Metro Weekly

All About Bob: An Interview with Bob the Drag Queen

Bob the Drag Queen talks about everything from 'We're Here' to the Walker vs. Warnock race to Kanye, Kyrie, and even Bill Murray.

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Albert Sanchez and Pedro Zalba
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Albert Sanchez and Pedro Zalba

Bob the Drag Queen is up to something — but it might not be what you’d think. “I’m plotting and scheming what I’ll do for breakfast,” says Bob, zooming in from Hollywood to chat about a new season of HBO’s Emmy-winning drag-themed reality series, We’re Here.

Whatever Bob plots for breakfast won’t involve him cooking. “I cook zero meals a day. If you average out all the meals I cook in a week, it would literally still be zero. If you average out the meals in a month, it would probably still be zero.”

The entertainer, also known as Caldwell Tidicue, prefers to keep things cooking onstage and across all forms of media — whether crisscrossing the country alongside drag sister Monét X Change on the Sibling Rivalry Live Tour, or performing standup to sold-out clubs on his solo comedy tour.

We’re Here‘s third season, premiering November 25 on HBO, caps a year that’s kept the RuPaul’s Drag Race season 8 champ on the road pretty much nonstop. Fitting in the comedy tour while on a brief sojourn from Sibling Rivalry, the multimedia extravaganza born of Bob and Monét’s popular podcast, Bob will be back with Mo’ for another leg of their tour in 2023.

“I’m always on the road,” says Bob. “I’m never not, unless we’re during COVID, or the short stint where I was doing Angels in America at the Berkeley Repertory Theater. So it’s not unusual for me to be in these streets, you know what I mean?”

While Drag Race fans and friends can sometimes find Bob kiki-ing with their favorite queens on TV as host of the beloved RPDR recap show The Pit Stop, on “the circuit” is where you’ll often find him.

“I’ve done Werq the World, War On The Catwalk, Drag Queen Christmas, Christmas Queen, Season 8 Tour, In the Dark, Club Couture. If there is a place that does these mega drag queen tours, I’ve probably already been on the tour. I’ve been doing this for maybe six, seven years now, the Drag Race famous drag queen touring circuit.”

The pace never stops and Bob’s not complaining. “I mean, I don’t work every second of every day,” he says. “I feel like I work a normal amount, in my brain. I feel like the amount of work I do is pretty standard in my opinion.”

When the queen does slow down for scintillating interview conversation, Bob is one of the quickest, most agile minds in the drag game, a delight to talk to about any subject, from the Walker vs. Warnock race for the Senate, to Kanye and Kyrie to Bill Murray’s enviable career. He even busted out a damn good Trump impression. What can’t Bob do?

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Jacob Ritts
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Jacob Ritts

METRO WEEKLY: So I wanted to ask you about the Herschel Walker versus Raphael Warnock race. Mostly because we’re Americans and it matters, but also I wondered what your opinion is on it as a native Georgian.

BOB THE DRAG QUEEN: I’m just really shocked. I’m actually blown away that this many people voted for Herschel Walker, that it’s down to a runoff. Herschel Walker? I mean, even his son hates him. Like, what?

MW: I was going to ask about his son, Christian, too, because I was just watching the interview you did with him on your Only Child podcast. What was your takeaway from that conversation?

BOB: It’s that when you’re born with a lot of privilege, it’s really hard to see outside of it. It’s really hard to see how hard it can be for other people, because you’re so privileged. And I still think to this day that Christian is going to one day turn around and be some massive liberal, or at least libertarian. Because, I don’t know, there’s no way what he’s doing now is sustainable.

MW: Do you have any queer conservative friends?

BOB: I mean, not that they let me know. Every once in a while I call Christian Walker. Not that I consider that we’re close. We’re not close friends or anything. So, not really, no. Do you?

MW: I don’t think so. Again, it’s more “none that I know of.” But there’s probably somebody out there who’s making that vote.

BOB: Yeah, I don’t know who’s voting for what, but I’m also very liberal. So I feel like a lot of my friends, if they were conservative, they would not feel comfortable telling me because they know how outspokenly liberal I am.

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Jacob Ritts
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Jacob Ritts

MW: That’s why a lot of people, they keep their traps shut.

BOB: They’re closeted conservatives?

MW: Well, around their friends. Closet conservatives, I guess. Are we in a position where liberals are less closeted about it? It seems conservatives are pretty out loud about it on We’re Here at least. Especially this season.

