Metro Weekly


May 26-June 1, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: Neither heavy, nor light. Neither full, nor empty. Neither solid, nor gaseous. Like a riddle from the old legends, you’re caught trying to keep to the middle path while balancing extremes on either side. This is no bad skill to develop. Remember to stay as grounded as possible, and you’ll have less difficulty achieving your aims and accomplishing your ends. If push should come to shove, you’ll want to take as much time as possible to sort out your best-case scenario. Delay until Sunday.

Aries: It was definitely heavier than it appeared. It was also more rare and precious than you could tell from first glance. Additionally, it carried more meaning than you could have anticipated. Revisit the choices that brought you this far. You can still pick up where you left off.

Taurus: You’re not the biggest gorilla in the movie theater, though you are awfully special. Consequently, though you can’t sit anywhere you like, you could form a coalition of more discerning patrons and have something set aside preferentially. Apply this across the board.

Gemini: You would if you could, but you’re not ready to commit – so you can’t. Do you see that you have a choice and you’ve exercised it, even though your choice involved not choosing? This is a manifestation of your internal tautological dialogues. Meditate to decrease static.

Cancer: You’re one of the best and the brightest. You’re one of the naturally talented and skilled. You’re one of the elite. But you consistently fall short of your personal benchmarks. Don’t resort to cheating to make the numbers look better – you’ll still know the truth.

Leo: Is it time yet? It might be. You’ve been patient. And you’ve been engaged. And you’ve been ready for longer than you care to know. So now might be the time. Take a deep breath and look around. You need to know as much as possible about where you are.

Virgo: You’re on a roll. You’ve got momentum and you’re not afraid to exploit it. You’ve got chops and you’re not afraid to make them work for you. All that practice, all that study and all that consideration will start paying off this cycle. Prepare yourself for greatness.

Libra: It’s not your fault, but nobody was claiming it was. It’s not your problem, but you might still be the best equipped to solve it. It’s not the end of the world, but you’d do well to live each day as if it really counted. Let go of your downtime in favor of having more.

Scorpio: Whether or not you wanted what you’ve got is almost immaterial at this point. You have what you have and now you have to figure out what you’re going to do with it. This is going to be so much better than making lemonade out of lemons. Open your heart.

Sagittarius: You’re on top of the world. This is more comforting if you can forget the way the world keeps turning. This mega wheel of fortune holds all the answers, all the solutions and all the prizes. Equally, it’s really impartial when it comes to handing them out.

Capricorn: You’ve earned it. If only that were enough to keep you going and on top of your game. You’ve earned it, but you might never be able to get it home given your transportation constraints. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back, you really have earned it.

Aquarius: It wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. You’ve aimed high and maybe didn’t get all the way there. At the same time, you’ve increased the depth of your skill sets. You’ve broadened your knowledge base. You’ve gotten really good at tying knots to hang onto.

Pisces: Here’s a beautiful time of year. Here’s the time to enjoy it. And here’s the fly in your ointment to make it all just the least bit grittier than you’d prefer. Will you toss out the lot due to the one, small imperfection? Will you hang on and work with the clean bits? Choose.


May 19-26, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: You’ve been spinning your wheels, revisiting old issues – and sometimes the whole subscription. You’ve been looking over your shoulder as you attempt forward motion, and you’ve fallen once or twice along the way. You’ve been slowing down, even as you’ve needed to achieve escape velocity. What will it take for you to get your operational mojo back? Would you believe you could get more done with less effort if you would take the time to download that ”patience” app? Ask a Taurus for their secret.

Aries: Not comfortable? Forgot your special pillow? Left your sweats in the gym locker? Okay, now that you’ve gotten that off your chest it may be time to decide if softer fabric beats out getting that laundry clean and folded. This is luxury triage: What matters stays. All else goes.

Taurus: You don’t have to make the decision right now. You do need to decide how to reprioritize your life in order to be able to make that decision meaningful when the time comes. It wouldn’t hurt if you could put the ”when” on your calendar to create a hard deadline.

Gemini: How ’bout that mulberry bush, then? You’ve been ’round and ’round it enough to have an informed opinion. Are you the monkey or the weasel in the current scenario? Do you enjoy mulberries, or was the venue accidental? Intentionalize your life by the end of the week.

