Paula Poundstone Picks the Perfect President
The comic talks Larry the cat, political resistance, and which politician tops her fantasy presidential roster.
“Hold on just a second, I have to put the phone down for a sec. I’ll be right back,” says Paula Poundstone as our conversation begins. A minute later, she’s back with an explanation.
“I’m about to feed my cat Larry,” she says. “And I feed Larry by throwing one piece of food at a time across the room, but that requires getting all the other cats out of the room.”
How many cats does Paula Poundstone own? “I have 11,” she replies. When I joke that she’s playing into stereotypes, the 65-year-old comic breaks into a hearty laugh.
“I think I probably am, but you know what? Cat people are good people, I think. The fact that JD Vance hates us is so empowering. And my cats can’t talk, but trust me, they don’t like JD Vance.”
Of course now I have to know why she feeds Larry the way she does.
“Four hundred and something days ago, I went to the animal shelter because I wanted to get one more kitten. And I met this giant fat cat — he was 23.9 pounds, he looked like a barrel with feet. I’m like, ‘This cat’s going to die. It’s just too fat.'”
Poundstone, who regularly posts videos of Larry on social media, devised a weight-loss system that forces him to run for each piece of food. He’s now down to 12 pounds, and even veterinarians have approached her wanting to know her methods.
We continue talking about cats for far too long — trust me, you don’t want to know about her eleven-cat litter box solution — before shifting to Poundstone’s true comfort zone: her disdain for the current administration.
“It’s very stressful, sad, depressing, crazy-making,” says Poundstone, who will return to The Birchmere next weekend for two nights of performances, “and I do everything I can to be a part of the resistance. I go to the protests and try to speak out. I talk about it on stage. I try not to drown people in it, but most of the feedback I get from audience members tells me that they feel unified and inspired as a result.”
Poundstone feels “firmly” that the country will prevail against the Trump regime and its attempts to shatter Democratic norms. “I just interviewed somebody on my podcast yesterday who is a co-author of a book about nonviolent protest,” says the Boston native, who has called California home for years. “And statistically, nonviolent protests are more successful as a method of getting rid of a particular governance. So a big key to our success will be keeping things nonviolent.
“If we ever get out of this,” she continues, “it’ll be because lots of people had their oars in the water. One of the things about nonviolent protest that is important is this feeling of joy. Certainly the ‘No Kings’ rallies have shown that. I mean they’re carnivals, some of them, they’re great. But when you think about it, the most recent incarnation of the joy of the process was really wielded by Kamala Harris. Her rallies were not only packed, but they were packed with joy. And that doesn’t come from just every candidate. It’s funny to me that guys are like, ‘Well, we don’t like her laugh.’ Really? Maybe it’s because I’m a comic, but I like every goddamn kind of laugh there is.”
Poundstone’s biggest present concern? “Voting rights,” she says, repeating, with emphasis, “Voting rights. And I felt this even really before Trump — if you don’t solve voting rights and climate change, then none of the other issues mean anything, because you have to have an earth, and we have to have a voice.”
I ask who her ideal president would be. “Do they have to run, or I get to appoint them?” she counters. I go with appoint. “It might be Elizabeth Warren. I also think that we have a deep bench. So the good news is that it’s hard to decide, and at some point you just pick a name, like when somebody says, ‘What’s your favorite movie or what’s your favorite musician?’ Same thing, Buttigieg — I think he’d be great. But I don’t think he can win. There’s a harsh reality about who we are as a nation. I think we missed the boat so entirely and badly with Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton, two of the most qualified candidates that have ever run. Misogyny and racism just swept them away.”
She pivots to the current president. “I know that Trump’s only interest is staying in office so that he doesn’t have to go to jail,” she continues, “and the Republican Party keeps supporting him in doing that. So I know that the Republican Party is not the one that’s going to help with either of these issues. Who knew that we would someday long for Nixon?”
Paula Poundstone appears at The Birchmere, 3701 Mount Vernon Ave. in Alexandria, Va., Friday and Saturday, Nov. 21 and 22, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $59.50. Visit birchmere.com.
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