BOB: I guess it depends on where you are, you know what I mean? Where you are will probably dictate whether or not you feel comfortable sharing your beliefs, I imagine.

MW: I want to shout out that your solo comedy tour is going to my hometown of Louisville on December 1st, which I saw is sold out. Congratulations. People are embracing you as a standup. How does that feel? Because from our side, people knew you first as a drag performer, although you’ve always been doing standup.

BOB: Well, that’s the thing. When people say they do drag, it doesn’t really tell you what they do. It just tells you how they dress when they’re doing what they’re doing. So there are drag singers, there are drag dancers, there are drag comedians. There are people who do strictly lip-syncs. I know drag photographers who do drag just on the internet. People who are digital drag, meaning their drag doesn’t really leave the internet.

I’ve been doing standup for maybe 14 years now. So it is interesting to me that people are like, “Oh, I didn’t realize Bob was a standup comedian.” But I guess if you know me through the world of television — and I do feel-good reality television — then you come to my show and you’re like, “This bitch is raunchy.” I don’t do an episode of We’re Here at my show.

MW: I watched the Stand Out comedy special on Netflix and that’s not a raunchy set.

BOB: By the way, raunchy is not a dig.

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Jacob Ritts
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Jacob Ritts

MW: No, no, I’m good with raunchy.

BOB: There’s nothing wrong with it. That is not a dig or a cutdown — there is nothing wrong with a raunchy joke. But not every second, I don’t come out and go “sucking dick and pussies and dicks.” I mean, it’s well-crafted humor.

MW: Stand Out was a major lineup. As somebody who’s watched Drag Race since the beginning, I was excited to see you and Trixie in that lineup with legends. Were any of those people comedy heroes of yours?

BOB: Yeah, Wanda Sykes is obviously a brilliant comedy icon. Rosie O’Donnell is obviously a great, wonderful comedian. Sandra Bernhard. I was also there with some of my great friends, Matteo Lane, Trixie Mattel, and also a lot of acquaintances of mine or industry people that I know who I really admire, like Joel Kim Booster. There’s some really great fierce names there.

MW: Are any of them who you turn to when you want to just laugh?

BOB: I mean, obviously Wanda Sykes is one of my favorite comedians of literally all time. And Matteo Lane is someone I literally call on the phone when I want to chat or gossip or kiki about something.

MW: I’m curious about what that would be, but that’s none of my business. But I bet that’s really funny.

BOB: Well, it’s usually gossiping about boys, or one of our other friends. [Laughs.]

MW: So this is sort of a housekeeping question: Will you be hosting, or do you know who’s hosting The Pit Stop for Drag Race season 15?

BOB: I do not know who’s hosting. And best of luck to whoever it is — I did a great job. Just kidding. Best of luck to whoever is hosting because it is a really, really fun job, and there’s a lot of social rewards that come with it.

MW: Like what?

BOB: You get a really great audience. The Pit Stop itself has a dedicated following outside of who’s hosting it. It’s a dedicated Drag Race following. I’m one of those people. I watch every episode of The Pit Stop. I absolutely love the show. And I think that when they decided to have a drag queen host, that was probably the smartest thing they’ve ever done on The Pit Stop. Because it used to not be drag. If you’re a long-time watcher of The Pit Stop like I am, it used to be I think Kingsley who did it for a short while.

MW: Why isn’t it definitely going to be you?

BOB: Well, I can’t just go around taking jobs. I can’t just walk into Paramount’s offices and go, “Give me this job.” You have to wait for offers to come in.

MW: To that end, now that we’ve seen how an all-winners season functions, did that pique your interest to participate? Or was it like, “No, thank you”?

BOB: No thank you. I will pass. Even though I’ve only done it once, and a lot of my friends have done it a few times and I get jealous when I see them do it because I want to, it just looks… Drag Race was fun for me. I really enjoyed myself. [But] I think I am done competing on a reality TV show. I think I’ve had my fill of reality television competitions. No shade to anyone who competes on the show. I mean, obviously, I did. I’m from reality TV. That’s how anyone reading this knows my voice, is from reality TV.

MW: I want to talk about your video and single, “Black.” There’s a really good bar there I wanted to ask about — “Get your Black ass…”

BOB: “Get your Black ass to the front of the class/If Rosa Parks could see you now, she’d be beatin’ that ass.”

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Jacob Ritts
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Jacob Ritts

MW: Exactly. So who was that about? In general, or specifically.

