on: It’s time to get non-traditional.

Capricorn: Weren’t you the one they saw in the corner of that place where no one you know ever goes, and so you ran into everyone you’d rather not have seen? Was it as bad as you’d feared? Was it much, much less of a deal? See, the universe loves you and wants your joy!

Aquarius: Heaven helps the ones who help themselves, and others as the occasion arises. Heaven looks with favor on those who go above and beyond the letter of the law to the spirit of the matter. Heaven respects and showers with blessings those who bring their ”A” game.

Pisces: You can swim backward as well as forward. Sometimes the way through is back. In this instance, you may wish to retrace your steps until you get to the point where the point was lost. Take a good look around once you’re there. What needs to change? Reflect.


December 10-16, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: You’ve been hit from your blind spot so often you’re feeling punch drunk. And the Universe isn’t finished with you yet. The good news is this last blow should be the one that opens you up to personal enlightenment and enough fresh perspective to set you on the best-of-all-possible roads to fulfillment. You know you want it. Wouldn’t it be lovely if all you had to do was persevere? The future can be yours. Send no money, only sincere desire for positive, productive change!

Aries: You’ve been lost in translation for a while now. Fear not. You’ve developed an unexpected fluency in making your ignorance into a key strength. Go with that flow to create expertise in a field new to you, but old to the world. Wear something bright and flammable.

Taurus: Surfacing, you find the world has changed whilst you slept the chthonic sleep of your kind. It’s a funny time of year to poke your head above ground and get on with photosynthesis, but you’re stubborn and your sense of timing is virtually impeccable. Sprout wisely.

Gemini: It wouldn’t be the first time and it certainly isn’t going to be the last. You’ve struck that vein of lucky before and now you’re seasoned enough to know how to max out on the benefits inherent in this piece of serendipity. Shout out to your old school crowd Tuesday.

Cancer: The time is right to let fate carry you on to your next major life cycle. Let the tide pull you and your instincts serve as your inner GPS system. The wisdom of the moon competes head-to-head with the necessity of the technology age. You will be the clear winner in this match.

Leo: You could continue to lay back with your eyes shut and hope it all just goes away. Or you could exert yourself to the top of your bent and everything might well take just as long, but at least you would be keeping toned and building collateral skill sets. It won’t be easy Sunday.

Virgo: Walk out of the world and into your sanctum sanctorum. It’s time to have a deep conference with your most private hopes and secret desires. Now is a time when you might set the ball rolling towards any goal you were brave enough to embrace. Can you afford not to?

Libra: Yes, you’re still confused. No, there’s not a lot to be done to sort things out. You might offer a calming presence to others, but that would presume on your own state of mind. You’ll find chamomile tea, extra B vitamins and a few minutes on the meditation pillow help.

Scorpio: You are not alone. But you’re not in step with anyone else in particular either. Share what you’ve learned and save the complaints, since they won’t carry the force or direction you desire. Give yourself points for staying cheerful, and then do so without delay. Laugh aloud.

Sagittarius: It’s not your problem. It’s not anything you can do anything about. But you can listen. You can act as a sounding board. You can apply reason if necessary. You can dispense sympathy if required. You can be a part of the solution. Leave your ego in the coat-check. Work.

Capricorn: Buckle down and prep yourself for the winter to come. You’ll be on point for much of the season. It will be less of a hassle if you’ve done the internal heavy lifting beforehand. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself right now. Nothing is served by delaying the pleasure of company.

Aquarius: Sensitive much? It’s not like you to get so involved. It’s not like you to take it so personally. It’s not like you to lose it like that in front of people. But there’s nothing wrong with a little deviation from the norm. Give yourself props for going to the mat Friday.

Pisces: You love surprises, sometimes. But this one might be a teensy bit inconvenient. At the same time, there will be a heavy irresistibility factor playing for your empathy. You still have a choice. It’s just not going to be all cut and dried like you’d hoped for. Reassess thoroughly.


December 3-9, 2009

Heavenly Round-Up: Suddenly the stupidity reaches critical mass and pops like a zit whose time is at hand. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Now you’re all out of anticipation. Excuses dissolve and obstacles melt away like rainbows when the sky clears. You’re stuck with moving forward. You’re forced to leave emergency preparedness and actually spring into action. There’s a trick or two still up your sleeve. Don’t hesitate to go there. Eat your Wheaties, take your vitamins and get plenty of sleep.

Aries: You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and, gosh darn it, people like you, too. So see if you can lose that chip on the shoulder. If not, you’ll be next in line for the chiropractor. You could get in the mood by crossing things off your list, whether they’re naughty or nice.

Taurus: You generally prefer to hunker down against the fierce elements, but you don’t have that luxury at present. Pace yourself as you rise to the occasion and forge through to a clearer future. You’re easily distracted when you dislike the task at hand. Use trickery.

Gemini: It’s not as easy as you make it look and that might be part of the problem. Would you consider making it seem more difficult than it is? Would you consider doing less with more attention to detail and therefore greater satisfaction? Would your spirit be willing?

Cancer: Even with your hands behind your back, you may be able to break hearts with a single word or glance. Understand the power of your charm and try to use your gifts for the greater good. You can’t remember the last time you were so free and unfettered.

Leo: Didn’t you wish for exactly this? Now that your dream has come true it may be too late to edit out those factors leading to the unintended consequences you’ve been experiencing lately. You’ve been finding it hard to reach out lately. Take time to connect with your old posse.

Virgo: You’re not bad; you’re not even drawn that way. But there’s something of a witch hunt in the air and you might be on the short list for inquisitional attentions. Will you attempt to conform? Will you stand for your beliefs and damn the consequences? Will you find the middle path?

Libra: You don’t have to feel singled out. You don’t have to think you’re isolated. You don’t have to get all agitated. You have to reach out. You have to use your words. You have to cling to the familiar, while at the same time stretch toward the future with both hands.

Scorpio: If it were easy you wouldn’t be interested. If it were cut and dried you wouldn’t stay engaged. If it were quick it wouldn’t be worth the energy. So quit your bellyaching and get on with finding out how to solve the labyrinth. Take a ball of thread and a fresh commitment.

Sagittarius: You can’t help being vain. You can’t help landing on your feet. You can’t help knowing what’s going to happen about a split second before it does. You could go even further with what you’ve put together. Or you could stick around and do a really bang-up job of work.

Capricorn: You weren’t the first, but you might be the last. You weren’t the eldest, but you might be the most capable. You weren’t the quickest, but you might have the stamina to stay the course. Given all that, where are your second thoughts now? Whom do you trust to help?

Aquarius: You are as you were made and you like what you like when you like it. It’s pleasant when all the world agrees, but you share with Rhett Butler the magnificent ability not to give a damn. So proceed at your own pace toward that which you deem worthy. Enjoy the view.

Pisces: Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, you often choose to go swimming. If you go down, you’ll be in your element; and you’ve always wanted pearls for eyes in any case. Bring an inflatable with you this time out. You’ll be able to relax and learn more thereby.