Metro Weekly


September 30-October 6, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: Since it’s already too late to watch what you say, now you’ll have to get proactive about doing damage control on the fallout thereof. Happily, you’ve resolved to turn over a fresh emotional leaf, and you’re not even sullen about being called on to ante up on your good intentions so very promptly. How will you make good? How will you recreate a positive atmosphere? How will you keep things from getting so far out of hand next time? Use your shoulders to push.

Aries: Listen to the wind. There’s a message. You’re meant to feel nostalgic and to gaze backward into your formative years. There’s a piece of information about your core values and formation that you’ve lost sight of lately. Collect your past and use it as a force for good.

Taurus: You’ve been lost before, but this is fairly profound. Can you get where you’re going if you don’t know where you are? It’s a tossup, but you can stack the odds with only a little shifting and rearranging of the plan at hand. You’d do well to welcome the random neighbor.

Gemini: You are so busted. And you don’t even care, since you got what you came for and you’re leaving before the whole thing gets any more gothic than it already is. Only, what about what you’re leaving behind? If you won’t hire a maid service, you could leave a tip.

Cancer: You’re on a roll, but it seems to be downhill and in the dark and all bumpy. This reaping-as-you-sowed thing is not very delightful, and you had no idea back in the day what those seeds would turn out to be. But there’s a market for your harvest. Get creative. Make a friend.

Leo: Sense is at a premium when everyone else is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You’re conflicted – you want to be a ninny, too, but you’re seeing too clearly to let yourself go like that. Your reward for staying cool will manifest in a darker moment. Open.

Virgo: Constant pressure yields good things, sometimes. Or it can crack and crumble the very foundations of selfhood. You have both the fortitude and the flexibility to make it whole through this trial. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t give it all away before you see for yourself.

Libra: Pernicious? Not hardly. At worst, you were thoughtless. At best, you were distracted. In either instance, you’re in pretty good shape overall – karma speaking. You might do something about the physical, since you want to look your best in those upcoming meetings.

Scorpio: Once upon a time you let yourself believe in happily ever after. Nowadays, you’re more alert to the exigencies of reality. You want something more grounded: reality, say. You wouldn’t be feeling so hoist by your own petard if you could trust others a little more.

Sagittarius: Peace at any price is too high a price to pay. Unless you’re willing to be the Second Polish Republic. So strap on your battered armor and get the old nag saddled. It’s time to shine with a good back-light and ride in to save the day. You’ll collect a greater reward than you knew.

Capricorn: It can take a long time for great things to happen. You have the fortitude to wait out the long fallow period preceding your inevitable success and subsequent payoff. But will you be happy with the fruit of your labors when it arrives? Compromise is not indicated here.

Aquarius: You’ve been in the “look but don’t touch” zone for long enough. Will you keep your hands in your pockets forever? Will you modestly avert your eyes? Will you contain your enthusiasm behind a wall of bonhomie? You don’t have to, but you do have to choose.

Pisces: Pretending is fun, up to a point. You’re a great believer in acting as though the situation were what you want until it catches up with your intent and desire. But then there’s tiresome reality. Sometimes we can’t believe a thing into reality. What’s your fallback position?


September 23-30, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: With everything in flux, you might as well allow yourself to enjoy the crazy ride you’re on. With everything changing up, you might as well let go of what was and get used to what’s coming. With everything different, you might train yourself to look forward instead of bemoaning a past which will never come again. Take advantage of the chaos to maximize your position in the new world order. You’ll do even better if you let your friends lend a hand Friday.

Aries: You’ve seen a lot. You’ve been through even more. You’re ready for any challenge — at least that’s what you keep telling yourself. It would be truer if you were less attached to things as they are at present. How will you toughen up so that you can allow necessary change?

Taurus: You’re not pleased with the lay of the land. Will you move? Will you move it? Is this how to make good feng shui? You’re coloring outside the lines, there’s no sense in holding yourself back now. You can do anything you want, anyway you feel like doing it.

Gemini: You’re on a roll and you didn’t even feel round when you started. But you’ve got momentum and now would be an inconvenient time to lose it. Practice staying loose. Practice keeping your flow going. Practice your best imitation of the wind through the trees.