BOB: When I was younger, I used to get told by Black teachers and Black elders in my family, “You cannot sit at the back of the bus. You’re not allowed to sit at the back of the bus, because so many people fought just so you could have the right.” And it was really cool to sit at the back of the bus because that’s where all the trouble goes. You’re the furthest from the driver, and it’s usually where the trouble is. And I just remember someone being like, “Why would you ever sit at the back of the bus? You know how hard people fought so that you didn’t have to, and now you’re clamoring and running to get to the back of the bus?”

I also thought about the same thing with being in class. A lot of people want to be at the back of the class because they can act up back there. But it’s like, get your ass to the front of the class and fucking learn something, Mary. That’s why I love saying “If Rosa Parks could see you now, she’d be beating that ass.” Just to imagine Rosa Parks going through all that, and then watching her people clamor to sit at the back of the bus, and be in the back of the classroom.

MW: I felt like applying that bar to some specific people who claim to be informed but maybe need to get back to class. But you were not talking about anybody specific, I don’t think.

BOB: Well, who are you talking about?

MW: Oh, I mean, sort of a general Kanye, Kyrie kind of thing.

BOB: Oh, well, I mean Kanye West is obviously really… Kanye West is, I feel, obviously going through some sort of a mental ordeal. And I think that mental illness paired with misinformation could really lead to a dangerous situation, which I think Kanye West is finding himself in. And that is not to absolve Kanye West, I believe that you should be held responsible for your actions. I mean, mental illness is not an excuse to break the law, nor is it an excuse to act wild toward people. But there’s something going on there. There’s something more than just this guy hates Jewish people. It’s like this guy is, there’s something… “What’s not clicking, Steven?” You know what I mean? It’s giving that.

MW: Yeah, something’s off there. And then of course there’s the isolation of insane wealth.

BOB: He doesn’t get it. Like back when he made the comments about George Floyd dying with fentanyl in his system, and then he made a statement to the press that was like, “I’m really thankful to my people for holding me accountable because now I see what it feels like to have a knee on my neck.” And I was like, you think that people holding you accountable for saying racist things, antisemitic things, wearing a White Lives Matter shirt, Adidas stripping you of your brand deals after loudly saying they literally would never? I saw a thing online this year a while back that said, “Lady, don’t ever say your nigga would never, because they will never, ever all over you.” And, baby, Adidas never-evered all over Kanye West’s face.

But he thinks that that’s the same as being murdered by poorly trained police officers? Okay, something’s not clicking. Something is not clicking. Because it’s not like he’s been rich forever. It’s not like his whole life he’s been rich. And so in theory there is still a tether, in theory. There’s just a lot of fucking slack on that rope.

MW: Very well put. Conservatives like him accuse everyone else of having a victim complex and then always play the victim themselves.

BOB: But is he even a conservative or is he just an agent of chaos?

MW: Or a hustler?

BOB: It only started getting serious to him when he started losing money. But it also lets you know that it seems like he worships money. He thinks that being the richest Black man in America — which I don’t even know if that’s actually a true statement. He keeps saying it and it’s giving Donald Trump. You remember Donald Trump just kept yelling how rich he was? And remember it turned out to be like, “Actually, according to all this paperwork we have, you are struggling, Mr. Trump.” And he’d be like, [Trump impression] “No, I’m very rich. I’m incredibly rich, richer than you. Richer than anyone. Billions and billions of dollars.” And Kanye West gives that same vibe, he just keeps yelling all about “I’m the richest Black man in America or in the world.” I think he says “the richest Black man in the history of America.” I’m like, I don’t think that’s even true but you just keep saying it.

MW: That was a decent Trump. Do you do Trump onstage?

BOB: No, never. That’s something I do in private. I love to imitate politicians. I do Barack Obama and Bernie Sanders. I don’t do any of them particularly well, but I do them all the time.

MW: Who would I like to see you do then? I mean Kamala is the first person who comes to mind.

BOB: Okay. Yeah, Kamala’s always like, [slipping into Kamala mode] “We, as Americans. M’kay.” It’s not great, but…

MW: It was respectful.

BOB: It tickles me.

MW: So we’ll put that in print. All right, so on We’re Here, in the Mississippi episode, somebody says to you, “You must be from the South,” and you respond that you’re from Georgia and Mississippi. What did you mean by that?

BOB: So I’m from Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi. I was raised in the South. I moved around a lot as a kid. Okay, here’s the cut, the breakdown. I was born in Columbus, Georgia, then I moved to Phoenix City, Alabama, then I moved to Corinth, Mississippi, then I moved back to Phoenix City and then I moved to LaGrange, Georgia, and then I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. And that was birth until I graduated high school. And then I went back to Columbus for college, and then I moved to New York City by the time I was 22.

