March 2009 Archives

Usually, Hearsay will go out of its way not to mention the guy, nor any of his nutty congregation/family. But when those spunky kids at Equality Campus Style, a local group for GLBT students and allies, announces a Phelps-a-Thon to counter Fred Phelps' planned visit to D.C. there's really no way around it.

What the young people have up their righteous sleeve is a fundraiser for The D.C. Center's Gays and Lesbians Opposing Violence. What they're asking for are pledges for every minute that Fred "Burns in Hell" Phelps and his wing-nut band of Westoboro Baptist Church followers from Kansas protest at the White House in their signature homophobic fashion and naming President Obama "the antichrist." The cuckoo protest is slated for Monday, March 30, from 11:30 a.m. to 12:15 p.m.

Pledge any amount you like -- say, 25 cents a minute -- or just make a single donation via the www.phelps-a-thon.com site. Pick the "White House" fundraiser, or choose from other Westboro targets such as George Mason University or Bethesda's Walt Whitman High School. Regardless of whom or how you choose to support, organizers promise to send a thank-you card to homo-hating, fucked-up Fred, advising him of how much he and his raised for the GLBT community....

It's not Sunday, and it's not Lima -- but if you've missed DJ "Kalamata" Kostas since Mark "That's the Spirit!" Lee's Lizard Lounge ended its third run last December, well, this is certainly the next best thing. Kostas is the "special guest DJ" tonight at D.C.'s swanky, chill-out haven Eighteenth Street Lounge, a couple doors down from the still-vacant, gay-popular Club Five -- and across the street from Lizard's old home MCCXXX. Expect to see Kostas' colleagues and friends dancing among the throngs, including DJ Luke "You Should Be Dancin' Yeah!" Easley and maybe even Lee himself -- if you promise him a smoke with his martini. Kostas goes on at 11 p.m. Cover varies after 9:30 p.m.

Have you heard? Be Bar is in the midst of its Be: Reinvention World Tour. Yes, Madonna will still be one of its leading inspirations -- it is still a gay bar, after all. But will it still be Be? That's the $64 million question.

Bill “From Philly to U” Gray has now come on to be a business partner and manager at the club. Recognize him? Of course you do! He's formerly a popular bartender at Town. Gray told Hearsay that Be: Reinvented should be ready for a full unveiling next month, but they’ve already instituted changes, from making it a 21-and-over bar -- bye-bye, kiddies! -- to instituting a four-hour happy hour every weeknight. Called Be: Pink or Not, the happy hours lasts from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., and features 10 pink martini concoctions and 10 champagne cocktails for only $3 each. Anything else on the menu is buy one, get one free.

Gray is also adjusting each night’s theme. Most notable is the addition of Tuesday’s Be: retroSexual, in which DJ Jason “Disco Balls” Royce spins hits from yesteryear. Among other changes: Monday nights are now S.I.N., or Service Industry Night, when anyone -- but especially those in the nightlife and fashion fields -- can enjoy drink specials, including half-price Grand Marnier shots. Wednesday nights are Be:XX, an all-gender alternative queer night with Ken “Slot Machine” Vegas as host and a Drag King Girlie show. Thursdays are Be: Crunk, with more of a hip hop vibe. And DJ Yiannis’s Be: Deep party continues on Friday nights, also one of the few nights in which Gray will actually bartend. Ba’Naka “Shocka’locka” is the house drag queen, and she and assorted others will perform “impromptu” throughout the night, to keep an element of surprise for the crowd.

Gray is training his bartenders to be more personable and as focused on entertaining guests as on making them stiff drinks. But speaking of stiff drinks, the bartenders will also pour ‘em stiffer. Gray says gay Washingtonians are more uptight than those he served for years in both Philadelphia and Pittsburgh before moving here five years ago. That is until he gets them buzzed up. Wind ‘em up and watch them spin!...

What member of Washington's bar glitterati was seen dancing on the bars at Secrets last Wednesday night? It's no surprise to Hearsay, actually, since this gay fella lives by the motto "Be Seen"....

