Metro Weekly

Horoscope

May 24-30, 2012

Heavenly Round-Up: Sometimes, reality just bites. Even so, there’s more than one silver lining still on the racks — but you’ll have to fight the crowds to get your piece of happily-ever-after out of this one. So the old obstacle takes on new life; yet you’ll be moving forward instead of hanging fire. Old complaints present you with new alternatives; are you person enough to make the right choice? Cherished dreams smack into the limitations of physical manifestation; but there’s a lot to be salvaged from the ready wreckage.

Aries: You’re the tops. You’re the big banana. Just watch out for someone bigger waiting to peel you. No matter how right you are, how just your position, how innovative your goals, there’s a big wet blanket out there with your name on it. Stay cool under there!

Taurus: It won’t be fun, but it will be over. It won’t be easy, but it will get done. It won’t be what you wanted, but it will work just fine. Scale your expectations back, up your productivity through increased focus. And ignore the whiny, gloomy naysayers. They don’t know.

Gemini: You’ll go farther and get more done if you can just let go of your ideals and reset your trajectory for reduced expectations. You may even find you like your results better than if you’d gotten what you thought you really wanted. Be brave on Saturday night.

Cancer: You’re a walking-talking encyclopedia of information about a broad range of topics. Can you find the data you need in your stores to see you through the vicissitudes of this next cycle? You can if you gird up your loins and forget about the plu-perfect!

Leo: It might not be what you want, but there’s a lot for you to work with all the same. Bring your talent for re-framing to the table, and you may be surprised at your options and possible outcomes. Stay upbeat on Friday, though this may involve a good nap.

Virgo: You’re on a roll. Ugh! There’s mayonnaise on it, too! Take a deep breath. That was a dream. You’re not going to be eaten by your own life, but you do have to step up and reset your boundaries to account for your necessities and priorities. You have the chops.

Libra: Don’t go down those stairs in the dark when you hear that ”funny” noise. You know the rules, and you don’t want to be the crew member in the red shirt on the landing party, either. Make yourself a principal player and you’ll avoid being dispensable.

Zodiac table
Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Is this what you wanted? Really? You cut your nose off in order to be fitted with a silver one like Tycho Brahe? I don’t believe that story, and neither will anyone else. Cut out the behavior leading you down this indefensible garden path. Win on Tuesday.

Sagittarius: You would if you could, but you’re not sure you can. Therefore, you’re choosing to say that you can’t preemptively. Is that your wisest course? Is it time to cut and run? Or would you do better to take your lumps and get on with being the best ever?

Capricorn: You fell for the joke. You were taken by buzz. You got hosed, pranked and generally rolled. Fine. Now you’re back on your feet and ready to make your next steps towards resetting your relationship with reality to incorporate your recent lessons.

Aquarius: It’s not all bad. That would be too easy. It’s not the end of the world, either. It’s the beginning of a new long cycle, and you should begin as you mean to go on. Cease whining. No one promised you the best of all possible worlds, but you could make one.

Pisces: The course of true devotion never did run smooth. And there are still more philosophies out there than you’ve ever dreamed. Don’t go all jaded on your choices. Don’t diminish your contributions. Don’t give up. Pick yourself up and try, try again on Sunday morning.

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