Metro Weekly

Horoscope

April 28-May 4, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re gravid with the forces of nature at their most elemental. This heaviness occasionally descends into queasiness. Take more ginger in your diet to help with that vague nausea. Write a check to your favorite nonprofit to lighten your load, build your future and ease your physical discomfort with the present state of the world. It might behoove you to stick a plant on the windowsill and watch it grow. There’s more to meditation than just breathing and posing. Call your old guru for a tune-up.

Aries: Situation normal is all effed-up, but it’s not as rosy as you might prefer. Will you dig in and get down to the bottom of the problem? Will you lounge around complaining under your breath and behind the backs of those you hold most to blame? Act with enthusiasm.

Taurus: You’re a superstar, blazing across the hemisphere of the sky, writing your name in the concrete effects of your actions. This is how you will be remembered. This is the taste you leave in the mouths of those around you. Make a statement you’re proud of.

Gemini: There’s an idyllic, pastoral scene going on just over the hill; you’re not there because you’re sulking. Could you pull up your socks and get on with making up your mind and acting on your decision in a manner calculated to bring your social value up a notch?

Cancer: It’s easier to see what’s not going right than it is to always be doing the best of all possible things at the most timely of all possible moments. You’re challenged to put down the role of Greek chorus and get on with making your own plot move forward. Dance.

Leo: It’s not easy. It’s not fun anymore. It’s not fulfilling some of the time, either. But you are called to rise to acts of heroism and generosity such as have not been seen in the world in many a year. Are you game? Are you courageous enough? Just say ”Yes.”

Virgo: Look around you. You’ve been on your voyage of discovery for so long you might not remember where it was you were hoping to have got to by this stage of your development. Could you settle where you are? If not, why not? If so, then get busy with base camp.

Libra: Destiny isn’t always noble and shining from on high. Sometimes it’s a message encoded in our own flesh. What is your body trying to tell you? How far from optimal is your current health condition? How much responsibility are you willing to take for that?

Scorpio: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. You can make one online for less than $20. Why that? Why now? How about to ground you in the present by giving you something concrete from the future to which you can contribute right this second. Really! Do it!

Sagittarius: You are the queen of all you survey, so get out those cute specialized bits of surveying gear and get on with figuring out where you are, how much farther there is to go, and the specific shape of the terrain you hope to cover. You can ask a Pisces for insight.

Capricorn: It’s not the specifics you find off-putting; it’s the clouds of generalities plaguing you like a swarm of no-see-ums. Stop trying to pin down those pesky details. Instead, focus on bringing others (with different visual skills) into your sphere of productivity.

Aquarius: Simplicity could save you time, money and heartburn. Groundedness could bring you into mature perspective (even if only temporarily). Sincerity could be the best team builder since the free ice cream initiative. Don’t be afraid to listen; you’ll learn lots.

Pisces: Between the external pressures to make yourself more real than you’ve ever been, and your internal desire to melt, thaw and resolve yourself into the very most ephemeral essence of your being, lies the middle path of compassion. Walk it for your own sake. Please.

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Horoscope

April 21-27, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You could just put your head down and your nose to the grindstone. You could follow orders until they stopped coming. You could let the strategy slide past you as you proceed in a straight line. Or you could bring discipline and ethical considerations into play. If you choose to take an active role in your own doings, you’ll find the payoff – though delayed – is worth the additional effort. Achieve respect from your frenemies and amaze your family. Represent to the top of your bent.

Aries: The time of ”look but don’t touch” is over. If you’re not hands-on, you’re not doing your best or even aiming high enough. This shilly-shallying does not become you. Strap on your armor and stand at the front of the pack. Tuesday brings necessary information. Listen.

Taurus: You’re on the right path, but are you proceeding at the best pace for your ends? You’re in the correct mode, but have you got the best attitude to see you through to your ambitions? You’re in good-enough health, but have you taken the steps to ensure its continuation?

Gemini: Is it more support you need? Is it clearer lines of communication? Is it the freedom to act without having to check in, back or over with every last person? You still need to dot each ”i” and cross each ”t,” but you could have the clearance you want – for the asking!

