‘American Horror Story: 13’ Review – Let It Die
Jessica Lange and Evan Peters bring flashes of life to a tired, incoherent season of Ryan Murphy's once-brilliant horror anthology.
I remember a time when a new season of American Horror Story was something exciting. Friends would gather in front of the TV to witness what horrifying and quietly brilliant storylines Ryan Murphy had cooked up. From a coven of sardonic teenage witches in New Orleans, to ghostly next-door neighbors with a privacy problem, to a hotel co-run by a vampire and an undead serial killer trapped in a loveless marriage, AHS stood for campy maximalism and controlled shock factor. Each episode delivered something new yet grounded in a culture the show had built for itself.
How the mighty have fallen.
The thirteenth installment of the series, American Horror Story: 13, is far from the show that captured the cultural zeitgeist of the mid-2010s. This season follows Ben (Joey Pollari), a mild-mannered hospice nurse. After losing his girlfriend in a plane crash (one which he miraculously survives), he gets a job caring for the mysterious Mr. Nas (Fedor Steer), a shriveling man living in a luxurious Manhattan apartment.
He shares caregiving duties with Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange), perhaps one of the most recognizable characters from the American Horror Story universe. In typical AHS fashion, all is not right with the Mr. Nas situation, and the number 13 seems to play an uncanny role in a plot between Constance and the freaky phlebotomist (John Waters) to return Mr. Nas to his former greatness.
Right off the bat, the season is plagued with overwriting — total nonsense meant to be captured in bite-sized GIF format on social media. Many characters become parodies of their former selves, most notably Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts), whose snarky comments run sour even before they’ve had time to marinate on screen.
Madison was once a fan favorite, cementing Roberts as a permanent member of the AHS Hall of Fame. While you can’t fully blame Roberts for this turn, she hasn’t given Murphy any reason to elevate her from bitchy blonde eternal. This rehashing of Madison Montgomery is yet another iteration of Roberts’ screen persona that went out of style in 2018.
Within the first six episodes, the season — which consists of (surprise!) 13 episodes — is already lurching off the rails. But this is a train that should never have left the station to begin with. Its plot feels like the ChatGPT output of a crazed fan who decided one day to combine several of the previous seasons into a messy, incoherent hodgepodge.
Is it really all bad? A few of this season’s elements have a certain campy delight, and Murphy is the last person to be afraid of boundaries — even now, some of his more ridiculous antics can still earn a chuckle and a supportive nod from this viewer, notably with Lange’s surprise cameo character in the fourth episode.
Only an actor like Lange can turn horrible writing into something at least workable, and watching her opposite cultural titans like Waters and old-faithful scene partners like Evan Peters, we’re reminded of what magnetic talent truly means.
Speaking of Peters, he wears the character of James Patrick March again like a timeless sweater, bringing life to an iconic performance a decade after the character’s inception. The serial killer/hotel owner from AHS: Hotel challenged Peters to abandon the “boy-next-door with a dark side” he had embodied in the first four seasons of the series, and it is a pleasure to see a continuation of this side of Peters.
Unfortunately, the same grace can’t be extended to the return of Tate Langdon, Peters’ first character in the franchise back in 2011. Call me crazy, but I refuse to suspend my disbelief so much as to allow for an actor pushing forty to pass for a character eternally stuck in his teenage body. No matter what acting choices Peters makes, or how much the VFX department de-ages him, he never convincingly passes for seventeen.
It’s obvious that AHS: 13 is supposed to be a celebration of a show that, by most creative metrics, should have been canceled years ago. I plead with FX for a mercy killing. Let the series rest on its laurels and be done with it. AHS: 13 should be the final nail in the coffin. Unlike the decrepit Mr. Nas, not even a nefarious plot at the hands of Jessica Lange can revive this tired and overworked series.
American Horror Story: 13 (★☆☆☆☆) airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on FX through Oct. 29 and is available to stream on Hulu. Visit fxnetworks.com.
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