TV Game Show Host Wayne Brady Comes Out as Pansexual
51-year-old comedian and game show host says he struggled keeping his attraction to men a secret, but ultimately decided to for his mental health.
Wayne Brady, the comedian and host of the TV game show Let’s Make a Deal, has come out as pansexual in an interview with PEOPLE.
Brady, a five-time Emmy Award winner who is also a regular on the improv comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway?, told the celebrity and pop culture magazine that he is attracted to individuals regardless of their sex or gender, joking that he’s “Bisexual — with an open mind!”
Although Brady knew he was attracted to men and women, he wasn’t sure of what label to embrace.
“I couldn’t say if I was bisexual, because I had to really see what that was, especially because I really have not gotten a chance to act on anything,” the actor, who has only ever been with women romantically, explains.
“[T]o me, pan means being able to be attracted to anyone who identifies as gay, straight, bi, transsexual or non-binary,” he adds. “Being able to be attracted across the board. And, I think, at least for me for right now, that is the proper place. I took pan to mean that not only can I be attracted to any of these people or types physically, but I could be attracted to the person that is there.”
Although he’s been attracted to men, he has never dated a man — partially due to how he grew up realizing that a gay identity could be weaponized. Eager to avoid bullying or social ostracism, Brady says he never allowed himself to publicly identify as someone attracted to members of the same sex.
“What’s the fastest way to hurt another man? I’m gonna call you out of your name. I’m gonna call you gay. I’m gonna emasculate you. I’m gonna use the F-word. I learned that very early from the people around me, they’re like, ‘Oh, so those are bad things? Yeah. You, you don’t wanna be that,'” Brady says.
Due to suppressing his feelings of same-sex attraction, Brady says he’s dealt with shame and privately worried about people finding out about his sexual orientation.
“I’ve always had a wonderful community of friends who are in the LGBTQ+ community, people that I’ve grown up with in shows, gays and lesbians, and, later in life, my trans relatives and my niece. I’ve always had that community, but I’ve always felt like a sham because I wasn’t being forthcoming with myself,” he says. “I could speak out about Black issues because I can’t hide that. And you can play at being an ally, but until the day that you can truly say, ‘This is who I am, and I wanna stand next to you,’ … I always wanted that day to come.”
He adds: “I’ve told myself in the past, also, nobody needs to know my personal business. The world can absolutely go without knowing that Wayne identifies as pan. But that gave me license to still live in the shadows and to be secretive. What does that feel like to actually not be shameful, to not feel like, ‘Oh, I can’t be part of this conversation because I’m lying?'” he says. “I had to break that behavior.”
Brady says he was significantly impacted by the death of fellow comedian Robin Williams in 2014, which led him to examine his own mental health and feelings — including how both were affected by his decision to suppress his identity — and discover how to, as he puts it, “love yourself so that you don’t hurt yourself.”
“I had to start learning about myself, and I had to start owning up to things that maybe I’d either repressed, suppressed, or just didn’t wanna deal with,” Brady says. “I’ve done a lot of work on a lot of other things until now, one of the last things on that checklist was, what’s one of the last things that you need to be really happy and to be truly, authentically yourself? I gave joy at work. But the pity is then I come home, and I don’t have that joy.”
Luckily, Brady’s ex-wife, Mandie Taketa, with whom he is co-parenting their daughter, Maile, has been accepting of his coming out process.
“I just said, ‘Great,'” Takeda, the first person to whom Brady revealed his sexual orientation, told PEOPLE. “As I knew coming out would help him be happier.”
Brady now says he’s trying to live an authentic life and embrace his identity — even if he has not yet acted upon his feelings of attraction to some members of the same sex.
“[I]f I’m healthy, then I can go onstage at Let’s Make A Deal and be the best Wayne Brady that everybody wants and expects. I can be the best dad that Maile needs. I can be the best friend to Mandie, the best son to my mother, and one day, the best partner to someone, because I’m doing this for me,” he says.
“I am single, but it’s not about being with someone right now. I’ve got some work to do still. Then, Wayne as a single, open-minded pansexual can make a decision and be free and open to other people.”
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