Metro Weekly

Sexy Time: Bite the Fruit is here for your lockdown self-love needs

As we all get used to more "me" time, Bite the Fruit has toys galore in its online store


Bite the Fruit: Femme Funn Ultra Bullet Massager

If self-love is your new modus operandi in these times of COVID-19, then Bite the Fruit can give you an assist. Literally.

The popular fetish and sex toy shop may have been forced to temporarily close its iconic retail location on Connecticut Avenue, but their online store is open for business and, according to owner Russwin Fransisco, doing gangbusters.

Browse the site to find just the right product for you. Perhaps it’s the Loverboy: Boy in Blue ($23.95), a latex-free, exceedingly realistic appendage that has a suction cup for easy placement around the house.

Among the store’s hottest sellers is the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager ($74.95), a 100% silicone massager that has not one, not two, but twenty vibration modes. You’ll never get bored. It’s USB rechargeable and, at .91″ x 4.3″, small enough to keep you in a state of transcendent bliss through all those god-awful daily Zoom meetings.

Bite the Fruit also sells a variety of 100% cotton bandanas, which, while not medically sound, at least can be used as a face covering. As a bonus, the astonishing array of colors not-so-subtly conveys to those you pass on the street your individual proclivities for that day that we can touch each other again in the morning, then just walk away ($3 each).


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