Cancer: Wandering in a twilight of uncertainty has been the hallmark of your existence for some time. Should you change partners? Should you change location? Should you change your assumptions? Something in you has grown out of where you were when you started.

Leo: You’re on the brink of something big. Can you convince your neighbors to join you in making the ideal come real? Can you bring the big picture home to the level of individual participation? Can you incite overriding enthusiasm in those most concerned? Do try.

Virgo: You’re so good with the details of others. How is it that your own interior closet has gotten into such a state? To whom should you turn when you need some sorting out of your own? Leave your trust issues at the door, since it’s time to get serious and accomplish.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Libra: Nobody would think of blaming you, but might you have been more attentive a little sooner? No one would ask you to take full responsibility, but it might be an act of brazen leadership to step up to the plate without waiting on consensus. Shop before Sunday.

Scorpio: You’re not joking. You’re as serious as you can stand. How will you convince others of what you ”know” without having the facts in hand? How will you develop your action plan without having the troops ready to rally? Use your phone tree to get further.

Sagittarius: It was never going to have been easy. It was never going to have been a walkover. And you were never going to have been satisfied without the challenge of a lifetime staring you down. Now you’ve gotten what you wanted, pull out the stops. Make your magic.

Capricorn: Simpler times allowed for simpler solutions. Those times are not now. Use your gift for strategy to make a long-term plan. Use your gift for listening to allow others to bring useful tactics into play. Use your gift for seeing underlying structure to get to the bottom.

Aquarius: You, you, you. Sometimes it is all about you. This might be one of those times. If you don’t feel like there’s much room in your life for you, then you need to clear out some of the deadfall and winterkill to make space for what you really want, and do it soon.

Pisces: Walking the talk would be more easily done if there weren’t so many pointless obstacles lining your path. Can you let go of the voices of doom clouding your perceptions of the possible? Can you release your fears to make room for your dreams? Yes, you can!

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

April 14-20, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: Is it time to let it go? Time to forgive and forget? Time to build bridges instead of chasms? Time to release the bitter to make space for the sweet? If it isn’t, you could always pretend until your dreams came true. While not direct or practical, this strategy may yet be the one to win the day, solve the puzzle and take the prize home. Learn more than regret from your mistakes. Bring more than recriminations to your place at the table.

Aries: You’re still all that. And it could still be all about you. But you might do yourself a favor by stepping back and gaining perspective on where you are and how you might get from here to there. Once you understand the scale, your resources could be reconsidered.

Taurus: You find yourself suddenly spotlighted. Is it in a good way? Are you comfortable being the focus so suddenly? Is this adding a layer of stress and outreach you just weren’t pining for? You can still make good use of the exposure, but you’ll need an assistant.

Gemini: No, it wasn’t underhanded and despicable. No, it wasn’t shiftless and sneaky. No, it wasn’t direct and clear and aboveboard either. You were careful, is all. Now someone’s questioning your motives. Stay calm, breathe deeply and tell the truth – the whole truth.

Cancer: Is it a waltz? When was the last time you even thought about having a dance? You still have great moves and innate rhythm, but you’ve been running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Slow down, warm up and try to go with the flow before Monday.

Leo: You knew what it was the first time you laid eyes on it. You asked around and found your perception unique. Will you let others convince you? Or will you hold on to what you know to be true, and soldier forward in a state of grace and serene self-esteem?

Virgo: You’ve been stretched thin before. This would be so much easier if you just had one person you felt deep down you could trust completely. Trust begins at home. You could apply your efforts most profitably be putting yourself at the head of the line for once.

Libra: You’re not afraid of what they’ll see. You’re not afraid of what they’ll say. You wish they’d think better of you and each other, but you’re also a realist. In a different light, the situation might even be taken as a great turning point in your life. Meditate in the morning.

Scorpio: You kept your hands in your pockets and weren’t greedy. Now you’re assumed to lack initiative. Never mind, you can make up the lost ground (and do so while solving a few puzzles no one even knew were there). Wear a smile, but bring your umbrella.

