Metro Weekly

Horoscope

May 27-June 2, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: Talk about a sea change. Is everything in flux, or is it just you as the shifts through which you’re going simply color your vision of the world? Hard to know, really. And more than that, beside the point. You perceive it; therefore it is real enough to count, to respond to, and to refocus your awareness. Get over the semantics of what’s in your head and what’s real. You have work to do, even if it’s almost wholly imaginary at present. If you build it….

Aries: Why can’t they just say what they mean? Why can’t they stop jawing and get on with doing? Why can’t everybody else get their heads together enough to get on with what needs doing? All good questions, but don’t let others stop you from getting ‘er done. Act.

Taurus: You’re more than ready to re-shoulder the burden. You might wish to consider using your other shoulder, though. The first one is still pretty stressed from all you’ve been carrying this last long while. Now you have a shot at a change of direction, perspective.

Gemini: You could be the ultimate winner in a showdown this week. You would need perfect timing. You would need inside information. You would need nerves of steel. You would have to pay close attention to what is actually going on, and not your own assumptions.

Cancer: Don’t blink, or you’ll miss it. You knew things were going to be different. You felt it would be sooner rather than later. You suspected the underlying cause was more complicated than advertised. Will you be comforted to find that you’re right on all counts? Believe.

Leo: Health concerns yank on your shirttails like bratty 4- year-olds. Worldly concerns, such as job satisfaction and your untenable neighbors, wrestle for primacy in your do-list of attention. The details are piling up, and not getting prettier for the long wait. Breathe.

Virgo: You could go back and forth on this one forever. It’s not clear to you where your focus should be. It’s not clear to you how to balance what you owe yourself with what you owe your family. It’s not clear to you how you will stay in your field and find real completion.

Libra: Okay. Take a deep breath. Take two — you’ve been running the hamsters’ race and it’s worn you out. If you could think clearly, you might choose to ponder your options. For a long time, you’ve been convinced you’re on a one-way street. Is this really the case?

Scorpio: The road to hell is paved with good-intentions. The process of stasis is bolstered by procrastination. It is more than past time for the dam to crack and all the necessary bits and bobs to come flooding out all at once. You’d rather be overwhelmed than underengaged.

Sagittarius: Woo-hoo. You’re not going to be caught with your pants down (unless that’s your intention). You’re not going to take any wooden nickels (unless you’re collecting them for an installation piece). You’re not going to be surprised (unless it would be more fun).

Capricorn: It’s not that you don’t like working hard. It’s not that you’re bored. It’s not that you’re feeling a little trapped by your choices. It’s that all of a sudden something you want more, something requiring less compromise, has reared its lovely head and started singing.

Aquarius: When the going gets tough the weird turn pro. You’re ready to own your inner weirdo and get on with making it work for you on the professional level. You’re done with fitting in and conforming. You’re busting your move, and you don’t care who sees you.

Pisces: You could let it go, but that would be a terrible waste. You could give it up, but you don’t feel the moment has come. You could walk away, but you’re pretty sure it’s yours and you were here first. Is there another alternative? Is there another possibility?

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Horoscope

May 20-26, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: Time is a river upon which we float. Keep this metaphor in mind should you decide to swim upstream to take care of something now behind you. There’s a lot of energy involved in fixing the past. Is it the best use of your resources, or could you move forward remembering that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure? On Monday you should have a firmer idea of the ground upon which you wish to stand. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Don’t forget!

Aries: You’re in it for what you can bring out alive and is able to assist you in your own endeavors. Go on letting people believe you’re as altruistic as all that. It won’t hurt your reputation to have this on the books. You’ll do better by dressing up for the event rather than down.

Taurus: It’s been building a long time. You’re ready for your close-up. You’re ready to stand up and be counted. You’re ready to speak your piece and you’re no longer afraid of the potential fallout. The courage of your convictions is beautiful. You’ll be rewarded Friday.

Gemini: It’s time to open the floodgates and let all the small fry through with the big fish upon whom you’ve had your eye lo these many moons. You’ll be bringing home the fat catch — and you’ll be applauded as the mighty hunter you really are. Wear a nice pattern.

