I am a “newbie” to the whole gay scene. I am only 17, but I am going to be 18 in a few months. I have been trying so hard not to let my jealousy of other people’s relationships distract me, but it is hard not to notice. I hate the fact that no one my age is out, even in my area. I know it sounds self centered , but why can’t gay teens have relationships like everyone else. Heteros aren’t the only ones that want love, Lena. Where can gay teens get some action or just meet other guys my age?
–Young and Stuck
Honey, gay people are just now forcing the rest of the world to realize that our relationships are just as valid as theirs. It stands to reason that there will be some transition pains. But do know that there are gay people your age who are out and trying to make sense of this whole thing we call life. I encourage you to log on to the SMYAL website — www.smyal.org. They are a great resource for meeting people your own age and welcoming you on your own coming out journey. Ah, to be 17 again. Lord, I have shoes older than you. Good luck honey!
Over the past year, I have been developing feelings for a good friend of mine. We had a fling that lasted several weeks and I am hooked more than ever. We enjoy going out together and staying in together, but we are not quite the right fit. I’m still lusting after her, but realize I should just move on to avoid getting hurt. I’m a bit new to the area and I don’t even know where to begin to meet people. How can I move on and still continue spending time with my good friend? And where do all the twentysomething dykes and transguys hang out?
You say yourself that you realize you and your friend are "not quite the right fit" romantically, which is valuable self-knowledge. Seeking something in a relationship that is not there will only serve to frustrate you and perhaps cause you to lose a good friend. Take a small step back. Spend time doing other things that do not include her. If you fill your time with other people you open yourself up to new possibilities. Do not disregard her but expand your life. Girls are everywhere. Apex hosts one of the largest Lesbian nights in D.C. every Saturday. And of course lot of lesbians tend to love sports — try golf or tennis or basketball or a tractor pull. Just ask yourself, "What is it that I like to do?" My guess is that, whatever your answer, you’ll find other lesbians doing it too. Don’t allow your shyness to keep you from meeting new people. You have to force yourself to get out there. Miss Right may be just one night away.
I accidentally walked in on my boss looking at pornographic pictures on his computer. I feel uncomfortable around him now. How should I deal with this?
–Sick Out of My Mind!
Girl, what exactly do you think you are going through? This is not your issue. You should feel nothing, as you did nothing wrong. As I see it, you have nothing to deal with. We have all had moments and times in which we have done something that can be called less than glamorous. That’s just part of being human. Focus on doing your job, and let the past be the past. Although, if your boss has time to sit at work and look at dirty pictures, he probably has too much time on his hands. Perhaps you can offer him some of your work to keep him busy.
Are you facing a problem in your life and wondering where to turn? Lena is here to help! Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.