Metro Weekly

Horoscope

April 22-28, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: You’re sluggish and out of sorts. You’re wondering why the weather (inside and out) can’t make up its mind and just be. You’re trapped in the middle of things, a long way from your comfort zone. You’re torn between the big picture and its demands on your moral conduct and personal ethics on the one hand, and your itty-bitty concerns about the day-to-day running of the life you’ve chosen and about which you can’t help but feel ambivalent. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s not insurmountable. Try!

Aries: Don’t reach out on impulse just now. There are strings attached to just about everything, and someone’s pulling your chain to boot. Rather than sulking, you might reassess and pick a more fortunate direction from which to make your attempt. Watch the clouds.

Taurus: You don’t have to be popular. You don’t have to be understood. You don’t have to be fast. You only have to be determined to get from where you are now to where you want to be. You’ll find you have the motivation once you refocus on your objectives. Ask Virgo.

Gemini: It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last time. You’re caught in the middle again, but you’re not the target this time — and you can take your pleasures where you find them. Depend on your friends to see you through the tight times, and you won’t mind the hassle so much.

Cancer: What you do next may show your mettle to the world. You’re in a corner, and it’s not (for once) a situation entirely of your own making. Choose to take the high road, and you’ll set an example to go down in the books. Think of your legacy before you act on Friday.

Leo: Was it something you ate? Was it that dream you had the other night? Was it a conversation overheard at work? All of a sudden, you’re filled with divine discontent, just when you’re meant to be more present and accounted for than you’ve ever been. Meditate for clarity.

Virgo: It isn’t your fault or problem more than anyone else’s, but you’ve been designated the problem solver here. Can you tap your circle of resources to get some help? Can you focus your own skills to make the most of your time? Can you step back and let others do, for once?

Libra: Call on your allies. It’s time to get the program back up and running. It’s time to make your mark on the world. At least it’s time to begin your preparations to get from here to there. How long did it take Hannibal to collect all those elephants? You have lots to do on Sunday.

Scorpio: You’ll sleep when this is over. You’ll catch up on your leisure time once the busy season has passed. You’ll sort out the confusion once you’ve repositioned yourself to take advantage of the fabulous situation you created for yourself, all by yourself. Celebrate with Pisces.

Sagittarius: So you want to sleep in? How is that different than usual? Have you had your iron levels checked? Are you managing your adaptogens? Have you been getting enough exercise? Your spring fever is here and now for a specific reason. Consult your dreams to learn.

Capricorn: Don’t let the general lassitude slow you down. Don’t let the ball roll away from you when it’s in your possession. Don’t give in to the general air of doubt and confusion. You have the skills most in demand at present. You’re the right person at the right time. Call.

Aquarius: Looking solves some problems. Thinking solves some problems. Talking solves some problems. Doing would make the whole mess go away entirely. Can you motivate others to follow where you would lead? Can you let the pressure do some of the work for you?

Pisces: You want to jump right in, but you’re a little shy. You want to sing out, but you don’t know if you can carry the tune. You want to make yourself useful, but you’re not convinced of your capabilities. Release your doubts. Eschew your fears. Liberate your inadequacies.

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Horoscope

April 15-21, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: Your star is shining, but clouds veil the sky. You’re ready for action, but rain falls outside. You want to go the distance, but you fear you’ve become lost from the madding crowd. What does all this mean? It means you’re foraging on your own. It means you’re taking charge of your own direction. It means you get to choose what matters apart from the judgment or participation of others. Look in the mirror. Find the truth shining in your eyes. This is the compass.

Aries: It wouldn’t be the first time you got out ahead of the pack and were so far along you weren’t certain if you were on the right road. You get to define which the right road is for you. You get to decide where your path goes and how you get there. Take a long walk.

Taurus: You worked so long and so hard you can’t help but be disappointed you’ll have to revisit all that material. You tried and pushed under such strain you can’t believe it’s not completed yet. You have a vision, it’s worth pursuing. Get back in there and just do it.

Gemini: Your active dream life and vivid imagination have crossed the boundaries between real and unreal. Now you’re running into your subconscious material on the street, at the meetings, through your networks. Can you integrate before it all runs amuck? Try.

Cancer: You have more to fear than fear itself, but fear is still the biggy. If you over-focus on your concerns you won’t be able to pay attention to what’s in front of you in the present. Let go of the paranoia, even if they are out to get you. Live in a state of quiet dignity.

Leo: The time has come to talk of many things. Will you be ready to address the current situation as it arises? Will your preparation be enough? Will you find yourself surprised by what the actual event looks like when it does occur? Will your support staff be enough?

