Hearsay

Succulent nipples and other morsels at the Morel ShowÂ…
Troxel return to Lambda after all these yearsÂ…
Toy Drives past and futureÂ…

Between the ESL cabbie and the ten feet of snow, can you really blame Hearsay for ending up not at Velvet Nation last Saturday as originally planned, but instead at le Velvet Lounge, where Schlitz is sold by the can? By the can! Lucky for Hearsay, which found that the famous "hint of piss" taste disappears after downing ten Schlitzi, it just so happened that local homo Richard "I Live in Takoma Park Amongst the Wild Lesbians" Morel was beautifying the stage that night. Morel’s band ripped into track after track from Queen of the Highway, a reference Morel claims for his mother and which Hearsay would challenge as trademark infringement. Nevertheless, the show, which commenced not at "10 p.m. sharp!" as indicated by the flyer, but rather at a much more fashionable 11:45 p.m., rocked the world from beginning to end, with a particularly guttural rendition of "True (The Faggot Is You)." At one point, a decidedly queer member of the decidedly mixed crowd shouted above the din to perpetually shirtless guitarist John "Sudsy" Allen, "I WANT JOHN ALLEN’S SUCCULENT NIPPLES!" Allen, rumored to be straight, took the comment in tactful strideÂ…

Popping into the envelope-pushing Filler party at Blue Room in Adams Morgan last Sunday for a quick sloe gin fizz, who should Hearsay run into but rising starlet Alan "See Me Touch Me" Callander, recently singled out by The Washington Post for his Art-O-Matic "abstract musing," which the paper commended as one of the "depressingly few" strong pieces of video art exhibited. That’s not the only award Callander’s won — his HTML dexterity has garnered praise from others, all of it well deserved, in Hearsay’s humble opinionÂ…

Recently, Hearsay stumbled into Lambda Rising, not to flip through the latest in lesbian iambic pentameter, or to taste the new flavored lubes (bring your own pink spoon, ask for a sample and see what happens), but, rather, to thumb through the latest Inches. Who should Hearsay find guarding the magazines from ruthless rampaging thumbing-throughs but Jane "Kitten With a Whip" Troxell, former proprietor of Lammas Women’s Books & Linens & Things & Wiccawear & Nipple Twists & More but Not Morel. It appears Miss Jane has returned to her roots in the bookselling biz by rejoining Lambda Rising (yes, she worked there long ago, in a galaxy far, far away) as its Store Manager. Hearsay was overjoyed to see its old friend, who really isn’t that old, and doesn’t look that old, besides, and yet somehow seems to carry the wisdom of the world (or at least a driveway in Takoma Park) in her eyes. Miss Jane also conceptualized the country’s first Gay & Lesbian Home Show, Lifestyles, later renamed Trade after the Brad Harris & Mark Guenther of Aviance Marketing, purchased it. (Coincidentally, Harris & Guenther’s fabulously helpful The Other Pages is now available at Lambda for free). Anyway, the point is Hearsay is happy to have Miss Jane, after too long an absence, back in the thick of the queen scene. (Okay, can Hearsay now have its free copy of inches, please?)Â…

Last Monday saw the premiere of the latest sizzle-sation in Washington: Lena Lett’s Ladies of Delusion, an evening of dragertainment featuring such local heavyweights as Billie Ross, Vickii Vox and Gigi "My Button’s Missing" Couture. No longer a heavyweight, of course, is the glamorous Miss Lena, who’s slimmed down to a svelte — well, a woman never reveals her weight. Let’s just say she’s skinny. This Monday’s special guest is a Ziegfeld’s gal who goes by the name of Ella. Showtime is at 10 p.m. Bring lots o’ dollarsÂ…

This Monday, December 16, from 6 to 10 p.m., is the night Mayor Anthony Williams holds his Holiday Party at the newly redesigned nightclub Apex. There will, of course, be refreshments, entertainment and dancing. And special guests will include Councilman Jim "Stop the Tik Tok" Graham. Hearsay implores you to attend this worthy cause, if only because Hearsay enjoys using the word implores. Please bring a new, unwrapped toy or gift suitable for a child under the age of 13. The gifts will be provided to children who have AIDS, whose parents have AIDS, and children in homeless shelters and public housing. So be there and say "Hey!" to our Mayor and do right by a childÂ…

Speaking of toy drives, the Green Lantern reported that last Saturday’s A Child’s Heart Toy Drive and Teddy Bear Auction, sponsored by every single leather organization in the known universe, raised over $3,600 — more than double than last year’s take! To all those who gave, Hearsay applauds you. Unless, of course, you’d prefer a spankingÂ…