Hearsay is not used to the sight of men in suits standing in a line to get into Town. But that's exactly what Hearsay saw as it approached the venue last night, Thursday, March 12, for PEN's free Mega Networking Event. Hearsay decided to attend because it thought it could get some handy tips on how to set up its new Belkin Wireless G Router, which has been sitting in a box intimidating the hell out of Hearsay for several months now. Turned out it was not that kind of networking. In any case, Hearsay found itself in Town's downstairs room with all manner of local GLBTQRSTUV community leaders and businessfolk packed tighter than fudge. The premium kind. With nuts.

Hearsay can't even begin to recall everyone it saw, talked to, joked with, fondled, compared networks with, glared at, smiled at, batted its eyes at, looked askance at, but here's a smattering of folks it rubbed elbows and other assorted body parts with (in no particular order): Joe "PEN Pal" Kapp, Mark "I Teach Sitar!" Guenther, Tony "Everything I Design Comes Out Looking Like a Circle" Frye, Tyler "I'll Never Tell" Garrison, Tom "I Like Milk!" Bauer, Andrew "Smile When You Say That" Barnett, Joe "Corn on the" Kolb, Ed "Really, I'm Just Here for the Music" Bailey, David "Rime of the Ancient" Mariner, Cathy "Penne" Renna, David "$5 and You've Got a Deal" Taube, Mario "I'm Free!" Acosta-Velez, Dr. Dana "Just Call Me Auntie Mame!" Beyer, Bob "The Marrying Kind" Summersgill, Michael "For the Last Time, I Am Not the Phantom!" Crawford, Troy "The Traveller" Petenbrink, Dr. Howard "Botox For All!" Brooks, Paul "Pop My Cherry" Marengo, Trevor "I Once Stole a Mink" Thomas, Art "Is Subjective" Hernandez, Nick "Falls Church Is It!" Benton, Ernesto "There Is No Finer Color Than Purple" Santalla, Glen "If You Think That's Something, You Should See My Legal Briefs" Ackerman, Mary "Someday We'll Be Together" Snider, Robert "You Want I Should Put a Logo on That Tushie?" Safro, Cavin "Boozey Alleny" Le, Metro Weekly's own Randy "It's Not My Fault I Liked Watchmen" Shulman and Sean "I Publish, I Write, I Cook, but I Abhor Dusting" Bugg, and so many hundreds more, Hearsay really can't go on without straining its already strained brain. So there you have it. The event was such a rousing -- some might say extraordinary -- success, no doubt PEN -- which is holding its Annual Awards Dinner on Thursday, April 2 -- is already planning for next year's. May Hearsay suggest changing the name to MEGA-MEGA-MEGA Networking Event?....

Hearsay enjoyed itself last night drinking at the old Sunday night standby JR.'s, where the $2 Skyy Vodka drunkfest is still going strong after all these years. (Especially with David "Who's Next?" Perruzza on pouring duty.) And now that Hearsay's recovered from the old Monday morning hangover -- even stronger after all these years -- it's ready to hit JR.'s again for the old Monday night standby. Beginning tonight, the bar's Monday Night Showtunes spectacular is set to be stronger, too.

Showtunes was already plenty interactive, with the musical queens singing along as if this were group karaoke. But starting tonight, the bar is making the show technologically interactive too -- as long as patrons bring their cellphones. (As if leaving the phone at home is ever an option.) DJ "Princess Phones Rule" Jamez, billed as "the Showtunes King," returns for this revival, and he'll take your requests through "live jukeboxes" from 9 p.m. until 1 a.m. There will be prizes too -- the 10th caller to the DJ booth will win tickets to the National Theatre to see upcoming productions of A Chorus Line and Chicago. Not to mention the drink specials: $5 Absolut Vodka drinks and $3 draft pints, and all that jazz. That's a lot of singular sensations right there!

Why watch tonight's final episode of the final season of The L Word alone at home, when you can watch it with hundreds of capital-L lesbians (and a few lads, to boot) at Town? And after the screening, you can dance till midnight. All for just a suggested donation of $10, benefiting HRC.