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Jacob Ritts
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Jacob Ritts

MW: Was that divorced parents? Because I’m a divorced kid.

BOB: No. My parents were never married. I lived with my mom my whole life. We just moved a lot. You know what? Poor parents. It was poor mom, and just moving around a lot and having to do a lot of accommodations.

MW: You mentioned on the show that you have really strong feelings about Mississippi, and you didn’t necessarily want to put them all out there. Something that Shangela says that I totally related to, based on the week I spent there for a visit, is when she talks about how there’s a good mix of people, but you don’t see the people mixing. That 100 percent described the experience I had. What are your strong feelings about being there?

BOB: Well the real question is, is that unique to Mississippi? You know what I mean? Is, specifically, people staying segregated… I mean, I moved to New York City and I was like, what is going on here? Y’all all have a neighborhood, even the white folks are separating? Y’all have Italian neighborhoods and Polish neighborhoods and Jewish neighborhoods? So even the white folks have separated from the different kinds of white. Even the Black people. There’s a Jamaican neighborhood, there’s a Haitian neighborhood, there’s an African neighborhood, there’s a Dominican neighborhood. Puerto Rican neighborhoods. I was like, what is going on?

So I don’t know that that is specific to Mississippi, to be fair, but I do think that it is prevalent in Mississippi. I think the wealth inequality — the wealth gap — probably has a lot to do with that. When I was talking to Herschel Walker’s son, I was talking about how wealth can affect you for generations. And he’s like, “Well why? Why? They’re just poor.” And I was like, just in the same way that prosperity and money and mental health in a positive way can affect you for generations, the same goes for the opposite. So if the Rockefellers are still rich, then why does it shock you that the Jenkinses are still poor?

MW: Exactly. Him not getting that was really sort of, I mean, it’s amusing, but it’s just like, wow.

BOB: It’s because he was raised with a millionaire family.

MW: But you had to bring that up. It doesn’t seem like he acknowledged it. It was really strange.

BOB: I don’t think Christian Walker’s dumb. And I think that he’s a little bit salacious and he’s young and he’s getting a lot of attention, but I don’t think he’s dumb. I think he probably knows what he’s doing a little bit.

MW: I almost always think that people know what they’re doing. That’s my paranoia maybe.

BOB: You know what it is? I don’t think I’m smarter than everyone else. You know some people who think that everyone’s dumb? I don’t think everyone’s dumb. I think most people are actually doing pretty good and I don’t think “Everyone’s stupid.” I’m not one of those people in life. I think that people know what the fuck they’re doing and they’re doing it on purpose a lot of times.

MW: Yeah, totally. In the Jackson episode, the guy that you work with clearly experiences some kind of breakthrough that we all get to see in that final performance of “And I’m Telling You, I Am Not Going.” What did you witness in that moment?

BOB: So my drag child De’Bronski, who is, well honestly, one of the best performers I think we’ve had on the show.

MW: I would agree.

BOB: And, spoiler alert, is the first one to do a number solo. No one’s done a number solo.

MW: Oh, yeah, I didn’t think about that.

BOB: I was like, “You need to tell your own story. You don’t need me barging in to get the storyline popping.” And it was really amazing. I think that De’Bronski was a victim of some — he didn’t use the word abuse — abuse from his family, not just as a young person but also as an adult, and some gaslighting and being ostracized. So you end up putting up your own defenses.

When you’re in the South, when you’re growing up, you’re often growing up through the lens of what it means to be a man. Always what it means to be a man, as if that’s some badge of honor. And I remember being a kid asking my mom, “Why can’t we just focus on what it means to be an adult? Why are my responsibilities different from my cousin Amanda’s? What does that even mean?” And also when you think about it now, my responsibilities, my cousin Amanda has three kids. I’m just some guy living in a small apartment in Hollywood. I think that my cousin Amanda probably has more responsibilities than I do. But meanwhile, I was focusing on what it means “to be a man” and what it means to take care of this, that, and the other. Which I think can send a really negative message to a lot of young people, especially young nonbinary people, trans people, young girls, about their worth and what they can achieve.

Bob The Drag Queen -- Photo: Albert Sanchez and Pedro Zalba
Bob The Drag Queen — Photo: Albert Sanchez and Pedro Zalba

MW: That plays into something else that happens with De’Bronski, that he talks about identifying as MSM and not gay or queer. Personally, I’ve always thought of MSM as sort of a clinical term, that I’ve only seen it used clinically and not as somebody applying it to themselves. But I don’t judge it. On camera, you had a reaction. So what do you think of MSM as an identifier?