Cancer: Oh, the times! Oh, the tide! Life sweeps in and out, floating new ideas and old fears both. Don’t dread the changes. They’re developmental as well as stimulating you to greater responsiveness, and more specific self-definition. Trust your judgment on Tuesday.

Leo: You can do it. You really can. You’re the shiny, golden engine that could, will and might have a while back. Put your choices in perspective. Get your act together. Practice that cute little move at the end – you’ll wow ’em in the cheap seats and the balconies alike.

Virgo: You really are the bee’s knees. You might not get a plaque saying so, but the truth is out there and it could set you free. Trust your life’s trajectory enough to put your cash and assets on the line. You won’t be disappointed. Do more with your favorite Capricorn.

Libra: It doesn’t have to be easy to be fun. It doesn’t have to be risk-free to be rewarding. It doesn’t have to be peaceful to encourage discourse. There are paradoxes out there, and they’re worth taking the time to parse and assimilate. You have choices. Use them wisely.

Scorpio: Homemade destinies might not be as tight and shiny as some you’ve seen. Homemade verities are almost always as ugly as they are undeniably true. Homemade ambition lets people know you’re not afraid to succeed on your own terms. So get over it – now!

Sagittarius: You can and you will. And yes, you should have already. Let go of the regrets and so forth. There’s too much at stake right now, and some of it has to do with your patterns regarding health and other forms of self-maintenance. Reel yourself in Friday.

Capricorn: You can and have made dreams come true. You are your own best perpetual-motion engine. Will you let your life grind to a halt over something that in the long run will barely register, even in your personal scrapbook? Collect duplicates to enhance efficiency.

Aquarius: The look-but-don’t-touch phase of operations has been completed. Now you’re in the mandatory hands-on segment of the process. If you need to get a pair of gloves on before proceeding, get busy. And don’t forget to carry a spare pair. Ask a Gemini.

Pisces: Would’ve, could’ve and should’ve have no place in your evaluation of the current situation. You’ll get further if you deal with the here and now on its own terms. Reality may bite, but not if you treat it with respect and kindness. Kiss the hand that feeds you.


May 12-19, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: There’s an undeniable something in the air. Everybody wants their ego stroked. Everybody wants to be acknowledged for their good points. Everybody wants to be recognized for their best selves and ongoing contributions therefrom. It’s nice to want; because everybody also feels like there’s more to do than there are hours in the day to get it all done. And everybody feels like they’ve done the bulk of what needs doing, more so than those around them. And everybody (in a sense) is absolutely right. Ponder.

Aries: You got a good head of steam up, and a good head start going. You’ve been on a roll and it’s taken you as far down the road as you’d hoped, if not farther. But now you’re running low on available energy and your impulse is to slow all the way down. Resist – it’s not futile.

Taurus: You’re a paragon of persistence. You’re a tower of tenacity. You’re a beacon of bullheadedness (in a good way, obviously). This is not the time to let go of your goals and coast. This is when your forward progress nets you a raise, a glowing home, an empire.

Gemini: There’s so much going on behind the scenes that you can’t be bothered with what’s going on at the front-of-house. The drama! The power plays! The Machiavellian machinations! It’s all there. Too bad you have other, very real commitments and little time to waste.

Cancer: If you could do more, you would. If you had the strength, the command, the will, anything might be possible. But you’re feeling overburdened and under-motivated and not a little lonely. To whom could you reach out? Go through your little black book ASAP.

Leo: You are seeding your future even as you read this. You are the sum of your own potential every minute you draw breath. It’s an awesome concept to contemplate, and you don’t have a lot of free time for contemplation this minute. Act like you’ve still got it.

Virgo: Every time you sense you’re reaching the end of your rope, the last of the contortions, the final denouement, you find you’ve underestimated the reach and scope of the universe. There really is more going down than your philosophy has dreamt of. Believe.

Libra: Time and tide are no big deal. You’re floating with the current and are prepared to enjoy being swept out into the great, undifferentiated sea of the collective unconscious. Make a raft of your hopes. Make a sail of your dreams. Make a compass of your ideals.

