Metro Weekly


Shopping Guide for Tree Trimming

In August, you complained that the stores were breaking out their Christmas consumables way too early, but here we are two weeks from the big day and you haven’t even decked your halls yet. Where’s your gay apparel? It’s time to fulfill that magical tradition that we’ve held sacred since Frank W. Woolworth discovered he could make a quick buck selling cheap glass balls affixed with a large, bent paperclip. It’s tree trimming time, and we’ve got just the ornaments to help you properly accessorize your sparkling evergreen.

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