SONiA Organizes Benefit Concert for Wife Battling Glioblastoma
As Terry Irons fights brain cancer, 15 musical acts unite for a benefit concert honoring her decades of service to music and the community.
Sonia Rutstein had known Terry Irons for nearly a decade before they became romantically involved in the late 1990s.
Terry was a band manager, music festival organizer, and activist, and Sonia’s band, disappear fear, which she formed with her sister, Cindy, was among the acts the promoter regularly booked. “I had Las Vegas Pride one weekend and then the weekend later I had Long Beach Pride,” recalls Sonia. “Terry said that if I wanted, I could stay with her because Terry had a hotel room for the entire week in Long Beach.”
Sonia, who had long harbored a crush on Terry (“I thought she was gorgeous”), didn’t hesitate. “I was like, okay!” she says.
“So I’m doing my best to flirt with her and she’s having none of it,” the lesbian folksinger says. “I was in one bed. She was in the other bed. After four nights, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I just jumped into her bed and said, ‘There’s something going on here.’ And she’s like, ‘Nothing’s going on!'”
Needless to say, something went on.
“I don’t think we got more than one hundred hours of sleep in the next two years,” Sonia says with a laugh. “Definitely worth it.”
The couple, who married in 2008, have been inseparable for nearly three decades. It’s been a rich, rewarding relationship — both romantically and professionally — as Terry took up the gauntlet as Sonia’s manager. Recently, however, things took a sobering turn when Terry was diagnosed with glioblastoma, a malignant, highly aggressive brain tumor, in October 2024.
“Glioblastoma is the worst, maybe the meanest aggressive cancer,” Sonia says somberly, noting that Terry, now 65, has undergone two brain surgeries. “These tumors spread via microscopic ‘tentacles’ into healthy brain tissue, so complete surgical removal is virtually impossible.” Terry is currently taking Lomustine, “the final drug” in a chemotherapy regimen. “After that, there is nothing else.”
Terry was “given a 95% chance of not living past 12 months,” says Sonia, noting that it’s now been 20 months. “She keeps pushing the envelope,” she says, marveling at her wife’s strength. Still, it’s been a difficult road.
To help cover Terry’s medical expenses and honor the woman who has meant the world to her for nearly three decades, Sonia has organized a benefit concert on Saturday, July 18, at the Recher Theatre in Towson, Maryland.
Fifteen acts are scheduled to perform, including Ellis Paul, BETTY, Caroline Aiken, Sarah Pinsker, KFo Kristen Ford, Cydny Bullens, Don Conoscenti, Tret Fure, Terry Gonda & Kirsti Reeve, Laura Brinon, Rev. Christy Snow, Tavier Domnique, Tobias Hurwitz, Annie Wenz, and the SONiA disappear fear band.
“I just said to everybody, ‘This is your Grammy moment. Bring your best song, get in, do it, floor everybody, and then you’re gone,'” says Sonia. The event will also feature a silent auction, highlighted by a Martin guitar signed by the Indigo Girls.
“If we could raise $150,000, that would be amazing,” says Sonia. But the concert has a deeper purpose than fundraising.
“These are all people that Terry has worked with and helped promote through the years,” says Sonia. “It’ll be a high, hopefully, that she can live on longer by. This event is an opportunity for her and the people in her life from around the country to exchange hugs. When she feels loved and acknowledged, that goes a long, long way.”
Meanwhile, the couple is coping as best they can. The tumor is in the right frontal lobe, Sonia explains, “which affects empathy, personality, and emotions. So Terry is a human being with no filters.”
At one point during the hour-long Zoom, Sonia breaks down. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through,” she says, struggling to hold back tears. “I’m in the moment with her, and all the questions and all the fears that you have about life are right here, you know? Like, why is this happening? What am I gonna learn from this? Is she gonna be here for three days or three months? Because she’s on steroids — I call it ‘teroids’ because her fuse is lit. Some days it feels like she has two emotions: just complete crying in frustration and complete anger.”
Still, an abundance of love is helping them through the health crisis. “We got married because one of the things she said to me was, ‘I wanna be with you until we can finish each other’s sentences.’ But, you know, they say life comes at you — and you want life to come at you, just to be in it all the way. So I’m in it all the way.”
Concert 4 Terry is Saturday, July 18, at The Recher Theatre, 512 York Rd. in Towson, Md. Doors open at 7 p.m., with the show beginning at 8 p.m. General admission standing tickets are $42.92. Visit therechermd.com.
Those unable to attend can still support Terry by donating through her GoFundMe campaign.
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