Postmates, the food delivery service providing customers with restaurant-prepared meals, has produced a video in time for Pride Month touting its new “bottom-friendly menu” in select cities.
The adorably animated commercial, featuring a harness-clad eggplant as a “top,” and jockstrap-wearing peaches “bottoms,” shows the pair looking at various foods, some of which are not ideal if one is preparing to engage in anal sex at some point after consumption.
“If you’re a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want,” Rob Anderson intones as the eggplant wolfs down a taco and three peaches gaze at a melting bowl of ice cubes and sigh. “But if you’re a bottom, you’re expected to starve? Not this Pride!”
To guide would-be bottoms to the right foods that will wreak less havoc on their digestive system, Postmates has partnered with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Future Method/Bespoke Surgical, to develop “Eat with Pride,” a bottom-friendly menu that can be ordered from local restaurants in Los Angeles and New York.
Customers in those two cities with the Postmates app can peruse popular restaurants that provide prepared meals that make it easier to get intimate later.
Restaurants on the list include Prince Street Pizza, Tender Greens, Dialog Cafe, Toccata, Ggiata, Alfred Coffee, H2O Sushi & Izakaya, Octopus Restaurant, and Beatnic.
As the commercial notes, people seeking to bottom are recommended to stay away from whole grains, wheat bran, cauliflower, potatoes, and legumes, which don’t easily dissolve in water.
Bottoms are also recommended to avoid highly processed foods and dairy, which is represented in the video by two half-cupcakes looking over a spilled milkshake, with one saying, “I cannot handle lactose right now! Look at her!”
Anderson then notes, “If you’re going to eat something insoluble, give your body about 24 hours to process all of it.”
Foods recommended for bottoming include soluble fibers and protein, including fish, peas, citrus, white rice, and nuts, with Postmates noting that sushi is considered a bottom-friendly food as well.
The Postmates commercial was conceptualized by a team of LGBTQ employees and launched with the rollout of the bottom-friendly menus on Thursday, June 9.
As part of the initiative, Postmates has made a donation to The Okra Project, a mutual aid collective providing meals and support to Black transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming individuals.
“There’s no right or wrong way to bottom,” the commercial concludes. “But if you’re planning on getting ‘peachy’ this Pride, the bottom-friendly menu on Postmates has the kinds of foods that can keep you feeling good.”
Welcome to The Riley Roundup, a daily collection of LGBTQ-related stories worth your attention by Senior Editor John Riley. Here's the news for September 6, 2023:
U.S. ON CANADA'S BAD LIST
Canada has issued a travel advisory to the United States, per National Public Radio, warning members of the LGBTQ community that some American states have enacted laws that may affect them if they choose to travel to the United States.
While the country's Global Affairs department did not specify to which states it was referring, it did advise travelers to research local laws before traveling.
“I don't really have a poet-y way of writing, although people tell me I'm a poet,” says Iris DeMent. “But that feels funny to me. I think of myself more as a preacher.”
The Grammy-nominated DeMent, whose distinctive twang coupled with an unmistakable musical style -- a heady swirl of folk, gospel, blues, and country -- has made it her mission to provide the world with songs that convey revolution, resolution, hope, and forgiveness.
“My writing style traces back to the Pentecostal preaching that I grew up with,” says DeMent, calling from her home in Iowa. “The messages were really straight -- nobody flinched at spelling out the details about the fiery furnace, or what have you. That was my world.
A local school board ordered a health care provider that operates a clinic inside a West Michigan middle school to remove a student-designed mural containing LGBTQ imagery if it wishes to have its contract renewed.
Earlier this month, the Grant Public Schools Board of Education voted to authorize a new contract with Family Health Care, which operates the Child and Adolescent Health Center inside Grant Middle School, in Grant, Michigan. \
The center offers medical and dental care, vision, hearing, and mental health services to all Grant Public Schools students, at no cost to families.
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