Virgo: You’re good enough. You’re strong enough. And gosh darn it, people do like you. When you call out, you’ll find a plethora of people rally to your distress signal. When you need an extra hand, you’ll find it’s there for the asking. You have to be brave enough to ask.

Libra: Is it all hype? Is it all a fantasy? Is it all bait and switch? You want to be cynical enough to protect yourself. You want the world to be magical enough that there’s something left to believe in. You’re not alone in what you want. You only have to take a stand Monday.

Scorpio: You’ve been to the mountaintop. It wasn’t all that. You’ve seen the future. It seemed kind of boring to you. You’ve reached the epitome of your desires. And they seemed worn and small when you got there. Is it time to re-enrich your inner life? Get on with the task.

Sagittarius: You’re still a contender, but you’ve been moved to a different range of competition. No one told you the change was coming. No one warned you the rules were remade. No one gave you fair notice of anything. But you’re good at what you do. Get in there.

Capricorn: You knew ahead of time. You knew ages ago. You knew, but no one wanted to listen. Now you’re right, but it’s not the same as happy. Now everyone knows, but it’s not the same as agreement. Now you have to find that new right action to set it back in motion.

Aquarius: Persist and give yourself an ulcer. Cling and wear your muscles to their limit. Hold on and lose your place in the current flow of events. You have clear choices here. They aren’t the choices you wanted to make. They aren’t the outcomes you’d anticipated. Differentiate.

Pisces: Evolution wears many masks. This is one of those great leaps backward in order to prepare for an even greater leap forward. Use the time wisely. Release processing regrets. Now is a very good time to look into the future through the lens of the past. Find your vision.

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Horoscope

April 8-14, 2010

Heavenly Round-Up: You needn’t go to Jerusalem on your knees to turn your karma. You only have to face your self-created demons and give them a place at the table, too. Once you begin the arduous task of integrating your darker aspects with the more acceptable side of your persona, you’ll find the work less impossible than you’d imagined. Remember to take comfort where you can. Everybody needs a binky sometimes — small increments of assurance are worth a great deal right now. Call your best bro.

Aries: Don’t look now but your karma just chased your dogma right up a tree. You’re going to get an adjustment to your worldview before the week is up. It might hurt a little while it’s happening, but you’ll feel all enlightened when the process comes to fruition.

Taurus: You’d thought that last phase had been fully managed and put to bed, but like the antagonist in a horror story, there’s one more unexpected round of coping before you can call yourself “all done.” Position yourself to enjoy the weekend. God is in the details.

Gemini: Heavy-metal dreams chase through your head, and you’re not in a rested frame of mind when you wake. Cut back on the daytime stimulants. Get more exercise. Put more raw, unsalted nuts in your diet. Think about a gentle cleanse — or even a thorough house cleaning.

Cancer: It’s not the end of the world as you know it. It’s only a redefinition of the ground of being. You’re capable of riding out the chthonic changes coming your way: preparation is the key, and possession is nine-tenths of the law. Throw on your cape and play Underdog.

Leo: You want to express your love in a concrete fashion, but you’re afraid of being perceived as inflexible. You want to accumulate for the greater good, but you know you’ll be tagged as greedy. You’re creating a cycle of constant achievement, but you worry you’re in a rut.

Virgo: It’s the devil you know. He’s at the backdoor. He’s on the phone. He’s stalking you on the Internet. It used to be exciting. Now you’re annoyed that the whole thing hasn’t just run its course and gone away. Upon whom will you depend when the world rocks back?

Libra: Time and tide keep you awake at night. You can’t change them with your inputs. You can’t control them with your contributions. You can’t rise above them with your participation. Learn to live with this third eye halfway open. Learn to find the joy and beauty in the stark.

Scorpio: Destiny wears many masks. Heroism happens in every key. The extraordinary walks in anonymity. Find the magic in the mundane and you’ll be more than halfway to seeing the eternal verities with the mortal, naked eye. Call in a professional about that roof issue.

Sagittarius: You looked a long time before you committed. You developed alternative strategies before you set out on your present path. You asked experts and the person on the street before you made your map. You did your homework, but you might not know for a while.

Capricorn: If it were easy, everyone would have done it already. If it were simple, the market would be flooded. If it were a walkover, the field would be crowded. You chose the level of difficulty to demonstrate to yourself that of which you’re capable. Roll in it for a while.

Aquarius: Heaven helps those who help themselves. You’re primed to take action, but you don’t know where to start. You’re better at improving and continuing existing paradigms. Don’t be afraid to call in a ringer to position yourself for success you both crave and deserve.

Pisces: If not for the imperfections of the world, the beauties of daily life would be less visible. Don’t long for the static quality of eternity. Live in the entropic, carbon-based now. Give yourself props for existing with infinite beauty in a finite envelope. Rock your mortality.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!