Metro Weekly

Don't Do These Five Things for Valentine's

4. Don’t Forget that Two’s Company

We get it. You have an adventurous streak that you’d like to explore with your new boyfriend. Or your appetite is waning after a few years of marriage and you’re hoping for a little spice to have with your wife. Hey, we’re all gay here. We know a lot of us come up with creative ways to address these issues.

But not tonight. Valentine’s Day isn’t the holiday to ask for a three-way or, for a thruple, broach the topic of a ménage à quatre. Thanksgiving? Maybe. Christmas? Definitely. But not Valentine’s.

Sure, Valentine’s is a crassly marketed and wildly over-commercialized holiday that manipulates couples into saying ”I love you” and spending a little cash. Just go with it. There are worse things in the world than playing along with the conceit that the person you’re with is the only person for you, because if you’re really lucky it will happen to be true. This is not the night to open a discussion of becoming ”monogamish” or confessing sexual infidelities.

Time and place, people. Time and place.

Sean Bugg is Editor Emeritus for Metro Weekly.