Cancer: You’re not bored; you’re overwhelmed. You’re not moribund; you’re trapped. You’re not foolish; you’re afraid. You’ll find all manner of inaccurately ascribed motives dropped on you in the cycle to come. Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Silence is plausible.

Leo: It’s a lot to think about. It’s a lot to put up with. It’s a lot to bear. But you have a strong back for the journey ahead and you’re not afraid to make the hard decisions and wrest satisfaction from getting the job done, however slow a process that may be. Enjoy.

Virgo: There’s quite a bit to do. You’re the one upon whom the brunt of it has landed. Is it your perennial competence? Is it your aura of bustling goodwill? Is it your experience with difficult matters such as this has evolved into? All that and your winning smile.

Libra: Don’t look down if you’re afraid of heights. You stretched yourself and you’ve reached the top of your ambitions in the field. You had no idea it would be this kind of a process. You had no idea it would take the time it has. You had no idea you would succeed.

Scorpio: You’re in it to win it, as always. But you’re going to have to focus. You’re going to have to call in a mess of favors. You’re going to have to tap your network and everyone else’s to get from here to where you really want to be. Use the force on Saturday.

Sagittarius: Sometimes looking over your shoulder is the worst thing you can do. Sometimes it’s the smartest. Into which category have you fallen? Your graceful clumsiness might even compensate for the stumble at that crucial moment. Rely on your allies and cronies to tell you.

Capricorn: You’re the one with the most to gain. You’re the one with everything on the line. You’re the one who will stick with it through thick and thin to get from here all the way to there. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by naysayers. They don’t have a clue.

Aquarius: You have seen the future and it has a funny shape. Funny as in peculiar is the size of it. Since it wasn’t what you expected, you have choices. You can walk away and throw your hands up. You can stick it out and see if you like surprises. Think hard.

Pisces: There’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma stuffed inside a deep-fried taco shell, or something. It will be a delightfully lighthearted solution to a matter you’d thought was deep and thorny. There are great surprises around most of the corners this week. Allow them!

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Horoscope

May 13-19, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re walking the walk, but the talk’s not coming out right. You’re manning up, but the situation may call for more sensitivity than direct action. You’re a maverick, but the pool of interested parties is middle-of-the-road. Is it time to jump the shark? Has that moment already passed? You’re not ready to be a wannabe. You’re not ready to stick your spoon in the wall and call it all good. You’re not ready for the last dance, and you’re prepared to make a scene. Hmmmm.

Aries: Is it the beginning of the end? To which end is this the titular beginning? If you’re not sure of your purpose, your direction or your motivation, you would do well to hold still and not call attention to yourself just yet. Gather your wits before you go for notoriety!

Taurus: You’ve been slogging along, pretty well and pretty happily. But suddenly, the notice comes in the mail. Suddenly, the phone rings. Suddenly, there’s a shift in the osmotic forces of life and you’ll find it’s past time to make a serious adjustment to what you took for granted.

Gemini: You could have called, but your phone was out of juice. You could have walked, but you thought it would be faster to ride. You could have told the truth, but you dislike disapprobation. Under the circumstances you may have to make different choices fast. Ask Libra.

Cancer: Are you the one they thought you were when they asked you onboard? Have you changed, has the scene changed or has the air cleared enough that now everyone has a clearer perspective on the situation at hand? It’s a long row to hoe, have you got the chops?

Leo: You have all the time in the world to get it right—so long as you get it right the first time. You have all the understanding you need — so long as you don’t make even one mistake. You have all the support anyone could want — so long as you continue to toe the party line.

Virgo: Now may or may not be the winter of your discontent. If it is, you might start looking for the glorious summer, which is certain to follow as long as you strategize now and stay tactically adroit in the face of the changing conditions. Don’t be afraid to spend a little more.

Libra: You didn’t know what you were getting into when you got started. You didn’t know what the array of outcomes was when you made your initial choice. You didn’t know who was involved behind the scenes when you took center stage. Change your state of awareness.

Scorpio: It isn’t the first time you haven’t brought your ‘A’ game. But now you have fences to mend and a lot of catching up to do just to get to par. Are you still a contender? You’ll have to be the judge of that. Seek out your cronies for slightly immoral support on Saturday.