Scorpio: What’s got you down? You don’t mind the endless labor. You’re down with the constant additions to your do-list. You’re even onboard with the extensions of expectations even as the timeline shortens. Buck up. Take your B-vitamins and a nap. Call a Pisces to confirm.

Sagittarius: You could lighten your load if you could acknowledge the future from the position of the present. Really. It’s time to think ahead and plan. You’ll find you can get more done with fewer distractions if you apply yourself early and often.

Capricorn: Did you fall for the hype? Did you allow yourself to be sold on the sizzle? Were you dazzled by the dog-and-pony show? Did you invest in the bells and whistles? It’s not too late to change your mind. It’s not too late to return your investment and make another choice.

Aquarius: You weren’t expecting simplicity. You weren’t counting on direct consequences. You weren’t allowing yourself to believe in the fairy tale. Yet somehow, you’re wondering how your chain of choices led you to this crux of the matter. Rethink the past to arrive at the future.

Pisces: Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t give out. You’ve come too far and tried too hard and spent too much to make this the end of the road. With all you’ve put into it, it might be time to see what kind of return you could make on your investment. Consult a consultant.


May 5-11, 2011

Heavenly Round-Up: The season is beginning to catch up to itself. The first frantic rush to git ‘er done is drawing to a close. Now comes the long, constant haul between here and there. The groove has been established and must be maintained to be meaningful. The beat carries us along its coursing rhythm towards our distant goals. Hold fast to your purpose. Develop patience along with discipline. This is a time of diligent productivity. Eschew resting on your laurels, and you’ll see fabulous yield. Dance carefully.

Aries: You are your own best advertisement. You are your own best reporter. You are your own best P.R. So why aren’t you further along with your stated goals? Why are you choosing to hesitate? And why do you feel this giant pause is to your advantage? Discuss with a Taurus.

Taurus: You’re ready to level up. You’re ready to go the distance. You’re ready to take the small step which is the giant leap when seen in perspective. But have you really done all the background work? Have you chosen with full deliberation? Have you thought it through?

Gemini: You are no longer as you once were. This is both good and bad alike. You’ve lost some spontaneity. You’ve gained some depth of comprehension. Your newfound maturity brings the gift of tenacity with it. Your lost innocence allows you to play on a wider field.

Cancer: Go step by step. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. You don’t have to be cruel to be kind. The world is on your side. If you could reach out to your community, you might be surprised at the in-pouring of help, hope and general good wishes.

Leo: You’re torn. You love doing what you do. You’re good at your work. You’re vocationally engaged. It’s so much more than what others seem to have. But you have another obligation. You have a mutually exclusive option in front of you, and you badly want it. Dream.

Virgo: You can’t stop looking around. Everything is so much more than you’d allowed yourself to hope. You’re full of the joy of the season. You’re full of the desire of the times. You want more for yourself, and for those around you. Get ready to get your hands really dirty.

Libra: If you could make it easier on others (or yourself), you would totally dodge the oncoming bullet. But this is a test of will, endurance and ultimately your own belief in yourself. You can make the dream come true. It might not be at a low-ball price. Don’t haggle too long.

Scorpio: Is this the relationship you want? Is it the one you’d hoped for? Is it the apotheosis of your aspirations? If it isn’t, you may want to get the heck out of Dodge at about warp speed. If this is indeed your dream come true, you need to hang on and pray hard.

Sagittarius: You want what you want, when you want it. But your body is running the show this minute, and it says you’ll have to hold your water whilst you clean and clear through years of over-indulgence. Have you got the strength of spirit to bring yourself to wellness?

Capricorn: You’re on a roll. You’ve gotten farther than you could have projected given the inputs. And yet, you have so much farther you need to go before you’re even half way there. So gird up your loins, tighten the buckle on your belt, and get ready to make it so!

Aquarius: You’re a blast when you allow yourself to let your hair down. Could you choose to relax just a little this one time? It’s been a while, and you may need a reminder of your better self and a fresher interpretation of your duties and obligations. Go out with a Libra.

Pisces: Patience will only take you so far. After that, it begins to look like laissez-faire apathy in sheep’s clothing. Don’t let anyone assume you’re not fully invested in the desirable outcome. Don’t let anyone assume you’re indifferent to any of the possible outcomes.