BOB: I think that identities are valid and I think that how you identify is valid for you no matter whether you identify as gay, straight, bi, MSM or, as some will go, “I don’t like labels.” There’s those people as well who I’m always like, do you really not like labels, or do you just not like this one label? Let’s really talk about it, Mary. Is it labels or is it one specific label you’re trying to avoid because of the negative connotation that may or may not come along with it? But that’s neither here nor there. I think that his identity is valid, and there’s probably a reason why he doesn’t want to identify as gay. It may be because of the negative connotations to it, or it may just be because deep down he just doesn’t feel like a gay man.

[“We use labels oftentimes to figure out how people fit into society. Or we use them on ourselves to try to fit into society, or to feel a sense of belonging. But I feel like De’Bronski was so ostracized that he didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere.”[/pullquote]

We use labels oftentimes to figure out how people fit into society. Or we use them on ourselves to try to fit into society, to try to get ourselves in a certain group, or to feel a sense of belonging. But I feel like a lot of times De’Bronski was so ostracized that he didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere.

MW: It actually made me think about why I cling to “gay” any more than anything else. It made me think about it, which is absolutely a benefit of that show for anybody watching.

BOB: I mean, I know why I cling to the term gay. When I moved to New York City and found the queer community there, for the first time in my life I felt really accepted somewhere. And being a queer New Yorker really meant a lot to me. I felt so seen, like really, truly seen for probably the first time in my own life, to be honest. And I’ve never really been someone who runs from labels at all. And I think that a lot of times people are running from labels. And this is just an assumption, this does not make what I’m saying true. But I think a lot of times people who are running from labels, what they’re actually running from is the negative stereotypes or connotations that are associated with that label. It’s not really about the label.

MW: I thought about that, when the story shows him hanging out with his cousins, his extended family, a big group of loving and accepting straight people who talk about having teased him all his life.

BOB: Assumed straight people. We don’t know.

MW: Assumed straight people. But his cousin jokes about “Well, we teased you all your life.” And it’s like, it’s funny and it’s loving, but also, what were they teasing him about? And maybe that has something to do with why he prefers MSM and not gay?

BOB: Yeah, I didn’t ask them to go into the specifics about what they were teasing him about. I wasn’t trying to open up or rehash any wounds. But yeah, it’s a really tough scenario and situation to talk about because part of it’s like, yeah, I guess you’re all teasing because you’re friends. But also deep down, what effect is that really having on your loved ones?

MW: We see a lot of opposition on this season. People make threats on the internet and also to your faces. Did you ever feel personally threatened?

BOB: I mean, the truth is, I’m never really alone when I’m doing these things. I mean, you see me, but behind me, there’s a lot of people. We’re Here is not a small operation, so I never really feel like I’m by myself. There was a moment in Mississippi where I did get shouted down by some protestors on the street, which is funny cause I was literally just going to get ice cream. I was going to get ice cream and this guy just started yelling at me like, “Pedophile. Pervert. I bet you put little boys in your lap and you play with them.” And I was like, “I’m just trying to get ice cream.” So then I was like, “Well, I’ll talk to you, I’ll talk to anyone.” I said, “So let’s talk.” I tried to talk to him and I realized he didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to shout out his talking points, which weren’t really talking points, it was just insults. He just wanted to call me a pedophile and he just wanted to throw baseless accusations at me. And I was like, “Oh, he doesn’t actually want to have a conversation.”

MW: That is a very insightful moment, realizing that this person is just walled inside their hate. But the way that you respond to him, “You don’t even know what I’m up to,” I think so many people can relate to that. “I’m just walking down the street here and you’re calling me names. You literally have no idea what I’m about.”

BOB: Yeah, I was just someone walking down the street trying to get ice cream, and I was having insults lobbed at me on my journey to get soft serve. What’s going on here?

MW: In the Texas episode, you’ve also got book banning. You guys encounter all of America 2022 in this series.

BOB: Yeah, season three was probably our toughest — the most opposition we’ve received in a while. I think Texas might be the most unsafe I’ve ever felt doing We’re Here ever. That was the first time where we were like, “I don’t even know if we should do this.” It was pretty bad. We got doxxed, as you see, where people basically say where you’re living and where you’re staying at the time. People would call us and vaguely threaten gun violence at us or our teams. And I have a lot of religious trauma. I’m not Christian. I was raised Christian, but I am adamantly and vehemently not Christian. And there was a lot of “Christian love,” which feels very hateful sometimes, spewed at us as well.

