Metro Weekly

Do These Five Things for Valentine's

2. Break Bread

Sharing a meal is one of the most primal experiences in life. From the piranha swarming collectively over some struggling waterfowl, a pride of lions coming together for the hunt, or a cow nursing her calf, nourishment is intimate.

The key to an appropriate meal on Valentine’s Day is that, one, it not be too filling, and, two, at least some portion of it is eaten by hand. The first part helps ensure you’re not feeling heavy and bloated, which could ruin the rest of your night. The second part – whether it’s picking up oysters to slurp or biting into an apple in your hand – primes your appetites’ pumps. Should your partner, however, have table manners that irritate you, keep it to yourself, at least for this one day. Or, even better, take the lead. She eats with her mouth open? Keep stuffing it with strawberries and you’ll hardly notice. He holds his fork incorrectly? Find excitement in his savage disregard for pretense.

Cooking the meal yourself could earn you points if you know what you’re doing and you can live with leaving the dishes till Feb. 15. Getting your hands sudsy together might sound romantic, but that particular flame gets fully doused in application.

It may be of even greater importance for single people to share some fellowship with a Valentine’s dinner. On this particular day, ”soup for one” tragically becomes ”soup for lonely.” Instead, revel in your singlehood with a night out with other single friends. Look for blissful couples at the venue you choose and entertain yourselves by imagining what secrets they keep from each other, or how their relationships will eventually end.

Follow Will O'Bryan on Twitter @wobryan.