Sagittarius: You peeked and ruined the surprise that had been prepared. You asked and disappointed those who’d hoped you would stay mum on the topic. You listened in and heard that which gives nobody pain but yourself. Now stop sulking, own it, and get on with it.

Capricorn: Would you cross the river when you come to it? What if it were the Rubicon and there was no going back, no taking back, no crossed fingers or toes? Can you commit to the full enchilada? Can you go the distance with no reservations? Take advice Sunday.

Aquarius: It’s not like you haven’t been working hard. It’s not as though you wished everything were as complicated as it’s suddenly gotten. It’s not that you enjoy going through operatic-grade stress and angst. So wipe that smirk off your face and get your hands dirty.

Pisces: You wished upon a star, but it was Backward Day in heaven. Now you have something like the mirror image of your desire staring you in the face. Take a deep breath. Shut your eyes. Listen to your heart and resolve to get the most you can out of this moment.

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Horoscope

May 6-12, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: Between things seen and unseen lay the doors of perception. Will you walk across the threshold into the unknown? Will you glance through the peephole suspicious of what you do not know and never previously acknowledged? Will you leave the chain on the door so that nothing gets through in either direction? A door offers so many options of response. But you are what acts upon opportunities. You are the creator of your own future, and the only barrier to your true past. Think about permeability and osmosis.

Aries: It wasn’t you alone. It wasn’t even intentional. It was what it was, and now it’s a big mistake snowballing out of control. You don’t mind so much. You’d been feeling the static lately, and you’d rather be miserable and active than content and trapped. Choose again.

Taurus: Look around carefully. The landscape is in the process of changing, irrevocably and irreversibly. Don’t memorize what you see, commemorate it internally. Now take time to visualize the change you would like to see in your immediate environment. Go there steadily.

Gemini: You’ve been a spectator. You’ve been amused and diverted by all that you have seen. Will you be called upon to participate? Will you be held accountable for that which you have witnessed? Will you make yourself a target or an object of desire? Think it over.

Cancer: Scary times bring out the best and the worst alike in all aspects of daily life. Will you rise to the occasion? Will your friends and companions? Will you make the most of the lemons life is handing you? Will you pout or act in a manner consonant with your heart?

Leo: If you were a flower, what kind of a flower would you be? If you were a creature of the sea, would you have a spine or not? If you were the captain of your ship and the master of your soul, would you still find yourself beset with complications and confusion? Believe.

Virgo: Picking the wheat from the chaff, the poppy seeds from the ashes, and the lentils from the fields, you wonder if it’s a manifestation of OCD or if you’re just gifted and talented. Could it be that you have a natural eye for detail and the patience of the saints? Reflect Tuesday.

Libra: The core is hard; the surface is soft. The lesson is difficult; the knowledge is valuable. The principle is tricky; the application is timely. You have both choices and observations due in to your own soul. You’ll want to complete these assignments in a timely fashion. Score.

Scorpio: It isn’t what you’d intended, but you’re the boss of yourself in most ways that count—and your own favorite employee. How will you hold yourself accountable for all the things left undone and all those that require being done over? Can you be firm and kind alike?

Sagittarius: Life is a voyage of discovery. You’ll want to give the ship of your state a good going-over. Are the seams tight? Are the sails mended and rigged? Is your line carefully stowed? Could the decks be any swabbier? Take charge and don’t forget to up the ante.

Capricorn: Don’t abandon your practices. Don’t turn your back on your faith. Don’t let go of what feels awkward this minute. There’re plenty of babies still in the bathwater. Consult yourself to figure out the logistics of renewing your life without chucking it altogether.

Aquarius: It isn’t the turning of the screw that bugs you so much as it is the machining of the threads by which the screw turns. Yeah, that’s a little abstract for the up-close-and-personal, which is your life right now. And yet, it fits. And it ought to be worn, if not contemplated.

Pisces: You’ve been up the road and down the road searching out the blue bird of your happiness. Could it be the bird’s a different color for you? Or maybe a different scale? Or even not a bird at all? Maybe it’s the orange tabby of contentment, or the pink elephant of yesteryear….

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!