But what's that you've heard? That the show might not actually be completely kaput? Well, yes. apparently the show, now airing in its sixth season on the small screen, will live on on the Internet for a while according to its Wikipedia entry. And depending on reception to that, a spinoff is likely. In fact, a spinoff pilot was shot a few months ago, starring the luscious Leisha "Uh Huh Her" Hailey, who plays Alice Pieszecki, and including Laurie "Oh Roseanne" Metcalf in a supporting role. But there's no word on when or whether -- or where -- the spin-off might actually air.

So for now, enjoy Leisha and these luscious lesbians on the show's last time on Showtime. The fun begins Sunday, March 8, at 7 p.m. at Town...

Mardi Gras has come and gone, but if you still want to play dress up -- or, especially given the balmy temperatures, dress down -- or you just want to see people who do, you'll want to be at the DC JCC tonight, March 7. This will be the venue's third annual gay-focused party celebrating Purim, "the holiday where you're supposed to drink a lot," says Justin "I'm A Fast" Lerner, who organizes this "Masquerade & Mischief" event for the JCC's Kurlander Program for Gay & Lesbian Outreach and Engagement.

Technically, Purim celebrates the Jews who were spared execution by Persian leader Haman in biblical times. Purim customs the world over include drinking wine, wearing masks and costumes, and just general public merriment. Technically, the holiday is to be celebrated this Tuesday, but the DC JCC's event features "a gay twist," as Lerner puts it -- and you can't have a gay twist on a Tuesday! So tonight starting at 9 p.m., gay men and women will take liberties reenacting the Purim spiel, there will be a costume contest, and the DC Kings are set to perform. The best part: The $12 cover includes food and open bar, so you can eat and drink to your liver's (dis)content -- or at least until midnight, when you'll have to find another nearby liver spot.

This year's event will be held in the JCC's gymnasium, the better to hold court. Some 200 people are expected to show up, and you don't have to be gay or Jewish to partake. You don't even have to dress up. Though if you just come as you are, don't be surprised if a Sultan or a Moses admonishes you....

This third annual formal prom will sail the Potomac on the Spirit of Mount Vernon tomorrow night, Saturday, March 7, in a benefit for One in Ten, the local gay arts organization that produces Reel Affirmations, among other activities. The prom, for GLBT adults, will feature food, music and dancing, a silent auction, and of course, the crowning of a king and queen. Boarding is at 7 p.m. Pier 4, 6th and Water St. SW. Tickets are $50. Visit www.eventboi.com/prom.html for more information.

Have you seen the ad for Apex's women's dance party Gloss tomorrow night, March 6? Well, it's stirred things inside Hearsay that Hearsay didn't even know was there. (How did that tube get stuck all the way up there? Hearsay just wanted a little taste.) Anyway, who needs Georgia "Rhymes With Mulva" O'Keefe?

Girl Glam Productions started this monthly ladies party in December at the venue famed for its former Liquid Ladies parties. Apex's Jim "You Look Good in Bright Lights" Suits says the party, set for the first Friday of every month, is something the club hope to build.

DJ Randy "My Life Would Suck Without You" White spins in the Main Hall, and the D.C. Kings will perform at 12:30 p.m. The Kings' own Ken "Leaving Las" Vegas hosts the whole she-bang. Doors open at 9 p.m. Cover is $10. Don't forget to apply your cherry lipgloss so thick, someone will want to lick it up!

Hearsay happened upon this adorable little site earlier today. Naturally, it commanded the eager-to-please little pupperoni to speak, roll over, jump and dance. It then commanded the pupster to lick. So far, so good. Though what pup licked wasn't exactly what Hearsay had in mind. "Lick yourself," commanded Hearsay instead. Puppy didn't quite understand that, responding with a "Huh?" Further experimentation revealed that there are, in fact, a lot of off-color commands the pupmeister doesn't get, but I guess that's the G-rated nature of the site's corporate overseer. Clearly, they anticipated all manner of juvenile antics. (Yes, Hearsay is both juvenile and in possession of a filthy-minded mind, but you knew that already, didn't you?) All told, Hearsay would love to see a similar site with an adorable stud replacing the adorable pup, and with the "Lick Yourself" command fully active. Now, roll over and let Hearsay rub your tummy....