Cancer: Sometimes the most important action in any campaign is waiting. Timing is everything here, and you have much to gain through the application of a little patience and a smidge of strategy. Gather your troops and assess their strengths and positions. Planning helps.

Leo: You’re at the end of your rope and you’re not sure you want to tie a knot to hang on. If you’re that fed up, you need to decide if there’s any chance of recovering your objectives, or if you really can cut your losses and get on with making the most of the rest of your life.

Virgo: Destiny wears many masks. Fate takes different shapes at different times in our lives. How will you recognize the essential nature of your being when it stands unfamiliar on your doorstep, hoping to be let in like a lost puppy? Shut your eyes and listen to your nose.

Libra: You’re wearing the cutest accessory you own: your smile. Now you don’t have to charge through your wardrobe like a tornado through a trailer park, since you already understand your assets better than you did a moment ago. Natural features will take you farther Sunday.

Scorpio: Are you alone in your consternation? Are others feeling the pressure, though they don’t understand its source or the possible relief efforts available all around them? You’re attached to the ineffable at the hip. You’re connected to the eternal, so why not act like it?

Sagittarius: You’re ready to get from here to there. So now you need to get down to brass tacks and make the details shiny enough that they may be read from a great distance by a skeptic with lost glasses. Now is not the time to be subtle. Spell it out in large, bright lights.

Capricorn: You could give in to despair. But that would be a tactic both unattractive and reductionist. You have more to offer than that. You could find more to experience than that, if you didn’t feel so sapped of energy. Supplement with ginseng and extra B vitamins Saturday.

Aquarius: Where did you come from the last time things were sliding around this way? You have more maturity and more perspective on your side this time. You don’t have to fall for the same old line. You don’t have to repeat the tired old mistakes. Share the truth.

Pisces: It’s not you. You were where you were meant to be and doing the right thing at the right time. Now you’ve got that off your mind, you’re free to concentrate on the mixed messages you’ve been receiving from your heart. You have one more choice than you’re admitting.


September 9-16, 2010

Heavenly Round Up: All that backlog, that accumulated guano, is aimed at the fan and waiting for the slightest shift to let loose. What can you do about it? 1) Don’t be in the path of the fan. 2) Wear weatherproof gear, even to bed. 3) See if you can call in some kind of a designated catcher, so that you’re not the one to be catching it all when entropy has its way with things. But seriously folks, you can (and will) survive by thinking outside the box.

Aries: There’s a front and a back to every problem. There’s an inside and an outside view of each and every complex issue. There’s a top and a bottom on all priority lists. Focus yourself. Find your inner compass and use it to find and hold your course in growing awareness.

Taurus: You would have sworn you were ready for anything. You had no idea to what extent anything could go. You now have an intricate puzzle to solve, and you’re not sure you have the time to do it right. Still, the other resources are on hand. Call in a favor.

Gemini: You’ve been there and done that. You’re now mentoring others through the process. You’re proud of the progress you’ve made, but it’s not time to sit back on your laurels just yet. Stay sharp, stay attuned to the zeitgeist, and stay in the best shape you can muster.

Cancer: Heroics overtake even the most staid lives and placid circumstances. You may find yourself thrust into the role of heroism, even against your will. Home training is the hardest set of habits to shake, and you may not dodge this bullet in time. Wear a smile on Tuesday.

Leo: Walking the talk has worn out more pairs of your shoes than you care to count. You’re as sincere as the day you started this campaign, and you’re as dedicated to the pursuit of excellence as you’ve ever been. Don’t let niggling criticisms drag your mood down. You rock!

Virgo: Effectiveness, competence and comprehension have always been your go-to strengths. Now you’re going to have to draw on your less-realized skills to get from one end of the maze that is your daily life to the other. You have more allies than you remember. Consult.

Libra: Wherever you go, there you are. And there still will be more things than your philosophies have dreamt of. Keep your mind – and your eyes – open. You will remember this time as one a little simpler than what will challenge you down the line. Hang with a Leo.

Scorpio: Once upon a time, your life was safe. Once upon a time, you knew how all your days and weeks were shaped before they happened. Once upon a time, you were in stasis. Now everything is free-wheeling, except when it’s free-falling. Get used to the sensation.