Sagittarius: The scenery is spectacular. The ambiance is divine. The attention to detail is phenomenal. But you’re bored by how it’s all working out so seamlessly. You’d hoped for more of a challenge. You’d dreamed there would be a dragon to slay. Take off your armor.

Capricorn: You didn’t mind that it was all uphill. You weren’t fazed by the undergrowth through which you fought your way. You got used to the slow pace. Now it’s suddenly out in the open, free and clear, smooth and simple. How will you learn to adjust? Calculate.

Aquarius: On your word of honor, just tell it like it is. It’s way too late to start playing politics. And it’s even later than that for any other alternative. So cut loose, grab an ally with a convincing corroborative version of events and go forward in confidence. Clean up Friday.

Pisces: Wasn’t it like this the last time, too? Or was it? You can’t remember for sure. But being here now could take the edge off your recent frustration with your memory. So could regular sleep patterns. Or a work out that didn’t bore you. Or even a good salad.

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Horoscope

April 7-13, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: Things are more like they are now than they’ve ever been. You can take advantage of this confluence of shifting energies. Start up what you’d put aside in confusion. Approach complex tasks with ”beginner’s mind,” be ready to accept what you don’t know, and proceed with optimism and openness. Listen to the intuitions of your heart – your emotional radar is turned up to 11 and you’d do well to rely on it. You’re moving forward so long as you include your past experiences. Change is good.

Aries: So much is happening. Some of it you chose, some of it was thrust upon you. You’ll be surprised at how much you enjoy the unexpected – and the old business that comes back up with a vengeance. But that old business is the key to your future. Act early.

Taurus: You’re ready to go with the flow. Everyone wants this to go easily and well, without a lot of stress. But there’s a fly in the ointment, no matter how you try to cut yourself a slice of slack. Stand up tall, square your shoulders and face the issues head-on.

Gemini: It’s not a picnic. It’s not a walk in the park. It’s not a sure thing. But you can have more effect on the outcome than you presently think. You can have what you want, just not when you want it. You can go the distance, you’ll only need to commit.

Cancer: Floating on the currents of life is not giving up, giving in or chucking it over. Right now, the path of least resistance is absolutely your best choice. Use this break to reformulate your attitude and approach. Use this space to clear and freshen your heart.

Leo: On the one hand, there’s that endless struggle and challenge: rewarding but draining. On the other hand, there’s your need to be the one at the center and the one to whom everyone looks up. Can you have both sides of the equation? Can you bring the juice?

Virgo: Time and tide are sucking at the ankles of your soul. There’s so much in flux, and so much you’re glad is changing. Don’t stand in the way of what’s coming toward you. Build a ladder to the future, and climb it with your whole heart and thoughtful balance.

Libra: It’s not you. It’s not yours. But you’re part of the equation, and you signed on for the full ride. If you’re still of sound mind and body, then you need to own your stuff and get on with solving your problems so that you can contribute to the greater good. Be here now.

Scorpio: Destiny would be the easy way out. Quit expecting the universe to keep your daybook, and start making your own appointments with fate. You have the chops to make lemonade out of any lemons you may have on hand. Don’t delay. Listen to your gut.

Sagittarius: You’re elated. You’re on fire. You’re in the midst of a swamp, and you’re lost, and you couldn’t be more delighted. So get in touch with your inner compass. Pay attention to the clues embedded in nature all around you. Find your guiding star, follow it.

Capricorn: Peace and quiet are good things. But they’re not for you right now. You’ll be fighting the good fight whether you’re onboard with the duty or not. So gird up your loins, strap on your armor and take up your weapons of choice. Bring your ”A” game Monday.

Aquarius: It’s not time to open your wallet. First you need to complete your budgetary planning. Then you need to actively pursue your goals. You’ll do better at this if you enlist the aid of those around you. You can’t do this alone, and it would be a mistake to try.

Pisces: You’re billowing with the possibilities. Like a sail in a changing wind with the barometer falling, you’ve got lots to focus on all at once and all of it is critically important. So relax and open yourself to the present in order to achieve your myriad happy futures.

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!