Postmates, the food delivery service providing customers with restaurant-prepared meals, has produced a video in time for Pride Month touting its new “bottom-friendly menu” in select cities.
The adorably animated commercial, featuring a harness-clad eggplant as a “top,” and jockstrap-wearing peaches “bottoms,” shows the pair looking at various foods, some of which are not ideal if one is preparing to engage in anal sex at some point after consumption.
“If you’re a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want,” Rob Anderson intones as the eggplant wolfs down a taco and three peaches gaze at a melting bowl of ice cubes and sigh. “But if you’re a bottom, you’re expected to starve? Not this Pride!”
To guide would-be bottoms to the right foods that will wreak less havoc on their digestive system, Postmates has partnered with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Future Method/Bespoke Surgical, to develop “Eat with Pride,” a bottom-friendly menu that can be ordered from local restaurants in Los Angeles and New York.
Customers in those two cities with the Postmates app can peruse popular restaurants that provide prepared meals that make it easier to get intimate later.
Restaurants on the list include Prince Street Pizza, Tender Greens, Dialog Cafe, Toccata, Ggiata, Alfred Coffee, H2O Sushi & Izakaya, Octopus Restaurant, and Beatnic.
As the commercial notes, people seeking to bottom are recommended to stay away from whole grains, wheat bran, cauliflower, potatoes, and legumes, which don’t easily dissolve in water.
Bottoms are also recommended to avoid highly processed foods and dairy, which is represented in the video by two half-cupcakes looking over a spilled milkshake, with one saying, “I cannot handle lactose right now! Look at her!”
Anderson then notes, “If you’re going to eat something insoluble, give your body about 24 hours to process all of it.”
Foods recommended for bottoming include soluble fibers and protein, including fish, peas, citrus, white rice, and nuts, with Postmates noting that sushi is considered a bottom-friendly food as well.
The Postmates commercial was conceptualized by a team of LGBTQ employees and launched with the rollout of the bottom-friendly menus on Thursday, June 9.
As part of the initiative, Postmates has made a donation to The Okra Project, a mutual aid collective providing meals and support to Black transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming individuals.
“There’s no right or wrong way to bottom,” the commercial concludes. “But if you’re planning on getting ‘peachy’ this Pride, the bottom-friendly menu on Postmates has the kinds of foods that can keep you feeling good.”
Pride flags are officially banned from flying above U.S. embassies.
The provision, part of a larger $1.2 trillion bipartisan spending bill to keep the government funded through September 30, was signed into law by President Biden on March 23.
Under the provision, no government funds may be used to fly or display any flag over any State Department facilities, unless that flag is the United States flag, a state or tribal government flag, an official agency flag, the POW/MIA flag, the Hostage and Wrongful Detainee flag, or -- as in the case of embassies -- the sovereign flag of other countries, reports NBC News.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy," Hamlet tells his friend after seeing the ghost of his recently deceased father. Fortunately, Eddie Izzard must have had a celestial dream to fully realize a one-person retelling of Shakespeare's best-known tragedy, Hamlet.
She pulls it off with great intelligence and careful precision in a two-and-a-half-hour production that whizzes by faster than a perceived phantom. From the troubled Danish prince to the forlorn Ophelia and even a cockney gravedigger, Izzard tackles 23 characters with sophisticated panache and effortless flair.
A Pennsylvania school board canceled an appearance by Maulik Pancholy at a local middle school's anti-bullying assembly due to concerns over his "lifestyle."
The Cumberland Valley School District school board voted unanimously to cancel the gay actor's scheduled May 22 appearance at Mountain View Middle School in Mechanicsburg, a town of 9,000 people in the state's center, just 10 miles outside Harrisburg.
Pancholy, who played Jonathan on the hit TV show 30 Rock, Sanjay in Weeds, and voiced the character of Baljeet for Disney's Phineas & Ferb, is also an author of novels for young adults, including The Best at It, the story of a gay Indian-American boy and his experience dealing with bullying in a small Midwestern town, and Nikhil Out Loud, about a group of eighth-grade theater kids rising up against homophobia in their community.
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