MW: Like the woman Shangela talked to who wants to pray away drag queens.

BOB: Yeah. We did a thing in season two, we were in South Dakota, and there was this group across the street praying. They were just praying, and I’m assuming they’re praying for God’s will. That’s my assumption. So they’re sitting there, they’re praying for God’s will, and then the show went off without a hitch and we won two Emmys. So I’m like, “Girl, I think God chose.” I don’t believe in God, but if you believe in God, it sounds like God has made his mind up and he’s really into what we’re doing.

MW: What did you see or experience out there that gave you hope for where people in this country are heading?

BOB: Well, some of the young people who showed up. Eureka had a young person on her team in Granbury, [Lou], who was a senior in high school, part of the Gay-Straight Alliance. And I was like, wow. And then also seeing these parents who are creating safe spaces at home for their kids, their queer children, and their children’s friends. That does give me hope. I think that the fact that Stacey Abrams did not win in Georgia was upsetting, but the fact that Herschel Walker hasn’t won is giving me hope. The fact, there was not a red wave. Waves are blue, waves aren’t red. The fact that there wasn’t a red wave gives me hope. I’m not a pessimist. I’m actually an extreme optimist, if anything.

MW: So something I read about you is that you are or have been involved in a polyamorous relationship. Is that true? And do you have advice for others about how to sustain that kind of situation?

BOB: Yeah, so I had two partners for three years. I have one partner now, but I did have two partners for three years who I loved very much, and I still love them both very much actually.

MW: Sweet.

BOB: And I think that a lot of open communication is really important. You have to talk to each other, you have to be honest with each other, which can be really hard sometimes, especially when you think that honesty will hurt the person that you’re with. Also, I think that’s not just for polyamory, that’s for any relationship. And that’s not just romantic, that’s for business relationships and friendships and relationships with your family and friends. In my experience, for me personally, honestly has really taken me very, very far in life.

MW: But what are the tips that are specific to that situation? I feel like there must be something.

BOB: Well, I mean, I will say maybe say your feelings as soon as you’re feeling them, so that you don’t harbor anything. Try not to hold onto something for a couple days, because by the time you get to it, it could really have turned into something very nasty. Constantly checking in to make sure that everyone is feeling good about themselves and feeling like they’re cared for and they have enough time to themselves. Are you, ummm…? Can I get you some literature? Are you looking into polyamory?

MW: No, I’m just curious.

BOB: It’s okay if you are, there’s nothing wrong.

MW: No, no, no. You’re not the only person I know in a polyamorous relationship. I know somebody else in a long-term relationship who’s been cohabitating for years, and kudos. I don’t know how they do that. There’s something special to them I think.

BOB: It definitely takes a lot of communication, and it will certainly challenge your perceptions of a relationship and jealousy. And also you can learn to develop compersion, which is where you actually enjoy seeing your partner have romance and love for other people. Whenever you don’t feel like you need to be your partner’s only source of joy or happiness, then it is actually, for me, very freeing.

MW: First of all, thank you for introducing me to that word. I mean the concept I’m aware of, but I like that — compersion. Your last question is way stupider than that: Has Bob the Drag Queen seen What About Bob?

BOB: What is What About Bob?

MW: Oh my God. There you go, you haven’t. It’s a movie starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. And it’s very, very funny.

BOB: [Googling.] What-about-Bob?

MW: Directed by Frank Oz.

BOB: Is it new? [Reading.] No, 1991. I need to check this out. I saw something last night with Bill Murray in it, and Bill Murray does this thing where he goes away for a minute and then every time he comes back, he’s 20 years older. And you’re always like, “Oh my God, Bill Murray!” He does that thing, you’ll see him and you’re like, “That’s Bill Murray?! Jesus Christ.”

MW: In this case you get to go backwards. Like thirty years ago.

BOB: Maybe it was Shazam. I think he’s in the trailer for Shazam. [Murray’s in the trailer for Ant-Man and the Wasp.] I was like, Bill Murray?! Oh my God, where’ve you been? And I guess when you’re that successful and you have such a great career, you really just take the gigs you want.

MW: That could be goals.

BOB: I love working a lot, but maybe one day I will go into this thing where I do roles few and far between, and then come back 20 years later.

Season 3 of We’re Here premieres Friday, Nov. 25 on HBO Max, with new episodes streaming weekly. Visit

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