Sagittarius: You’re in an exciting phase of your existence. As usual. But this is a bit different. Here be choices, the likes of which you rarely see and even less frequently exploit. Watch your options like a hawk. Scan the terrain for hidden opportunities. Remember.

Capricorn: Calling all hobgoblins! It’s early for the darkness to overtake the day, but you’re in a funk and you don’t want to walk in the light just now. Whilst you mope in the shadows, you might poke about in the corners and see what you can find that others may have lost.

Aquarius: Are you a man or a mouse? Wouldn’t it be easier if you turned out to be the mouse? Yet you have a home-field advantage you haven’t yet begun to make the most of. You have amazing stamina, which you haven’t yet tapped. You have a nice smile, use it!

Pisces: The times they are a changin’, or so we hear. Will you change with them, or try to create a mini-warp in which to lay low? The first choice uses less energy. The second choice preserves you from sullying interactions with the wide, wide world. Open up.


Sept. 2-9, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re bringing in the harvest of the current lunar cycle. Will you be eating your words? Putting up deep thoughts for the winter months to come? Laying down neighborly ties to see you through your next round of challenges? Keep an eye on what goes into your brain and what comes out of your mouth. If you can, try to think twice before you speak once. Integrity will take you farther down the road than you might believe from where you stand now. Consult with a Virgo.

Aries: You’re still a contender, but the contest has moved into the modern era – and so will you if you want to stay in the game. Modernize your approach, update your look, give your ambitions a makeover. Once you’ve reset your clock, you’ll be rarin’ to go. Bring a small dog.

Taurus: Can you see around corners? All righty then, you can stop blaming yourself as of now. It’s time to get back on that horse and ride for all you’re worth. Though it won’t be easy, the hardest parts aren’t aimed at you and you’ll have little trouble avoiding the worst of it.

Gemini: You can see for miles and miles, but only when you pause to focus. Slow down and take a good look at the terrain through which you’re traveling. You may surprise yourself with the details you’re able to take in and eventually make use of. Consult with an Aquarius.

Cancer: Are you a person or a mouse? Is it time to stand up for what you believe in, even if the prevailing winds and current thinking aren’t moving in your vein? You only get one chance at each moment in your life. Make these count and you’ll stand tall and proud Friday.

Leo: If only you could put your finger on the point of adversity and excise it cleanly from your life. If only there was an enemy you could reach and eradicate permanently. But there’s a cloud of concern. There are pieces of the puzzle missing. And you still have to choose.

Virgo: Whatever your bias, you have the technique necessary to evaluate the system dispassionately. As those around you are busy losing their heads, you may have to step up to the plate and take the matter in hand personally. Become a force for good on Saturday.

Libra: Like a lotus blossom, there’s a lot of filth supporting your floating beauty and ravishing ephemerality. Can you acknowledge what’s going on beneath the surface, or would it muss your exquisite presentation? Sometimes, you have to allow the ugly out. Look again.

Scorpio: Your dreams point one way. Reality points another. In as much as you have the personal mojo to shift the world and all the physics in it, you may have to buckle down and decide if you’re going to go all out on this one – or if you’re just not that into it. Engage.

Sagittarius: Once upon a time you were so sure that love would conquer all. Now you’re convinced that you fall into the category of ”all.” And you’re not so certain you wanted to be conquered. Is resistance futile? Will you go underground to achieve your ends? Ask first.

Capricorn: There are minor devils and major demons. Stop and do some baseline classification. Make a list, if that will help you to organize your thoughts and promote an active response. Moping won’t get you anywhere but deeper in the kimchi. Call in a round of favors.

Aquarius: You’re floating away on a sea of suppositions not grounded in the common perceptual field known as reality. This is okay, if you’re still getting where you meant to go and enjoying the path you’ve chosen to tread. Otherwise, you may have to wake yourself up.

Pisces: You’re the queen of all you survey, and you’re not afraid to act like it. In fact, you’re in an ”off with their heads” mood just at present. Don’t back away from your position if you believe yourself to be in the right. Sometimes termination is the best solution. Call early.