By Sean Bugg
October 17, 2012
One thing we learned on Tuesday night — or relearned, since every election cycle of the past 20 years has taught the same lesson — is that our two major political parties have distinct and predictable reactions to debate losses. Democrats, when faced with a sitting president completely blowing a debate as Obama did in Denver, race to don their hair shirts and fill the Internet with lamentations of doom, doom and more doom.
Republicans, when faced with a big debate loss, simply force a grin and say, ”We won!”
It’s no surprise that I’m one of the folks who came out of Tuesday night’s debate thinking that President Obama had scored a big victory, if not as obviously big as Mitt Romney had scored over him two weeks before. Romney actually started off the night strong, but as things wore on and the alpha male body-language battle went ever more in the president’s favor, he ended up looking small and petty and willing to say anything necessary to win.
Basically, everything we already knew.
What is surprising is what continues not to be raised over the course of two presidential and one vice presidential debate: any LGBT issue.
During a year in which the sitting president of the United States publicly declared his support for marriage equality; a year when Maryland and Maine may turn back anti-gay efforts to amend their state constitutions; a year when it has become crystal clear that marriage will make it to the U.S. Supreme Court sooner rather than later, not one question has been asked about it.
This may sound frivolous on the surface and I’ve been tempted to dismiss it as such myself. There are, after all, plenty of important domestic and international issues that deserve attention but are left in the unasked folder, climate change foremost among them. There’s only so much time to ask questions over the course of three televised presidential debates and in America the only things allowed to run overtime on TV are professional sports and the Academy Awards.
But as someone who was born in the same year that the Supreme Court declared interracial marriage a constitutional right in Loving v. Virginia, I have to say it boggles my mind that no moderator has brought out this question. It’s not as if it lacks import — Romney’s support for a federal constitutional amendment that would repeal existing marriage equality laws makes his position clear, but it would certainly be interesting to ask why he believes marriage is a federal matter while health care reform should be left to the states. And if I were a Republican-leaning voter, I’d love to hear Obama asked to justify his decision to declare DOMA unconstitutional and his refusal to defend it in court.
We’ve heard the president refer to the repeal of ”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” as one of the successes of his first term; we’ve not heard anyone ask Romney if he still believes the repeal was wrong or if he agrees with those congressional Republicans who would like to reinstate it. With the ongoing debates over jobs, education, training and equal-pay-for-equal-work, it would seem some discussion of the desirability of ENDA during this economic climate would be appropriate.
In some way, this can be read as a success for the LGBT movement, or at least the parts of the movement that have focused on marriage and military. We have become so non-controversial in many ways — and the people who care strongly about them are the most unlikely to be ”undecided” (aka ”dithering”) voters — that it no longer registers on this level of presidential debate.
But no matter how much I try to see it as a victory, I end up seeing it for what it really is: a missed opportunity.
Sean Bugg is the co-publisher of Metro Weekly. You can reach him at or follow him on Twitter @seanbugg.
By John Riley on November 3, 2026 @JRileyMW
A Northern Virginia pastor filed a lawsuit seeking to block a ballot measure that would repeal the Marshall-Newman Amendment, a 2006 voter-approved amendment banning state recognition of same-sex marriages or similar relationships.
The Founding Freedoms Law Center filed the lawsuit on behalf of Pastor Ben Purves.
The complaint alleges that state and local clerks failed to distribute and publicly post copies of the proposed amendment at Virginia courthouses at least three months before the November 4, 2025, House of Delegates election, as required by state law. It asks the court to invalidate the amendment, even if voters approve it.
By John Riley on October 22, 2026 @JRileyMW
Bishop Michael F. Burbidge of Arlington, Virginia, is urging Catholics to pray, fast, and vote "no" on two ballot measures that would protect abortion rights and repeal the state's two-decade-old constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.
Burbidge addressed the measures in a September 30 video posted to the Diocese of Arlington's YouTube channel, shortly after early voting began for the Nov. 3 midterm elections.
The first ballot measure, if approved, would guarantee access to abortion while allowing restrictions during the third trimester, "except when the patient's health is at risk or the pregnancy cannot survive."
By John Riley on November 10, 2026 @JRileyMW
U.S. Sen.-elect Chris Pappas (D-N.H.) says he's prepared to vote against President Donald Trump's judicial nominees if they won't commit to respecting Supreme Court precedents that protect LGBTQ rights, including marriage equality.
"I need to know that respect the precedent that has been set in Obergefell and other decisions that have ensured a right to privacy and ensured that individuals have the freedom to be themselves and make their own decisions," Pappas told The Advocate's Christopher Wiggins in a post-election interview.
Pappas, who became the first out gay man elected to the U.S. Senate by defeating former U.S. Sen. John Sununu (R), said he would withhold support from judicial nominees who refuse to follow Supreme Court precedent or decline to answer questions about their views on LGBTQ equality.
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